Johnny Finger: [addressing the Indian chief] How! Me-um heap big paleface chief from-um Stodge City. Me-um salute-um big chief. Me-um want-um pow-wow.

Big Heap: [speaking perfect English] I say, you do talk funny. You must be foreigners.

Johnny Finger: [the opening scene after he shoots the three men] I wonder what they wanted?

Johnny Finger: What's the matter? What have I done wrong?

Sheriff Albert Earp: You just killed three men, mister.

Johnny Finger: I know that, but what have I done wrong?

Commissioner: Send him a Marshall. Anything for peace.

Perkins: That's just the trouble, sir. We haven't any available.

Commissioner: Nobody? What about that big head who's always hanging around here looking for work? What's his name? Dillon. What's he doing?

Perkins: Six months.

Johnny Finger: I once talked peace with a Sioux, but you can't trust them. One moment it was peace on, the next it was peace off.

Sam: I never did get to know exactly what she'd done that was so wrong.

Judge Burke: Old Ben was a friend of mine Sam, and she killed him.

Doc: It was his own fault. He was ninety-two. I warned him not to marry her!

Big Heap: This is my squaw, Kitikata. I bought her for two buffalo skins.

Charlie: How.

Johnny Finger: Never mind how, where!

Belle Armitage: [admiring his gun] My, but you got a big one!

Johnny Finger: I'm from Texas, ma'am. We all got big ones down there.

Perkins: It's another telegram from Stodge City, sir. Judge Burke. He's the mayor there, you know.

Commissioner: Burke? Oh yeah, I remember him in law school. He's a bum.

Perkins: I didn't know you studied at law school, sir.

Commissioner: I didn't. I was the janitor.

Belle Armitage: [referring to Annie Oakley] But Johnny, she's no good! Take it from me, she's after something.

Johnny Finger: Take it from me, if you get out of the way she's gonna get it!

Belle Armitage: But Johnny, have you forgotten? I'm your little ding dong!

Johnny Finger: I hate to have to say it, but your ding has lost its dong!