Alfred Lubitsch: Answer yes, and I owe you 100 francs. Answer no, and you owe me 100, okay?

Bar Owner: Okay.

Alfred Lubitsch: Here's the question: Can you loan me 100 francs?

Émile Récamier: Is this a tragedy or a comedy? Either way it's a masterpiece.

Angela: We should boycott women who don't cry.

Angela: Why is it always women that suffer?

Émile Récamier: Women are, or woman is, the cause of the suffering. You can say it either way.

Angela: Shut your face. Or I'll slap it until you've no face left!

Alfred Lubitsch: "Jules and Jim" progressing?

Woman in Bar: Moderato...

Angela: It's not fair. It's always when you're with someone that you're not with them. And vice versa.

Angela: Would you rather have fish or meat for dinner?

[impatient]

Angela: Emile!

Émile Récamier: Fish.

Angela: What would you have preferred if you were having meat?

Émile Récamier: I dunno. Veal.

Angela: And if you were to have beef rather than veal, would you prefer a steak or a roast?

Émile Récamier: A steak.

Angela: And had you answered roast, would you prefer it rare or well-done?

Émile Récamier: Rare.

Angela: [jump-cut to Angela returning with the well-done roast] Well, honey, you're out of luck. My roast beef's a little overdone.

Angela: Would you feel awkward undressing in front of men?

Suzanne: No, I despise everyone.

Angela: Me, too!

Alfred Lubitsch: Make up your minds. I'd hate to miss "BREATHLESS" - it's on T.V.

Angela: I'm late.

Alfred Lubitsch: Hello, Angela.

Angela: Been here a long time?

Alfred Lubitsch: Me, no. 27 years.

Alfred Lubitsch: I want to see you nude before we cohabit. That's fair!

Prostitute 2: We can meet later at the movies. It's "VERA CRUZ".

Alfred Lubitsch: With my pal, Burt Lancaster.

[Alfred turns to the camera and grins]

Angela: Stop avoiding the question. What limits?

Alfred Lubitsch: I'm just following your example.

Angela: Women are allowed to avoid the question.

Alfred Lubitsch: What're you thinking?

Angela: Nothing... I think I'm alive.

Angela: [singing & Stripping] If you're wondering why... I'm the girl for every guy... It's not complicated... The truth's quickly stated. I've very pretty breasts... Eyes like amethysts... A neck white as milk... And a body smooth as silk. I hate it when... They don't have the knack... But I adore when... They stroke my back. I say "yes" every time... Someone says, "Come, be mine"... With boys, you see... Don't stand on ceremony. I know I'm bad... I know I'm cruel... But men don't get mad... Because I'm so - beauti-ful.

Alfred Lubitsch: Is that why you're sad?

Angela: No.

Alfred Lubitsch: Then why?

Angela: Because I'd like to be in a musical...

[singing & Dancing]

Angela: with Cyd Charisse... and Gene Kelly... Choreography... by Bob Fosse!

Angela: Oh, yes - "SHOOT THE PIANO PLAYER." Did you see the film? Aznavour's a genius.

Angela: Why are you laughing?

Émile Récamier: Because you are shameless.

Angela: Me? Am I not a woman? I am a woman.

Sports Radio Announcer: Di Stefano reaches for it - he grabs the ball! He spins to the right - like the great Matthew used to! Fantastic! Pure Shakespeare! Divine Alfredo, the Julius Caesar of football! I could cry - the Royals are great!

Angela: Change your tone - do you mind?

Émile Récamier: In what way?

Angela: Try lowering it. You're making me deaf!

Émile Récamier: My voice is low - just right.

Angela: Definitely not!

Émile Récamier: It's not low?

Angela: It's low-class.

Angela: My fanny's cold, Émile, my fanny's cold.

Angela: He played Aznavour. You know, the record that sends me everytime... and goes ta, ta, ti...

Émile Récamier: No, it's ti, ti, ta...

Angela: Lights. Camera. Action!

Angela: Women have the right to talk in riddles, Monsieur Emile, not men.

Émile Récamier: How come?

Angela: Because!

Émile Récamier: Say something nice to me.

Angela: Leave me alone!

Angela: And how about me? What am I?

Alfred Lubitsch: I said "okay." You do understand French?

Angela: Do you have a coin?

Alfred Lubitsch: The jukebox?

Angela: Yes!

Alfred Lubitsch: Ok. What'll I play - "Itsy-Bitsy"?

Angela: No - Charles...

Alfred Lubitsch: Aznavour?

Angela: Yes!

Angela: What's so funny?

Émile Récamier: Angela, you're without shame.

Angela: Me? I'm not without shame... I'm a DAME.