The Sword in the Stone (1963)

Martha Wentworth: Madam Mim, Old Lady Squirrel, Scullery Maid

Photos 

Quotes 

• Madame Mim : Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful.

• [preparing for the Wizards' Duel] 

  Madame Mim : Now, first of all, if you don't mind, I'll make the rules.

  Archimedes the Owl : Rules indeed! G'ha-ha-ha! Why, she only wants rules so she can break 'em.

  Madame Mim : I'll take care of you later, feather-brain.

  [Archimedes huffs indignantly] 

  Madame Mim : Now, Rule One: No mineral or vegetable, only animals. Rule Two: No make-believe things like, uh, oh, pink dragons and stuff. Now, Rule Three: No disappearing.

  [pinches Merlin playfully on the nose] 

  Merlin : Rule Four: No cheating.

• Merlin : Madam, I have not disappeared. I'm very tiny. I am a germ. A rare disease. I am called malignalitaloptereosis... and you caught me, Mim!

  Madame Mim : What!

• Merlin : Oh, it's not too serious, madam. You should recover in a few weeks and be as good, uh... he-he-he, I mean, as BAD as ever; but, uh, I would suggest plenty of rest, and lots and lots of sunshine.

  Madame Mim : I hate sunshine! I hate horrible, wholesome sunshine! I hate it! I hate it! I hate, hate, hate, HAAATE...!

• Castle Scullery Maid : You old goat! If I ever catch you in my kitchen again, I'll...

  Merlin : Madame, you won't!

  [promptly disappears] 

• Madame Mim : Now what do you think, boy? Who's the greatest? Ha-ha-ha HA ha-ha!

  Arthur : Well, uh, Merlin's magic is always... uh, well... useful, uh... for something good.

  Madame Mim : And he must see something good in you.

  Arthur : Oh, I suppose so.

  Madame Mim : Yes, and in my book that's bad!

  [Runs to the window and slams it shut] 

  Madame Mim : So, my boy, I'm afraid I'll have to destroy you.

  Arthur : D-destroy me?

  Madame Mim : Yeah, I-I'll give you a sporting chance. I'm mad about games, you know.

  [chuckling as she turns into a cat] 

  Madame Mim : Well, come on. Get going, boy. You gotta keep on your toes in this game.

• Merlin : Now, now, Mim, Mim, no... no dragons, remember?

  Madame Mim : Did I say no purple dragons? Did I?

• Madame Mim : Say, lad, did you know that I can make myself uglier yet?

  Arthur : Well, that would be some trick - er, I-I-I mean, uh...

  Madame Mim : Want a bet?

  [hides her face in her hair, pulls hair back to reveal a sow's face] 

  Madame Mim : BOO!

  [Arthur jumps in fright] 

  Madame Mim : Oh, ho! You see? I win! I win! Aren't I hideous, boy, perfectly revolting?

  Arthur : [shaking his head at first, then nodding]  Uh... yes, ma'am.

• Madame Mim : But you ain't seen nothin' yet. Watch this.

  [Presses her pig snout and turns into a beautiful, voluptuous wasp-waisted woman] 

  Madame Mim : [singing]  I can be beautiful, / lovely and fair / Silvery voice, / long purple hair / La-la-la-la, / La-la-la-la-la, / La-la-la-la-la-la, / La-la-la-la-la-la-la / But, it's only skin deep, / for zim-zaberim-ZIM!

  ["Beautiful" Mim yanks her long hair and explodes in a puff of yellow smoke, turning back into an old woman] 

  Madame Mim : I'M AN UGLY OLD CREEP! The magnificent, marvelous, mad, mad, mad, mad Madam Mim!

• Madame Mim : Sounds like someone's sick, how lovely! I do hope it's serious, something dreadful. Oh, bat gizzard! It's nothing but a scrawny little sparrow with a beakful of soot.