Anne Leeds: I thought I was too much like your sister to take out.

Stowe Devlin: Well, the content is similar, but the form is different.

Tony Armotti: That's your opinion, baby.

Anne Leeds: [angry] My name is Anne Leeds. You can call me Anne, Miss Leeds or "hey you", anything but baby!

Anne Leeds: Hussein, I think your name is beautiful.

Hussein Mohammed: In Mecca maybe but not in Brooklyn!

Ivy Corlane: Friends and neighbours the time is right! This could be the night!

Tony Armotti: Ivy, could you give a lift? For Hussein get a new name we got to find a costumer who can add X and Y and get Z.

Ivy Corlane: Honey, what does "x" means to you?

Ziggy Dawit: 50 dollars a week and alimony forever.

Tony Armotti: Mike, another slug.

Waiter: Hey Tony, how come Baby quit?

Eduardo, the Headwaiter: Roc wants to talk to you, I know that it's none of my business but I'm curious about why Baby quit.

Tony Armotti: Eddie, please, don't ask me, if you know what's good for you, don't ask me.

Anne Leeds: You live like a Casanova with a string of women running up and down the stairs, but when somebody tries to talk to you truthfully you react like an outraged prude. Let me tell you something, you're the museum piece, not me.

Ivy Corlane: It's a good thing you didn't take that bet, Tony, baby. That's right! No runs. No hits. No errors.

Patsy St. Clair: Oh boy, four burners, two ovens and a spit. The way other people want diamonds, that's how I want that stove.

Tony Armotti: Please, not the haughty princess bit. Not when my head is splittin' open.

Anne Leeds: Oh, would you like me to get you an aspirin?

Tony Armotti: No, no, no. You can't help me bake a cake either, or pass algebra or get over a heartburn

Bruce Cameron: Aw, Anne, what are you planning to be when you grow up, an old maid?

Anne Leeds: Somebody told you.

Leon: The slumming party in the kitchen is all over. Goodbye.

Stowe Devlin: I don't know what's come into your life lately, but what it's doing to your disposition is a crime.

Tony Armotti: Well, it's my life, my club and my disposition.

Tony Armotti: So what do you want? An amusing item for the eggheads back home? A chapter headed, "Interesting morons I've known"?

Crystal St. Clair: I'm a girl. An old girl, mind you, but a girl nonetheless. There's certain things we don't tell guys.

Hussein Mohammed: Yes, I passed algebra. Yes, I picked a new name - Harry Armotti, it was going to be. But if why I'm beginning to think Baby quit is why she quit, I wouldn't use that name of yours for a million bucks!

Anne Leeds: I vote, the Board of Education lets me teach, and when it comes to knowing my way around, I'll match myself against any dame in the place!

Tony Armotti: I spotted you the minute you opened your mouth.

Anne Leeds: I may have some sort of New England accent, if that's what you mean, but I can't help it any more than you can help your New York accent.

Tony Armotti: What New York accent?

Tony Armotti: I want to talk to Patsy about Patsy. She's been like a sleepwalker all week. You know, it's gettin' so the customers are too polite to applaud. They're afraid they'll wake her up.

Rocco: Stick to the dames that know the score - hello, thank you and goodbye.

Bruce Cameron: Why should a girl like Ivy go to night school? And if she does go to night school, why should she take algebra?

Anne Leeds: I like you, don't I?

Patsy St. Clair: Sure, but you're kind of an oddball.

Waiter: Give me a break, Tony.

Tony Armotti: Oh, you said a mouthful. I'm gonna give you a break!

[slugs him]

Tony Armotti: .

Rocco: Me and heartburn are a cinch daily double.

Ivy Corlane: You're very sexy, too, Leon.

Leon: Ha, it's true, I don't deny it. I was born that way.

Tony Armotti: I'm free. I got plenty of dough, a club we run to suit us and not the customers, and sense enough to know when I'm well off.

Rocco: You know who she reminds me of? My ex.

Tony Armotti: Oh, that must make you happy. How much was it Tina took you for?

Anne Leeds: Oh, you must hate doing this so conventionally. What a pity you can't hit me like you did that man in the alley.

Tony Armotti: Don't kid yourself, honey. If I caught you dipping your fingers in the till, I'd clip you, too. But him I didn't fire because he's good at his job, which you're not. Is that nice and clear?

Anne Leeds: Perfectly. If you're a thief or a liar, you belong at the Tonic. Otherwise, you don't.

Tony Armotti: Yeah, you tell 'em, sister. Get a soapbox and tell 'em.

Tony Armotti: There are two waiters and at least four musicians at the club who I know for a fact hate my guts. Let 'em. I don't care.

Anne Leeds: Maybe I'm not as insensitive as you are. I do care.

Rocco: You don't understand about Tony. He's the kind of a guy who could wind up in the clink easy, or drivin' a truck, or somethin'.

Tony Armotti: I kissed a good-looking girl. It's happened before, and the chances are pretty good it'll happen again.

Rocco: What has you don't approve of me got to do with where is my secretary?

Leon: You're young. You got your health. You don't need reasonably unhappy.

Mr. Bernbaum: Ivy, you are like an entrance with French horns.

Tony Armotti: I didn't have dime. I was a big load of nothin' walkin' around.

Tony Armotti: I stood still for a shelacking because I figured I owed you somethin' after ten years. But that paid me up. If you ever raise your voice to me again let alone your hand, I'll beat your brains out.

Crystal St. Clair: In order to have a stove delivered at 7 AM, who did you have to promise what?

Anne Leeds: But I left Massachusetts because I wanted to meet new people and make new friends. Live a litte.

Tony Armotti: Not in my club.

Tony Armotti: Do you know anything about the guy?

Anne Leeds: I know he's one of your best friends.

Tony Armotti: Well, if you had any sense, that should be enough.

Rocco: What they pay to sit on each other's laps it's a crime to take.

Tony Armotti: What do you mean hiring a girl like that?

Waxie London: What do you mean what do I mean hiring a girl like that?

Anne Leeds: What's happening?

Waxie London: It don't pay to be honest, that's what's happening.

Master of Ceremonies at Cooking Contest: Tell me, my dear, are you enjoying our contest?

Patsy St. Clair: Go away!

Rocco: You must have a pretty good education, huh?

Anne Leeds: Well, I graduated from Smith last year.

Rocco: Never heard of it. What kind of a team they got?

Anne Leeds: Oh, it's a woman's college. A very good one.

Rocco: What can you do?

Anne Leeds: Can you tell me what you need, Mr. Rocco.

Rocco: Anything I say I need, you'll say you got, that's human nature. Besides, I asked you first.

Patsy St. Clair: Say, Roc, Ma says I'm wearing too much. What do you think?

Rocco: I don't know, Patsy. Ask Tony.

Patsy St. Clair: Ah, he'll agree with Ma.

Rocco: And I'll agree with both of them.

Patsy St. Clair: Take 'em off! Take 'em off! Take 'em off!

Anne Leeds: Paula Lee was scratched at the post and horse called, Puddy Tat, made 7.50, and you made something called a round robin.

Anne Leeds: His attitude was - a little unfortunate.

Rocco: Made a pass, huh? Well, it figures, a writer sittin' around on this can all day, thinkin'. What else has he got to do? Well, it won't happen here. We got a house rule, me and my partner, no monkeying with the help.

Crystal St. Clair: Quiet! If you want toshe debate, hire a hall!

Ivy Corlane: What's this dolly got that's so special, Roc?

Rocco: Well, she - she don't know from nuttin'. It's cute.

Ivy Corlane: You can't mean from nothing?

Rocco: From nothin'!

Tony Armotti: That's going a little too far, Roc. She's a hick, I'll grant you; but, so are a lot of farmer's daughters. And you heard about them.

Rocco: Ivy, the matter we were discussin', let's forget about it, huh? Seein' as how we didn't make a bet.

[to Anne]

Rocco: Oh, we were arguing as to who pitched for the Yankees last year.

Ivy Corlane: Oh, that wasn't it, Roc. Did anyone make first base, that was the question.

Anne Leeds: But, somebody always makes first base

Anne Leeds: I never met so many amazing characters in one place in all my life.

Tony Armotti: Somethin' tells me you shouldn't be runnin' around loose.

Crystal St. Clair: Is it wrong, if I have ambition that I want you to be the best hoofer in the world?

Rocco: Okay, hot shot, a half a G says baby's what I think she is.

Tony Armotti: Oh, Roc, come on, what you think she is, there ain't anymore.

Rocco: How could you recognize one? You haven't met a dame your whole life that wasn't a tramp.

Tony Armotti: Baby. Baby, you're green all over, aren't you?

Anne Leeds: I don't think so. My experience maybe limited; but, you don't have to learn things by experiencing them. There are such things as books, you know. You don't have to be a chicken to make an omelet.

Ziggy Dawit: What's new?

Rocco: [eating dinner with Anne] Her. My secretary.

Ziggy Dawit: Oh! So, that's what they call it now.

Rocco: [to Anne] He writes a column. They all have dirty minds.

Ziggy Dawit: I want one, Roc. Right out of the same valley.

[Ziggy leaves]

Rocco: He's not a bad guy. The dames don't like him. It makes him a little sour.

Ivy Corlane: [singing] I'm gonna live, live, live, until I die! The blues I lay low, I'll make them stay low, They'll never trail over my head, I'll be a devil, till I'm an angel, but until then Hallelujah!

Ivy Corlane: Sweetie, we can't send a girl to do a woman's work.

Tony Armotti: His names Hussein Mohammed. What can you expect from kids. They can't see him without yelling, "Hey, Hussein, where's your harem?" If this dope would only laugh at them.

Ivy Corlane: What are we waiting for? The bar's crawling with brains tonight.

Rocco: What's so comical? A young lady gets a job and all of the sudden has to be pumped about what is nobody's business but her own.

Stowe Devlin: Massachusetts?

Anne Leeds: Newton.

Stowe Devlin: Dedham.

Anne Leeds: Really?

Stowe Devlin: Radcliff?

Anne Leeds: Smith. Harvard?

Stowe Devlin: Sorry, Amherst.

Anne Leeds: I'm perfectly satisfied. Oh, it is ever good to meet somebody like you in this place.

Stowe Devlin: Really, why?

Anne Leeds: Well, I just started working here and honestly it's like being in a foreign country! You don't know what a relief it is to run into somebody who speaks my language. Now, could I ask you a few questions about the place?

Stowe Devlin: Mmm, I don't think so. No. If you're in a foreign country, you ought to learn the language from the natives, not another tourist.

Crystal St. Clair: Don't ask me, tell me!

Hussein Mohammed: You shouldn't let Tony upset you. He's just trying to watch out for you, that's all.

Anne Leeds: Well, why me? Why not Ivy, Crystal or Patsy?

Hussein Mohammed: Because, you're the only - well, you're the only greenhorn we've got around.

Tony Armotti: Okay. What's the beef?

Anne Leeds: Oh, there's no beef.

Mr. Bernbaum: Ivy, you are like an entrance with French Horns.

Ivy Corlane: That's very sexy, Mr. Bernbaum.

Crystal St. Clair: All right, you're so smart, why don't you do the strip?

Ivy Corlane: Forget me lover, I'm about to find the lost chord.

Ivy Corlane: [singing] When she starts to shake her hips, Captain, captain, sink your ships, And if she starts to vamp, oh gosh, Mother burn my mackintosh! Since this vamping baby came to town...

Patsy St. Clair: [singing] My body is racked, Please believe me, It's no act, Come over to my corner, I'm really stacked, Get your latest, latest copy here, Get all the latest news from far and near...

Ziggy Dawit: Ivy, what you haven't got, I don't want.

Crystal St. Clair: She has to live her own life sometime, doesn't she. But, first, she's got to learn to tell me off.

Rocco: Ah, Patsy's okay. Not like you, when you was a kid. But, that's asking too much.

[to Anne]

Rocco: You should've seen her. Dynamite. And a knockout!

Tony Armotti: She's a good guy, that Crystal.

Ivy Corlane: [singing] Paradise is in our sights, And this could be the night, This could be the night, This the wondrous night - of love!

Patsy St. Clair: Well! Look who's here in time for flapjacks.

Crystal St. Clair: Shut up. Give him the coffee and beat it.

Rocco: Yeah.

Patsy St. Clair: Don't let the pancakes get cold.

Tony Armotti: This isn't a place for her.

Rocco: She don't meet the right element here.

Rocco: What do you think I came in for? To dictate a letter?

Tony Armotti: You were plastered; because, two drinks and you're a gone goose.

Tony Armotti: I think I'm gonna need a drink.

Anne Leeds: I could use one myself. I hate to disappoint you; but, it won't be my first.

Anne Leeds: Oh, really. You seem to think I'm a museum piece to be pressed between the pages of a book or pickled in alcohol!

Tony Armotti: If you ever raise your voice to me again, let alone, your hand; I'll beat your brains out!

Rocco: It's okay. She's spending the night with a girlfriend.

Mr. Shea - Landlord: The wife and I have the distinct impression she don't know anybody in New York that intimate.

Anne Leeds: Tell him that I came up here on my own.

Tony Armotti: Believe me, it'd be better to tell him I lured you up here with gum drops.

Ivy Corlane: [singing] My poor heart is sentimental, Its not made of wood, I got it bad and that ain't good...

[last lines]

Rocco: Some bossy dame. College broad!

Rocco: Anybody wants me, I'll be at Washing


Rocco: Market looking at egg plants instead of comics. Believe me, it'll be a relief.

Ziggy Dawit: Well, sitting in a front booth, eating your own food and laughing. You saving money on shills?

Rocco: Why not? What got ya up so early, Ziggy?

Ziggy Dawit: Oh, I couldn't sleep. What's new?

Rocco: [nodding toward Anne] Her - my secretary.

Ziggy Dawit: Oh, so that's what they call it now?

Rocco: [to Anne] He writes a column. They all have dirty minds.

Tony Armotti: And from now on, don't work past eleven. I've got a right to some mess around here.