Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)
Dick Van Dyke: Caractacus Potts
Photos
Quotes
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Caracticus Potts : How was India?
Grandpa : India? I'll tell you something. I got up this morning and I shot an elephant in my pajamas.
Caracticus Potts , Grandpa , Jemima , Jeremy : How he ever got in my pajamas, I shall never know.
Grandpa : You've heard it before.
[they all laugh]
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Truly Scrumptious : [after Potts kisses her] Well, Mr. Potts!
Caracticus Potts : What's the matter?
Truly Scrumptious : Now you'll HAVE to marry me!
[they laugh as they head for the car]
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Caracticus Potts : Well, maybe my children like running wild in the street. Did that ever occur to you?
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Caracticus Potts : Truly! Heh, I'm sorry about the children. I hope they didn't embarrass you.
Truly Scrumptious : In what way?
Caracticus Potts : Why, that silly joke about us getting married. Well, you know what kids are like.
Truly Scrumptious : Oh, yes. I understand.
Caracticus Potts : I mean, I don't think they realize how ridiculous that would be.
Truly Scrumptious : Ridiculous?
Caracticus Potts : Well, yes. I mean, you live in that big house and... your father and the factory and all. It's... it's a different world, Truly.
Truly Scrumptious : You know, if I said something like that, you'd... you'd call me a snob.
Caracticus Potts : Well, look, I-I didn't mean...
Truly Scrumptious : Goodbye!
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Truly Scrumptious : Wh-what are you going to do?
Caracticus Potts : I'm going to carry you.
Truly Scrumptious : Oh... oh, dear. Must you?
Caracticus Potts : Well, unless you'd rather ride piggyback.
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Caracticus Potts : You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious.
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Caracticus Potts : What are they staring at?
Truly Scrumptious : I don't know. It seems to be the children.
Caracticus Potts : Well, what's the matter with them? Haven't they seen children before?
Truly Scrumptious : Haven't you noticed? There AREN'T any children. Not one.
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Caracticus Potts : Confounded woman! Who does she think she is? Coming in here and telling me how to raise my children! Do I need somebody to tell me how to raise my children? Do I? Hm? No, of course not. Of course not! Hm-hm. Where's my, uh, cardigan?
Jemima : Under your jacket.
Caracticus Potts : Under... Yes. Self-righteous busy body. Well, she won't be bothering us again.
Jemima : But I liked her.
Jeremy : So did I. She was very pretty.
Caracticus Potts : She certainly was. Do you think... Do you think your, uh, father's a... crackpot?
Jeremy : Your cardigan's inside out.
Caracticus Potts : Mm? Oh. Do you think I'm a lunatic, wasting my time on a lot of silly inventions?
Jemima : But they aren't silly! They're wonderful!
Jeremy : Nobody else can think of them.
Caracticus Potts : That's right! That is right! Nobody else can think of them.
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Caracticus Potts : Do you think Coggins might do a deal, so much a week?
Grandpa : Coggins? What, him down the road? Sure. He's so mean he wouldn't light your pipe if his house was on fire.
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Truly Scrumptious : [referring to helping the children] It's a beautiful dream Caractacus, but... I don't see how it's gonna help them.
[Truly looks at the children around them and Caractacus stands up]
Caracticus Potts : [confident] Do you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna get up into that castle!
Toymaker : [incredulous] It is impossible!
Caracticus Potts : [confident] Well, we'll see.
[Caractacus runs up to a large water channel and looks at the children watching]
Caracticus Potts : [loud and clear] Now, everybody listen to me! You wanna get out of here, don't you?
[the children cheer and Caractacus moves behind the water channel]
Caracticus Potts : [loud and clear] Tomorrow is Baron Bomburst's birthday, yes?
[the children boo with their thumbs down]
Caracticus Potts : [proud and confident] Well, we're gonna give him a birthday party he'll never forget!
[the children cheer and gather around as Caractacus makes the plan]
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Caracticus Potts : And so, after that, Vulgaria became a free country, and all the children laughed and played in the sunshine, and they were very, very happy. And Chitty flew high over the mountains back to England, everybody safe and sound, and...
Jemima : And Daddy and Truly were married.
Jeremy : And lived happily ever after.
Jemima : Yes!
Truly Scrumptious : Is that how this story ends?
Caracticus Potts : [pauses] It's getting late. We better get back.
[Caractacus gets out to restart the car]
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Truly Scrumptious : Don't you know where we're going?
Caracticus Potts : No, I don't but... Chitty does. I think we're in pretty good hands.
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Caracticus Potts : Thank you, children. All these wonderful things, they're very precious. But I'm afraid other people wouldn't appreciate them.
Jemima : Why not, Daddy?
Caracticus Potts : Because other people don't see things the way you do.
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Caracticus Potts : You know, more than that, I have succeeded.
Truly Scrumptious : I always knew you would.
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Truly Scrumptious : So dreams can come true.
Caracticus Potts : Yes, they can. Yes, they can. But you have to be practical, too.
Truly Scrumptious : What?
Caracticus Potts : You have to face the facts. A man has to see things as they really are. After all, a man with responsibilities can't walk around with his head in the clouds all the time. A man should keep his feet solidly on the ground. Oh, a man should have his dreams, but a man has to learn to put those dreams to some practical use; not just sit around and think about them all the time.
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Caracticus Potts : Don't waste your pucker on some all day sucker.
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Caracticus Potts : [singing] It's uncategorical, A fuel-burning oracle, A phantasmagorical machine
Truly Scrumptious : It's more than spectacular, To use the vernacular
Caracticus Potts : It's wizard
Truly Scrumptious : it's smashing!
Truly Scrumptious , Caracticus Potts : It's keen...
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Peter : Sir, have you come to help us?
[Catactacus walks over to him]
Peter : Are you going to take us out of here?
[Catactacus kneels in front of him]
Caracticus Potts : What's your name, son?
Peter : Peter, sir.
Caracticus Potts : [kindly] Well, Peter, you shouldn't be afraid.
[Truly, the Toymaker and the children listen with interest]
Caracticus Potts : [kindly] Even in a terrible place like this, because there's always hope. That's what I always tell my children when they're... afraid.
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Truly Scrumptious : Well! I've never been...
Caracticus Potts : Spoken to that way before? Well, maybe it's about time!
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Grandpa : Caractacus, please, my boy, listen. It's time you woke up. Now, when I was your age, I did a day's work for...
Caracticus Potts : -- a day's pay. Polishing the colonel's boots.
Grandpa : I was the smartest batman in the British army.
Caracticus Potts : You've been telling me.
Grandpa : When my brigadier went into action, the Fuzzy Wuzzies were so blinded by the shine on his boots, they couldn't see to fight.
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Caracticus Potts : Edison, you're a genius.
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Jemima : We've got sausage tarts.
Jeremy : And marmalade rolls.
Caracticus Potts : I'm afraid I got them a little mixed up.
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Caracticus Potts : You mean to tell me I invented something that actually works?
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Caracticus Potts : You know something else? The kids were right. There's nothing so ridiculous about the idea of getting married.
Truly Scrumptious : Well, whoever said there was?
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Truly Scrumptious : What's this gadget?
Caracticus Potts : Well, that's not quite right yet; but, eventually I hope to transmit moving pictures by wireless.
Truly Scrumptious : Oh really?
Caracticus Potts : Yes, really!
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Caracticus Potts : If you would be so good as to take yourself off in that fancy automobile of yours and go do good somewhere else.
Truly Scrumptious : Well, I've never been...
Caracticus Potts : Spoken that way before? Well, maybe it's about time!
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Caracticus Potts : [singing] There's something new on the scene.
Truly Scrumptious : That mouth full of cheer!
Caracticus Potts : That sweet without peer!
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Jeremy : What a funny noise it's making.
Caracticus Potts : It's talking to us. All engines talk.
Jeremy : What's it saying?
Caracticus Potts : It's saying: Chitty. Chitty, Chitty.
Jeremy , Caracticus Potts , Jemima : Chitty, Chitty, Chitty, Chitty, Chitty, Chitty, Chitty. Bang, Bang.
Caracticus Potts : Chitty, Chitty, Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang.
Jeremy , Caracticus Potts , Jemima : Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang. Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang. Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang.
Caracticus Potts : [singing] Chitty, bang, bang. Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang.
Jeremy , Caracticus Potts , Jemima : Chitty, bang, bang. Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang. Chitty, bang, bang. Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang. Oh, you, pretty Chitty, bang, bang. Chitty, Chitty, bang, bang, we love you...
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Caracticus Potts : It's more like a toot, really.
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Jemima : Tell us a story about pirates, daddy.
Caracticus Potts : A story about pirates, huh? Let me see...
Jeremy : [looking through his paper telescope] A boat! I can see a boat!
Caracticus Potts : [getting an idea] A boat? Did you say a boat? That isn't just any old boat out there.
Caracticus Potts : [Germanic accent] No - zat is ze pirate yacht of ze notorious Baron Bomburst!
Jemima , Jeremy : Baron Bomburst?
Caracticus Potts : You have never heard of Baron Bomburst? Ruler of Vulgaria? Ze most evil man in ze vorld!
Caracticus Potts : Ja! Und he has sailed all ze vay to England... because he has heard tell of a fantastic motorcar, built by zat brilliant inventor, Caractacus Potts!
Truly Scrumptious , Caracticus Potts , Jemima , Jeremy : Hooray!
Caracticus Potts : Yes hooray! Und, he has come to steal ze car, und take it back to Vulgaria with him...
[the story begins]
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Caracticus Potts : If women are going to drive motorcars around, they should learn to operate one correctly.
