General Hospital (1963– )

Anthony Geary: Luke Spencer, Bill Eckert, Fake Luke, Fluke, Sam Smith, Tim Spencer, Cesar Faison, Lucas 'Luke' Lorenzo Spencer, Luke Spencerà, Rodiger Family Friend

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Quotes 

• Luke Spencer : You really freaked your mother out. Did it make you feel like a man?

  Lucky Spencer : Did raping her make you feel like one?

• Laura Spencer : I love your confidence.

  Luke Spencer : I love your everything.

• Lucky Spencer : Mom was an addiction for you, Dad - a drug until you found your next fix.

  Luke Spencer : Your mother will always be my drug of choice.

• Luke Spencer : I may be taller, but you're my hero.

  Lucky Spencer : How much longer you think you can keep that taller thing going?

• Luke Spencer : Oh, Blaze, please be reasonable. You're a convicted felon. I'm wanted for unlawful flight and God knows what else. We got to lay low, and the only way to lay low in Port Charles is to be homeless.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Since I have known you, I have been trapped in a burning building, stalked, kidnapped, and left to die in Wyndemere. I woke up next to a dead man, been convicted of murder, and spent time in a state penitentiary! But I will not have cockroaches crawling on me! That is where I draw the line!

  Luke Spencer : They won't, no more. I promise you. Trust me. I'll just fumigate the cardboard condo and you can get back to your beauty sleep.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : I don't think you're quite hearing me. You see, I would rather turned myself in and be lethally injected for a crime I didn't commit than spend one more minute as a homeless person! Now, either you find us a nicer, cleaner disguise or you're on your own.

• Faith Rosco : If the princess doesn't want to leave, we'll go without her. Enjoy the blaze!

  Luke Spencer : Skye, you can't just sit here and wait for the - wait for the room to go up in flames.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Well, it hasn't reached us yet. And, look, we have water, you know, and I heard the fire engines down stairs. We should wait here until we get evacuated.

  Luke Spencer : We've got to go up or down now.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : No, I'm telling you, it is too risky!

  Luke Spencer : If the explosions have caused the stairwells to be blocked, then they're going to be putting people on choppers from the roof.

  Faith Rosco : Oh, hello! Less chat, more running for cover!

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Luke, come on, you already passed out once!

  Luke Spencer : Yeah, and your first-aid techniques have made me a stronger, better man.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, come on, Luke!

  Luke Spencer : Skye! The fire is moving through the walls! This room could go up in flames in five minutes!

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Well, you know, it hasn't reached us yet, OK?

  Luke Spencer : Darling, I am not a white knight.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Yeah, well, this isn't a test, OK? I'm not waiting for you to rescue me.

  Luke Spencer : Well, then come with me!

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : No way, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm staying.

  Faith Rosco : Great, super. Let's go, my nail polish is melting!

• Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : I empathize with your pain, your loss. It was a magical wedding day you had with Laura.

  Luke Spencer : You weren't there.

  Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : I read about it in the papers. It mean, it was the event of the year. A perfect day, a beautiful ceremony. Laura, she looked like an angel. I couldn't help being a little jealous.

  Luke Spencer : Why would you be jealous of Laura?

  Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : Oh, what girl doesn't dream of marrying her one true love in an autumn garden.

  Luke Spencer : Well, dreams turn to nightmares everyday, Heather. Every day.

• Luke Spencer : You deserve the best of me. Which ain't saying a hell of a lot.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Hey! That's good enough for me. And you know what? I am so glad that you're not perfect, because guess what - I'm not perfect, either.

  Luke Spencer : I didn't know that.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, I love it when you lie.

  Luke Spencer : Do you? You better be careful what you ask for. You know, lying is my strongest, most consistent personality trait.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : No, it's not. You know, you have been nothing but honest with me form the beginning - and sometimes brutally so - but I got to say that somewhere along the way. I learned that I could trust you. And believe me, that is not something that I do easily. I need you, Luke. I do.

  Luke Spencer : Well, here's new - I need you, too.

• Skye Quartermaine Jacks : This Casino looks like a bingo hall.

  Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : Where's your Holiday spirit?

  Luke Spencer : As I recall, Blaze, last year you decorated, over my objections.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : I was throwing a Christmas party for the construction staff.

  Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : Well, our paying guest certainly deserve the same attention. I want them to have fun here. But you're always so downbeat and miserable. You clearly don't know how to inspire any kind of revelry.

  Luke Spencer : Where as Heather knows how to heat up any occasion.

  Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : Glad you remember.

• Luke Spencer : There, See? If we keep working together. All our dreams will come true.

  Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : All my dreams are very specific, Luke. You better rest up.

• Luke Spencer : The important thing here is that we all get what we want.

  Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : Well, in that case, Skye, just stay out of the way, Luke and I will greet the guest as they arrive.

  Edward Quartermaine #3 : The next person you will be greeting is my attorney.

  Heather Grant Webber Quartermaine : Oh, sweetheart, it's so good to see you.

  Edward Quartermaine #3 : Don't sweetheart me, you tarantula. You're finished spending my money.

• Luke Spencer : Edward, if I were you, I'd rethink that divorce thing.

  Edward Quartermaine #3 : Why, Luke, so you can reopen the club with the money Heather stole from me?

  Luke Spencer : No, sir, because if you divorce that woman, you're going to be dead before the ink is dry.

• Heather Grant Webber : So, where are you and Skye hiding out?

  Luke Spencer : I haven't seen Skye.

  Heather Grant Webber : Come on, Luke. Everybody knows you and Skye are having a thing.

  Luke Spencer : Heather, Port Chuckles is a hotbed of sanctimonious busybodies who can't keep their nose in their own business. You know that.

  Heather Grant Webber : But you two worked at the Haunted Star together, you were partners. You must have spent a lot of time together.

  Luke Spencer : Yeah, Well, I've also got a partner named Faith Rosco, or I used to. Does that mean I'm getting it on with her?

• Luke Spencer : I'm disappointed in you, Red. Really disappointed. I mean, the Australian's rich, sure, but that's it. That's all he's got to offer. You could do so much better.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Well, I'm sure Jax has kind words for you, too.

  Luke Spencer : Well, he should. I've never done anything to him. However, he has treated you like dirt, he's drop-kicked you, he's shallow as a mud puddle. What do you see in him, anyway? Why are you so hung up on him?

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, there's so much more than that. Let's see while you were gone, Jax and I remarried. Oh, and even better, we're expecting a little bundle of joy. Let's see what else happened while you were away. Oh, yes, we were robbed opening night at the casino here. But, well, I managed to keep the place open while you were gone and just took off and left me a note!

  Luke Spencer : You really missed me, didn't you?

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, I missed you, all right, considering you're the only warm body between this casino and that bleached-blond psychopath freak, Faith Rosco.

  Luke Spencer : She been threatening you again?

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, only every time she turns around.

• Laura Spencer : [after hanging a sheet up to divide her side of the motel room from Luke's while on the run from Frank Smith]  I like it.

  Luke Spencer : I hate it. It works. I got one question.

  Laura Spencer : What's that?

  Luke Spencer : With this blanket up here, what do I sleep under?

  Laura Spencer : Luke, it's the middle of August. You don't need a blanket.

  Luke Spencer : Okay. Fine with me, but I tell you something. I'm not gonna sleep in these clothes. I'm sleeping in the buff girl. And if you have to get up in the middle of the night, go down the hall to the little girl's room, be sure to peek baby I've got nothing to hide.

  Laura Spencer : Okay. I will give you uh, a sheet. And I'll use the comforter.

  Luke Spencer : How nice. As deep fried as it may be, the girl has a heart.

  Laura Spencer : I slip sometimes.

  Luke Spencer : Well merci beaucoup Simone!

  Laura Spencer : You're welcome.

• [Luke is acting as Laura's defense attorney in Jennifer's mock trial...] 

  Luke Spencer : Gentlemen of the jury, look at this defendant. Just look into those eyes - clear, blue, like deep wells of sapphire. And the skin, check out that skin - smooth as marble, and yet coursing with the heat and passion of life. This woman is not only beautiful, she's courageous - she would risk her life for love. This woman would use her remarkable intellect to question all the great philosophies of the planet, and to figure out all the mysteries. This woman could break your heart with a smile, and she could melt your anger with a touch. This woman is as close to perfect as anything on this earth. Gentlemen, something this passionate, this loving, this perfect, cannot be guilty.

  [Later...] 

  Jennifer Smith : Has the jury reached a verdict?

  Man : We have, your honor. We find the defendant not guilty...

  Luke Spencer : Yes!

  Man : By reason of being too beautiful.

  Luke Spencer : And that's right!

  Jennifer Smith : Typical male jury.

• [Luke's inner monologue, as Laura and Roy perform CPR on him...] 

  Luke Spencer : Dying is easy. It's living that's hard. Whoever said that got it right. I have to admit, I expected more fuss. A checkered flag. Martha & The Vandellas in wings and halo. At least a good blues band. But this is only mind pictures. The Dick Tracy watch Bobbie stole for my 14th birthday. The first time I laid eyes on that shiny pink cadillac. The disco ball in the middle of my own club, reflecting light and all dreams. And Laura. Better than any choir of angels. Laura. Who makes it all worthwhile. Laura. My wife.

• Luke Spencer : This is not like you to freeze up, Red.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : No. Luke, it's called logic and common sense.

  Faith Rosco : No, no, it's called blind panic! Look, I'm not going to die because this bimbo is too drunk or too dumb to walk out of a burning building.

  Luke Spencer : Feel free to leave us.

  Faith Rosco : Uh, no. I saved your life. I expect you to return the favor.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : You know, I may loathe that woman, but she's got a point. Look, you know, you and Faith, you want to go, go.

• Skye Quartermaine Jacks : I feel like an idiot.

  Luke Spencer : Oh, you look like a princess.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, your opinion doesn't count. You're just delirious with joy over finding that stupid treasure. Now, come on, Luke, we have to move faster!

  Luke Spencer : Give me a break! I'm dragging my booty as fast as I can.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Can we lose half of it?

  Luke Spencer : Oh, perish the thought, woman.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, what if we perish instead? I swear to you, Luke, that if we get killed over this heap of junk, I will never forgive you.

• Dr. Cameron Lewis : Do something for me.

  Luke Spencer : What?

  Dr. Cameron Lewis : Take care of Lucky the way I never took care of my boys. Love that little girl within an inch of her life. If you don't, the regrets are profound.

  Luke Spencer : Well, that's easier said than done, Doc. You're going to have to hang around and enforce compliance.

  Dr. Cameron Lewis : Luke, we both know that's not going to happen. I know what dying is. Hell, I should. I've been dying inside for years.

• Luke Spencer : Hey! Life's a gamble, People! This proves it! Everybody's got one chance to save his or her life! This is going to be a lottery, folks. Everybody draws a number, low goes first, high last. The only exceptions will be the badly injured and kids under 18 - they take priority.

  Faith Rosco : Who put you in charge?

  Luke Spencer : This. This is my authority. You want to challenge it, step forward. I won't hesitate to put a bullet in anybody who causes trouble. And one more thing - all drawings are final. No trading number, no selling them off. What you draw is when you leave, period! That all right with you?

  Ric Lansing : It's a plan.

• Luke Spencer : Congratulations. You just pulled number seven for the helicopter ride. I've been holding it for you.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : No trading numbers, no selling them off. The number you pick is when you leave. Do your own words have a familiar ring?

  Luke Spencer : I don't follow rules, especially my own.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : I think it's extremely chivalrous of you to offer, but I picked 19. I will go when they call that number.

  Luke Spencer : I've always heard redheads were fiery and stubborn, full of life, and passion. tonight you proved it, Blaze.

• Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Look, you just can't come into my house and take a shower.

  Jasper 'Jax' Jacks : I thought you'd understand.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Understand what? I don't go into your house and take a shower, do I?

  Jasper 'Jax' Jacks : I don't have a house anymore.

  Luke Spencer : See, he's got you there. Blaze.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Don't call me Blaze.

  Jasper 'Jax' Jacks : Why does he call you Blaze?

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : He doesn't call me Blaze.

  Luke Spencer : You ever seen this woman wield a fire extinguisher.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Look, you know what? We all got out of the fire. We're safe. I'm incredibly grateful. But, all I want out of life right now is a long hot bubble bath.

  Luke Spencer : Care for company?

• Luke Spencer : Hi, It's me. Lucas Lorenzo Spencer. Well, what can you say about Cameron Lewis except that he was as crazy as most of his patients? Which is probably why he was a good doctor. He was an honest man, and he told it like it was. He'd been to some dark places in himself, and he wasn't afraid of those places in other people. He knew what made seemingly intelligent people trash their own lives. Dr. Lewis died saving my son, probably because he couldn't save his own. He made mistakes, like everybody, but did what he could to fix what he had broken. He was a good man, an honest man. I don't really believe that the dead can hear me or see me. But, just in case I'm wrong, Thanks, Cameron. You were a good friend.

• Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Have you forgotten one very important detail? Faith is a homicidal maniac.

  Luke Spencer : True, but she's also a savvy investor.

  Faith Rosco : Oh, thank you. It's nice to be appreciated.

  Luke Spencer : Her participation guarantees notoriety. Plus we all benefit from the percentage of laundering her money, which I explained to you already.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Yeah, but, you see, that was before you disappeared and left me alone with this bleach-blond barracuda, before I had to stop her from murdering Justus Ward, before she tried to kick us out of our own club.

  Faith Rosco : Is this a private rant, or can anyone chime in?

  Luke Spencer : Chime.

  Faith Rosco : Good. See, now that you're back and someone competent is in control. I promise to be on my very, very best behavior. See, I'd rather have you on my side than standing against me, so to speak.

  Luke Spencer : I'm glad we understand each other. I look forward to doing more business with you.

  Faith Rosco : I'm breathless with anticipation. Don't disappoint me.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Do you want to get the knife out of my back because it's a little hard to reach.

  Luke Spencer : Oh, come on, Blaze, calm down.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, no, don't Blaze me! You just sided against me with a psychopath.

  Luke Spencer : Well, I think she's more of a sociopath, actually, but she's not so bad. Believe me, I've danced with worse.

  Skye Quartermaine Jacks : Oh, my God. I can't believe I didn't see this before. You actually enjoy having that woman around, don't you? You like the treachery with a little murder thrown in. You're really having fun here, aren't you?

  Luke Spencer : That's somewhat true.

• Luke Spencer : Look, Mr. Lansing, you have no idea. You have no experience dealing with the Cassadines. The family ancestral motto is "cause as much misery to as many people as possible, " and Helena here is the grand mistress of misery!

  Helena Cassadine : Luke has always been obsessed with me. I suppose it's flattering in a perverse sort of way.

  Luke Spencer : Well, perversity is your best event, Cupcake.