Col. Masters: War is a criminal enterprise. I fight it with criminals.

Capt. Douglas: ...How did the other English officers die?

Capt. Cyril Leech: Unexpectedly.

[Leech unexpected guns down a group of Bedouins]

Capt. Douglas: [startled but calm] What did you do that for?

Capt. Cyril Leech: I didn't like the tea.

British soldier: Sorry, sir. I didn't see the white flag.

2nd Lieutenant: Don't do it again.

Brig. Blore: Modern warfare has nothing whatsoever to do with the activities of Alexander the Great or Hannibal.

Col. Masters: It appears the Mujabra tribesmen have learned how to use the Brownie cameras I have supplied them with.

Col. Masters: Two men are going to stop Rommel. One of them is Adolf Hitler who cannot give him enough fuel, and the other is me, who's going to blow up the little he has.

Brig. Blore: [Revising for himself what Col. Masters had said earlier] Rommel's going to be defeated by two men. Adolph Hitler who can't give him enough fuel, and me, because I'm gonna blow up what little he has.

Brig. Blore: Oh, by the way, I'm sending a decoy group ahead of you. You know Masters' bunch?

Maj. Alan Watkins: Not those gangsters, sir?

Brig. Blore: Yes. They start off a day before you. Same route, same orders. If there's any trouble, let them catch it.

Capt. Douglas: [Pointing to figures on a wall map] Are those Rommel's positions, sir?

Col. Masters: No. Those are the positions of the Carthaginians in the year 215 B.C.

Capt. Cyril Leech: What's all this about?

Col. Masters: Brig. Blore is not very pleased with our record. He insists. We'll have to take him.

Capt. Cyril Leech: I'll take him.

Col. Masters: If he doesn't come back alive, we're out of business.

Capt. Cyril Leech: Hmph. You're out of business.

Col. Masters: You get well paid for these trips, don't you, Leech?

Capt. Cyril Leech: Not really.

Col. Masters: I'll give you a bonus if you get him back.

Capt. Cyril Leech: How much?

Col. Masters: Dead, nothing. Alive, 2,000 pounds.

Capt. Cyril Leech: [chuckles] You just bought yourself an Englishman.

Capt. Douglas: [Turns off jeep ignition after the driver turns left] I said we go to the right.

Capt. Cyril Leech: [from the back seat] That road was mined by the Italians a week ago. They don't put it all on the map.

Capt. Douglas: You play dirty, Capt. Leech.

Capt. Cyril Leech: The way to survive here is to watch, listen and say nothing. I play safe.

Capt. Cyril Leech: You want to forget the noble sentiments if you want to live.

Capt. Douglas: I'll manage.

Capt. Cyril Leech: Funny thing, survival.