Let's Make Love (1960)
Yves Montand: Jean-Marc Clément
Photos
Quotes
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Jean-Marc Clement : How do people in show business look?
Amanda Dell : They don't. I mean, a girl can walk around backstage with nothing on except her good will and nobody'll even turn his head. The same girl, fully dressed, walks down an aisle of clerks in an office - pinched black and blue. What's the matter with you people, anyway?
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Amanda Dell : The least you could have done is tell me who you are!
Jean-Marc Clement : I did tell you.
Amanda Dell : How did you expect me to believe it?
Jean-Marc Clement : Because it was true.
Amanda Dell : That's no excuse!
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Jean-Marc Clement : You must be pretty tired. How many times did you go through that dance today?
Amanda Dell : Oh, I lost count. Matter of fact, sometimes I even trot home afterwards. You sleep better. You ever trot?
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Jean-Marc Clement : I'm just thinking.
Amanda Dell : About what?
Jean-Marc Clement : About how happy you are.
Amanda Dell : Me? Happy?
Jean-Marc Clement : Mmm-hmm. You seem able to forget yourself. That's the way you dance, and you walk in the street that way, too. You seem at home wherever you are. It must be a great feeling.
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Jean-Marc Clement : Now don't tell me I am buying your approval... I am.
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Jean-Marc Clement : You don't hold your liquor very well.
Alexander Coffman : It's not leaking out any place.
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Jean-Marc Clement : You don't have to worry about the bracelet, though. Just put Vaseline on your wrist every night. Don't skimp. A thick layer of Vaseline.
Lily Nyles : Vaseline? Why?
Jean-Marc Clement : It'll keep your wrist from peeling.
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[Milton Berle approaches Jean-Marc, acting feminine, comedically]
Jean-Marc Clement : And fourteen million Americans call you "Uncle?"
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George Welch : I've known for a long time that something like this was bound to happen. All those women you take out in public, this is the result.
Jean-Marc Clement : I'm not anxious to take them out in public, George. They won't stay indoors.
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Jean-Marc Clement : Please, will you call me a taxi?
Street Sweeper : Sure. You're a taxi. The guy who calls the taxis will be back in ten minutes. I only park the cars.
Jean-Marc Clement : I want to see the manager.
Street Sweeper : Come back in three months. Maybe he'll be out by then - with good behavior.
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Jean-Marc Clement : I've never met such a difficult girl to feed.
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Jean-Marc Clement : Oh, are you a college girl?
Amanda Dell : No. Night school. I'm getting my high school diploma.
Jean-Marc Clement : What do you want to do with that for?
Amanda Dell : I got tired of being ignorant. I never knew what people were referring to.
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Jean-Marc Clement : I hope you'll help me. I've never been on stage before.
Amanda Dell : I knew. You can always tell an outsider.
Jean-Marc Clement : How?
Amanda Dell : Mostly the way they look at girls in rehearsal clothes.
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Jean-Marc Clement : You're damn right, it's no good. I didn't count on looking that ridiculous. He's got all the jokes and I'm going cock-a-doodle-do.
George Welch : Well, you take his jokes and let him go cock-a-doodle-do. How about firing him?
Jean-Marc Clement : No. No. That would upset her.
George Welch : You'll never impress her by being a rooster - unless she's a chicken.
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Gene Kelly : You must express yourself. The way an actor does.
Jean-Marc Clement : An actor?
Gene Kelly : Yes! You see, a dancer expresses with his body what an actor does with words. It's not just the feet.
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Amanda Dell : You're really French, aren't you?
Jean-Marc Clement : Yes. Very much so.
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Jean-Marc Clement : Time is money and I don't like to waste either.
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Bing Crosby : [singing] If they're told to me all covered with sighs, The wildest of lies seems true.
[talking]
Bing Crosby : You see, you run it all together like that. Keep it movin'.
Jean-Marc Clement : Over?
Bing Crosby : Over, the whole thing.
Jean-Marc Clement : Breathe?
Bing Crosby : Oh, well you and I will know you're out of breathe. But, she'll think it's very sexy.
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Milton Berle : I have a gag that I always do. It's dynamite. It's the best thing that I've ever done.
Jean-Marc Clement : Is this material original?
Milton Berle : Original?
Jean-Marc Clement : Mm-hmm.
Milton Berle : Forget it, we'll try something else.
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Jean-Marc Clement : There is a job here, for an honest man.
Alexander Coffman : Thank you, sir. l wasn't addressing your money that time. l'll see you in the morning!
Jean-Marc Clement : And...
[hands diamond bracelet over as a gift]
Jean-Marc Clement : for your wife, to forgive me for keeping you so late. Don't tell me l'm buying your approval. l am, but one can only give what one has, and l give you that. Get in early. There will be a lot to do.
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Jean-Marc Clement : Show me what I can do with a woman.
Milton Berle : After what I read about you, I'm sure that you could show me.
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Bing Crosby : Can you whistle?
Jean-Marc Clement : Yes, it's, uh...
Bing Crosby : It might be too tricky. Might summon a lot of wild fowl, I guess.
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George Welch : Somebody's putting on a show and you're going to be portrayed in it.
Jean-Marc Clement : Really? I couldn't be more flattered.
George Welch : Listen to this, "Various Village Revues are caricatures of celebrities in the theater round. Some of the public figures up for laughs are Maria Callas, Elvis Presley, Van Cliburn and Jean-Marc Clement, amongst others." You're going to be made ridiculous.
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Lily Nyles : I'm just nuts about this stuff. When you get a necklace, show it to me. I'll buy it.
Jean-Marc Clement : I don't think the company will ever make necklaces. They'd be too dangerous.
Lily Nyles : Dangerous?
Jean-Marc Clement : Too much radioactivity.
Lily Nyles : Radio-what?
Jean-Marc Clement : These stones have been exposed to atomic waste. That's why they shine. A necklace would be too strong. All those radioactive stones bunched up around your neck, like that. You don't have to worry about the bracelet though. Just put Vaseline on your wrist every night. Don't skimp. A thick layer of Vaseline.
Lily Nyles : Vaseline?
Jean-Marc Clement : Every night. Don't skimp. A thick layer of Vaseline.
Lily Nyles : Vaseline, why?
Jean-Marc Clement : It'll keep your wrist from peeling.
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Jean-Marc Clement : [singing] I'm incurably romantic...
Bing Crosby : [talking] Oh, no. Romantic's a very big word. You want to lay on that. Base it with a lot of schmaltz.
[singing]
Bing Crosby : I'm incurably romantic
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Jean-Marc Clement : I am Jean-Marc Clement.
Amanda Dell : Look! Enough's enough, Alexander!
Jean-Marc Clement : Okay, call Berle, call Gene Kelly, call Bing Crosby! Come on!
Amanda Dell : Sure. I'll go right out and get them on the phone. You get a kick out of this - who ever you are.
[breaks down]
Amanda Dell : I can't stand anyone that makes fun of me!
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Jean-Marc Clement : George, tell her who I am.
George Welch : You are? Certainly. He's Alexander Dumas.
Jean-Marc Clement : No! George! Tell her the truth!
George Welch : The truth?
Jean-Marc Clement : Yes!
George Welch : I beg your pardon. How stupid. Actually he's Jean...
Amanda Dell , George Welch : Marc
Amanda Dell : Clement!
George Welch : What?
Amanda Dell : Who are you? King Farouk, I suppose. I hope you both enjoyed it. It's true what they say: there's no comedians left!