Major Race: [after Hyde has explained his plan]
Major Race: Alright, I'm sold. I'll sign on, for the duration.
Lt. Col. Hyde: On my terms? Equal shares for all?
Major Race: Well, if you insist on this socialistic nonsense, yes. You're losing a friend, but gaining a second-in-command.
Lt. Col. Hyde: I'll settle for that.
[they drink a toast]
Mycroft: [playing a Brigadier inspecting the training camp in response to some private who has 'complained to his MP' regarding the food]
[enters Mess Hall]
Mycroft: Carry on eating. Any complaints here?
Captain Saunders: Come along now. Answer the Brigadier.
Other Private in Mess: No, Sir.
Mycroft: You're, um, quite satisfied with the food. You can speak quite freely.
Chunky Grogan: Well, er, no, Sir. Not always, Sir.
[CSM gives a menacing look]
Mycroft: What exactly don't you like about it?
Chunky Grogan: Well, er, they sometimes give you good grub, sir, but, er, they mess it about like.
Mycroft: How do you mean, mess it about?
Chunky Grogan: Well, take Sunday, Sir. I mean, er, we had a fair whack of the old roast and that and gravy and stuff, but they messed it about like. You know.
Chunky Grogan: Beg your pardon sir?
Mycroft: What did they do to it?
Chunky Grogan: Oh1 Oh, well, I'm not a cook am I? I only go by what I taste, like, and, er, it didn't taste right, see. It sort of tasted like they'd messed it about, like.
Mycroft: What's this man's name?
Captain Saunders: Mmm?
C.S.M.: Grogan, Sir.
Mycroft: That's all, is it?
Chunky Grogan: Well, that was only last Sunday, sir.
Mycroft: What about today's meal?
Chunky Grogan: Oh, well, very fair, sir. You know, if you like eggs. I mean, they're not great favourites of mine, but, er, you've gotta eat them to keep your strength up, like.
Mycroft: [sucks air through teeth] Yes.
[walks off with entourage]
Other Private in Mess: [other privates at table congratulate worthy Grogan, clapping him on the back] Well done, Rolly.
Chunky Grogan: Well, bleedin' asked me, didn't he?
Lexy: [asked if he's hoping for a dirty weekend with his girlfriend] I'm hoping for a dirty year. If I live that long.
Lt. Col. Hyde: Enjoy your meal, gentlemen. You know the old saying, "The rich man eats when you will, a poor man when you can."
Lt. Col. Hyde: Oh, one can't bother cooking for oneself.
Major Race: Well, remember rule two, old darling. Never get ahead of the mob. They're liable to shoot you in the arse.
Lt. Col. Hyde: Your presence here restores my basic disbelief in the goodness of human nature.