Mister Ed (1961–1966)
Allan Lane: Mister Ed
Photos
Quotes
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Mister Ed : Well, time to hit the hay... oh I forgot, I ate it!
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Mister Ed : Don't yell at me, Wilbur, I'm not your wife.
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[opening line of each episode]
Mister Ed : Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.
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Wilbur Post : I've been meaning to ask you, Ed. Just how do horses sleep standing up?
Mister Ed : [Shocked] We Do?
Wilbur Post : Didn't you know?
Mister Ed : How can I? When I'm asleep my eyes are closed!
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Wilbur Post : [after Mister Ed makes a great shot in a ring toss game] Good throw, Ed! I bet you're also good at pitching horseshoes!
Mister Ed : No, Wilbur, I don't play horseshoes.
Wilbur Post : Really? Why not?
Mister Ed : Because Mom always taught us kids not to throw our clothes around!
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Wilbur Post : Ed, you have run away for the last time! I'm going to lock you in your stall.
Mister Ed : Don't do that Wilbur! I suffer from claustrophobia!
Wilbur Post : Claustrophobia? You mean you have a fear of confined spaces?
Mister Ed : Sure, it runs in the family. I even get nervous when I put my nose in a small feedbag.
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Mister Ed : What do you say we go out riding and pick up a couple of fillies?
Wilbur Post : I'm not a horse, remember?
Mister Ed : Too bad, we could have a ball double dating.
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[Wilbur finds Mister Ed sleeping in his living room]
Wilbur Post : Oh no.
Mister Ed : If you had a dog, you'd let him sleep in the house.
Wilbur Post : A dog is different. A dog is a household pet.
Mister Ed : Then call me "Rover" and wake me at eight.
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Mister Ed : [impatiently] Let's Go Wilbur!
Wilbur Post : Go? You're on the bottom!
Mister Ed : Sorry! I forgot!
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[repeated line]
Mister Ed : Holler, but don't hit.
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Wilbur Post : [after Ed finds a straw hat] What are you going to do with a straw hat?
Mister Ed : I'll wear it till it goes out of style. Then I'll eat it!
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Mister Ed : I love Christmas. Wilbur is so full of the spirit of giving, and I'm so full of the spirit of receiving.
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Mister Ed : You should never have told me horses sleep standing up, it gave me a mental block.
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Wilbur Post : Ed, I've got a wife in my house.
Mister Ed : Don't tell me your troubles, I've got my own!
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Mister Ed : Stop gabbin' and get me some oats!
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Wilbur Post : Ed, I told you not to spy on our new neighbors.
Mister Ed : I'm not spying, I'm just exercising my eyes!
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Mister Ed : Oh Wilbur! I want to play with my set!
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Mister Ed : You love me more than you love your wife, don't you, buddy boy?
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[repeated line]
Mister Ed : I don't have to stay where I'm not wanted.
