22 January 2001 | Sterno-2
Look! A spider-thingy!
The Corman family (notably Roger) has this nasty habit of padding a movie with lots of walking. Oh sure, there are variations on the theme. Generally, though you will find yourself subjected to a tour of Bronson Canyon, or wherever they decided to film that day's movie. Brother Gene has added variety by giving us lots of SKIING!!
The plot involves four theives who stage a mine explosion in South Dakota to divert the town's attention while the bank is relieved of gold bars - but only six bars! Why six? Why, they're going cross-country skiing to the lodge of a local man, and that's all they can carry. From there, they will hop a plane to Canada. Unfortunately, there's a monster following the crooks, sort of a cross between a spider and Bigfoot with extra floppy arms.
If it all sounds odd, that's because it is. The tension between the boss (I suspect it's really Donald Sutherland undercover) and his *ahem* secretary is almost palpable. Frank Sinatra's cousin's performance is outstanding, definitely paving the way for Frank Stallone's run of fame years later.
The disturbing thing is that if these crooks are into putting their fellow fireworks manufacturers out of business, why are we robbing banks in South Dakota? Let's face it, South Dakota is not known for much other than Sturgis and it's motorcycle rally. I'm trying to figure out how partially robbing a bank in South Dakota cements your claim to the fireworks empire. Fortunately, I have other things to worry about other than these jokers.
Sterno says spin your spider web somewhere else.