- Lee Stegler: Okay, the secret word was Pilgrim. I, eh, I figured that out.
- Rick: What's the deal, Chiz?
- Chiz: We're going to send a man to the moon.
- Rick: You're kidding?
- Lee Stegler: A man?
- Chiz: One man all the way. It's called Pilgrim.
- Mickey Stegler: Listen, I just had an idea. Rather than coming back-and-forth here all the time, I'm just going to put a trailer right here, so that I can stay in there and wait for you and I can cook breakfast and coffee and everything.
- Lee Stegler: And everything?
- [Kiss]
- Lee Stegler: You know that thing is small, but if functions beautifully! You know, I'm gettin' the feel of it. It's very much like a good woman. Just like you.
- Lee Stegler: It was a little rough at first, but, after you get used to it, I'm really happy with it - the capsule - real secure.
- Mickey Stegler: I can tell.
- Lee Stegler: I guess you're not too happy, huh?
- Mickey Stegler: If you're happy, I'm happy. Just don't get too happy.
- Lee Stegler: The P.I.O. men down here say you've got a great image, honey.
- Mickey Stegler: Oh, don't you believe it. The American public will never forgive me for having a mother who was divorced and a father who drank too much and, dear, I'm a blonde and, believe me, blonde's have more fun.
- Lee Stegler: You're the - American dream.
- Mickey Stegler: Oh, brother.
- Chiz: All right, now, listen. A week before Pilgrim goes, we send up a shelter stocked with food, oxygen, all life support systems on the same type of bird. Everything's in here. There's systems, communications, trajectories and Dunc is my backup. Now, the shelter has a flashing beacon and a radar signal. And Surveyor will probably spot it too. Now, if I don't locate it with all that, I complete a figure eight around the moon, swing back, and reenter behind a beefed up heat shield. Now, three days later I'm getting stoned on a carrier as the band plays.
- Rick: Who thought it up? An LSD research team?
- Houston Captain Commander: [Opening lines] Apollo 3, Houston, do you read? Apollo 3, Houston, do you read?
- Ross Duellan: Apollo 3, this is Ross.
- Chiz: Ross, I've got a good orbit. Why don't you check your lights down there for malfunction.
- Ross Duellan: I know all about your mission, eh, Pilgrim. Scrub it.
- Houston Captain Commander: Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, SPS thrust on.
- Mickey Stegler: When you are afraid of something, it happens; the mere fact that you are afraid of it, makes it happen.
- Ross Duellan: Now, if you feel - that you can't work with us; then, I'll relieve you of the responsibility.
- Gus: You'll relieve me of the responsibility. How you go about that? Move a pen on your T.O. chart? Write a special order? How you go about it, Ross? How do you relieve me of it? Lee's my friend. How do you relieve me of that?
- Ross Duellan: Stop making friends.
- NASA Engineer: What's he doing?
- Gus: Every time he gets that Peter Pan rig on, he thinks he can fly.
- NASA Engineer: That's not smart.
- Gus: Lee, you know, there can only be one first man on the moon. You don't have a reason, now. You wouldn't be a martyr - just a possible suicide.
- Mickey Stegler: Lee, what happened to all the caution you promised me? What do you expect me to do? Smile?
- Lee Stegler: Yeah, you smile. You got that? Hmm? If it kills you - you just smile.
- [In anger]
- Lee Stegler: *Smile*!
- Lee Stegler: You'd be surprised what a space shot can do.
- Mickey Stegler: Move the world, I heard. Can you spend the night?
- Lee Stegler: Nah, not all night, no.
- Chiz: Lee's been keeping up a running commentary ever since insertion. They've been trying to get him to nap - he won't.
- Mickey Stegler: He never was much of a napper.
- Walter Larson: Hold it, hold it, just a minute, everybody. May I have your attention, please? Mission Control reports the Pilgrim has just landed successfully on the Moon.
- Chiz: Pilgrim. Pilgrim control. Do you read? Pilgrim. Pilgrim control. Do you read? Pilgrim. Pilgrim control. Do you read? Pilgrim. Pilgrim control. Do you read?