Fannie Brice: I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!
Fanny Brice: [looking in the mirror] Hello, gorgeous.
Fanny Brice: Where I come from, when two people... well, sort of love each other... oh, never mind.
Nick Arnstein: Well? What do they do when they "sort of love each other"?
Fanny Brice: Well, one of them says, "Why don't we get married?"
Nick Arnstein: Really?
Fanny Brice: Yeah, and sometimes it's even the man.
Nick Arnstein: So long, funny girl.
Fanny Brice: [singing] Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter.
Fanny Brice: "No law against waiting," I said, "people do it all the time." For once, I didn't say too much, I didn't say too little, I said just what I said and then walked.
Fanny Brice: You think beautiful girls are going to stay in style forever? I should say not! Any minute now they're going to be out! Finished! Then it'll be my turn!
Fanny Brice: No harm in waiting, I said, people do it everyday... For once, I didn't say too much, I said just enough, and then walked away!
Fanny Brice: You were wrong, Mrs. Strakosh.
Florenz Ziegfeld: Flo! Flo, quit yelling or your ulcer will flare up. That's funny coming from you, you gave me that ulcer!
Fanny Brice: [said with a thick Jewish accent to the prince during a comedic version of Swan Lake] Whaddya gonna do, shoot the schwanzs? These lovelies... my beautiful schwanz guyrls? What ah ya, dumb?