31 October 2005 | sol1218
The Birds! The Birds!
(Some Spoilers) Dopey crime caper set in Bunos Aires Argentina with a bunch of singing crooks led by world renowned criminologist and author Ross Simpson, Rossano Brzaai.
Frustated with his pet project, trying to have the perfect crime committed since the crooks he's hires to do it are nothing but a bunch of lame brains and butterfingers. Ross still thinks that the perfect crime can be committed if only those who are committing it have at least some gray matter between their ears.
Not participating in any of the crimes that he organizes Ross isn't really interested in the money but the fact of him being able and smart enough in pulling it, the perfect crime, off. Ross' mom gives him an idea by telling her not so bright son to at least make his hard work worth it by taking the money instead of letting the crooks take it which they never have the brains or smarts to do.
It just happens that Ross, who a professor at a local Rome college, is given a one year vacation, with pay, and an all-expenses paid to travel to Buenos Aires Argentina to have the time to write his new book. Ross is also given from the class that he's teaching criminology sexy Leticia, Ann Margret,as an assistant. As soon as Ross arrives in Buenos Aires he concocts a plan to pull off the greatest crime in criminal history and this time he'll, not the crooks that he employs, end up taking all the marbles, $10,000,000.00 in jewelry.
Overly plotted robbery of Buenos Aires famous Teatro Colon Opera house with a bunch of crooks learning to sing the songs,and lines, of the opera La Travita. As you watch the movie it becomes evident that all the work in learning to sing opera music was all for nothing, or just comedy relief. Since they just rob the 2,580 opera fans of their jewelry with out as much as singing a note or being on the stage.
Back at his villa Ross runs into trouble with Leticla who suspects him of cheating on her when she sees him with the beautiful opera star of La Traviata,who's also involved in the robbery, and thinking that he's having an affair with her. The jealous Leticla almost wrecks the master plan, that Ross plans to put into motion, by throwing a fit and almost killing him with a kitchen full of plates and dishes that has him fleeing or his life. Meanwhile Back at the opera house the singing crooks are setting up the plan to put the entire audience to sleep just like they did to the audience watching the movie.
Ross has the band of crooks that he crossed back in Italy in his previous "perfect crime", who traveled to Argintina to get even with him, put on the heist as well in order to keep them, like Leticla, from killing him. In the end Ross pulls it off, the crime of the century,but ends up stiffing both the singing crooks and the crooks who he stiffed earlier in the movie. As he takes off with the millions in jewelry and the beautiful Leticla to his secret hiding place and also villa in Switzerland. The only hitch in Ross' "perfect crime" was when the overjoyed Leticla seeing Ross, come back home to her in his villa in Switzerland, happily swings open the door at his bird house where all of his expensive parrots and exotic birds end up flying free.
The movie "Criminal affair", or what it's sometimes called in Europe "Criminal Symphony" or "Seven men with one Brain", is only worth watching for the fact that Ann Margret is in it and has a lot of trouble keeping her clothes on all throughout the movie. Rozanno Brazzi tries to do an Orson Wells by writing directing and staring in the movie "Criminal Affair" but it won't be mistaken by anyone watching it for "Citizen Kane".