The Wrong Box (1966)
Tony Hancock: Detective
Quotes
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[last lines]
Detective : All right, come on, come on, what's going on? Come on, what is it? Come on!
Clergyman : Please, sir, I beg of you, there's a dead man here.
Detective : All right, no one move!
[long pause while he realizes it's a church burial]
Detective : Finsbury?
Michael Finsbury , Julia Finsbury , Masterman Finsbury , Joseph Finsbury , Morris , John Finsbury : Yes?
Detective : MORRIS Finsbury!
John Finsbury : [turning Morris around and pointing at him] Yes.
Detective : Morris Finsbury, I arrest you for stealing £100,000.
Lawyer Patience : But the money has been returned, sir.
Detective : Who are you, sir? Some sort of accomplice?
Lawyer Patience : Certainly not: I am his solicitor.
Detective : Oh, you've brought your solicitor with you, have you? Yes, I've met your type before.
Lawyer Patience : No, no, no. I mean, I, I, I'm the administrator of the tontine.
Detective : Tontine?
Joseph Finsbury : Named after Lorenzo Tonti, a Neapolitan banker.
Detective : And who are you, sir?
Joseph Finsbury : I...
Masterman Finsbury : [interrupting] He's nobody. He's my young brother.
Detective : And who are you, sir?
Masterman Finsbury : None of your business, sir!
Detective : I shall have you arrested for indecent exposure!
Julia Finsbury : Oh!
Michael Finsbury : My grandfather was recently buried, sir.
Detective : And who are you, sir?
Julia Finsbury : He is Michael Finsbury.
Detective : And who are YOU, madam?
Michael Finsbury : She is Julia Finsbury, shortly to become... Julia Finsbury!
Detective : Young man, did you know there was a body in the piano?
Peacock : I did it.
Detective : Who is he?
Michael Finsbury : He is the butler, sir.
Detective : The butler did it?
Michael Finsbury : No, sir. I put the body there.
Detective : Is this true?
Michael Finsbury : Yes sir.
Detective : In that case, you are entitled to a reward of £1,000. You are responsible for bringing the Bournemouth Strangler to his just end.
Michael Finsbury : A, a thousand pounds? Oh, but I-I-I don't, I don't deserve it. The body just arrived in a barrel.
John Finsbury : I sent it.
Detective : And who are you, sir?
Morris Finsbury : He is of diminished responsibility, officer. It was all my doing. If there's any justice in this naughty world, the reward is mine.
Detective : And WHO are YOU?
[falls into open grave]
Morris Finsbury : You remember me - Morris Finsbury. I was falsely accused of stealing a hundred thousand pounds, whereas in fact it was me, and me alone, who was responsible for bringing the Bournemouth Strangler to his just desserts.
