Mister Ed: Well, time to hit the hay... oh I forgot, I ate it!
Mister Ed: Don't yell at me, Wilbur, I'm not your wife.
[opening line of each episode]
Mister Ed: Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.
Wilbur Post: Ed, you have run away for the last time! I'm going to lock you in your stall.
Mister Ed: Don't do that Wilbur! I suffer from claustrophobia!
Wilbur Post: Claustrophobia? You mean you have a fear of confined spaces?
Mister Ed: Sure, it runs in the family. I even get nervous when I put my nose in a small feedbag.
Mister Ed: Holler, but don't hit.
Mister Ed: You should never have told me horses sleep standing up, it gave me a mental block.
Mister Ed: I love Christmas. Wilbur is so full of the spirit of giving, and I'm so full of the spirit of receiving.
Mister Ed: Stop gabbin' and get me some oats!
Mister Ed: Oh Wilbur! I want to play with my set!
[repeated line, when Ed has gotten him into trouble]
Wilbur Post: Thanks a lot, Ed!
Roger Addison: [when he sees Wilbur's wife up in his arms again] Aren't you people overdoing this a bit?
Mister Ed: You love me more than you love your wife, don't you, buddy boy?
Wilbur Post: I only expect you to act like a normal human horse!
Wilbur Post: [after Gordon's car has been completely wrecked] Gee. Now you can hardly see my scratch!
Wilbur Post: Ed, what's the matter?
Mister Ed: I don't have to stay where I'm not wanted.