Boy: Hey kid, how would you like to kick me in the shin?

Boy: How would I like to kick you in the shin?

Mike Edwards: Uhum.

Boy: Mister are you drunk?

Mike Edwards: No. I'll tell you what, if you kick me in the shin I'll give you a quarter, here.

[Gives the boy a quarter and the boy kicks him]

Mike Edwards: [in pain] Yeoww! That's good! Thanks kid.

[limps off]

Boy: [shaking his head] Adults, they're all nuts!

Danny Burke: You didn't tell me she was put together like that!

Mike Edwards: Can't you tell a nice girl when you meet one?

Danny Burke: Oh oh! Now he's a cub scout. What happened, somebody steal your wolf whistle?

Sue Lin: Ohhhh! Ohhhh! I don't feel good, Mr. Mike. I don't feel good!

Mike Edwards: I wonder why!

Diane Warren: There is *nothing* in either eye.

Mike Edwards: Well, maybe it's right in the middle, just passing under my nose, and going from one eye to the other?

Diane Warren: I'm afraid that would be medically impossible.

Mike Edwards: Well, you can't tell. Science is making new discoveries every day.

Diane Warren: Yes. And it's too bad they haven't come up with a wolf repellant!

Mike Edwards: My name is Mike Edwards. I'd like to start over again, Miss Warren.

Diane Warren: The only thing that I want you to start, Mr. Edwards, is *out*!

Mike Edwards: Look, I know I have a tendency to press, but it's a personality flaw. Basically, I'm not a bad guy, really.

Diane Warren: Do you want me to call the guard?

Mike Edwards: I like it better with just the two of us.

Mike Edwards: When I was all alone up in the blue with Bessie, I just didn't feel the need for anybody else.

Diane Warren: "Bessie"?

Mike Edwards: She's my airplane.

Diane Warren: Oh, you're a flyer?

Mike Edwards: Yeah. 9,000 hours in the air. 8,000 with a plane.

Mike Edwards: Diane, believe me, the kid is an absolute stranger!

Diane Warren: And you're an absolute liar!... As far as I'm concerned, you can go back up the Space Needle and jump off!

Danny Burke: You going to give up flying?

Mike Edwards: Well, not exactly. I've been thinking about signing up for something in the Space Program.

Danny Burke: Space! Beautiful! You'd be perfect for it - you got a head full of it!

Mike Edwards: Danny, you weren't born, you were dealt.

Second Attendant: [Mike brings Sue Lin to the nurse's station] Good heavens, what's the matter?

Sue Lin: I got a stomach ache.

Mike Edwards: She kinda' went overboard on the groceries, ma'am. I'm afraid it's my fault.

Second Attendant: That's generally the case. Are you all right?

Mike Edwards: Oh, sure. My stomach went through 3 years in the Army, ha ha.

[the nurse is not amused]