The Swimmer (1968)

Janice Rule: Shirley Abbott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ned Merrill : I'm cold. What's the matter with that sun. There's no heat in it. Shirley, what happened?

  Shirley Abbott : What happened to what?

  Ned Merrill : Nothing's turned out - Nothing's turned out the way - I thought it would. When I was a kid, I - I used to believe in things. People seemed happier when I was a kid. People used to love each other. What happened?

  Shirley Abbott : You got tossed out of your golden playpen, that's what happened.

• Ned Merrill : We're all gonna die, Shirley. That doesn't make much sense, does it?

  Shirley Abbott : Sometimes it does. Sometimes at three o'clock in the morning.

• Shirley Abbott : Did you know I went to spy on you once in the lobby of the theater?

  Ned Merrill : [Surprised]  Spy on me?

  Shirley Abbott : It was a long time ago... You were meeting your family to take them to the ballet. I saw your daughters in their white gloves and patent-leather slippers, and that aging Vassar-girl wife of yours in her understated little suit. And you... there you were, shaking hands with people, smiling, saying hello. One hour before that you had been in bed with me. *I* put that smile on your face, you DAMNED HYPOCRITE!... Listen, Ned, I want you to get out of here now. Swim the pool, do whatever you have to do, but get out!

• Ned Merrill : Lucinda's waiting. The girls are home playing tennis. I'm swimming home.

  Shirley Abbott : [in concerned pity]  Oh, God.

• Ned Merrill : What did I do to you, Shirley? I'm sorry for whatever I did.

  Shirley Abbott : [Cynically]  You did the usual red-blooded married man thing. You took me out to lunch and gave me that lecture about the duties of a father and a husband. Oh, it's considered a classic by now, isn't it? Reprinted every year in the Reader's Digest?

  Ned Merrill : I don't remember.

  Shirley Abbott : It's the first really chic restaurant you took me to in New York. Right out in front of everyone who counts.

  Ned Merrill : You cried...

  Shirley Abbott : I also raised my voice.

  Ned Merrill : It tore me apart to see you crying.

  Shirley Abbott : [Tone getting angrier]  You chose that restaurant because you thought I wouldn't make a fuss in front of all those mink hats and snobbish waiters and stylish fags.

  Ned Merrill : [Protesting]  No. No.

  Shirley Abbott : Did you really think you could get rid of me in no more noise than the sound of finger bowls tinkling?

• Shirley Abbott : Would you mind telling me what the hell you're doing here?

  Ned Merrill : I'm swimming home.

  Shirley Abbott : You're what?

  Ned Merrill : Pool by pool, across the county.

  Shirley Abbott : Good Christ, Ned, will you ever grow up?

• Shirley Abbott : What's the matter with you? I'll get you a sweater.

  Ned Merrill : No!

  Shirley Abbott : You must be catching something.

  Ned Merrill : How can I swim in a sweater?

  Shirley Abbott : Listen, I'll drive you home.

  Ned Merrill : No! I've got to *swim* home.

  Shirley Abbott : For the love of God, why?

  Ned Merrill : I've just got to. I've got to.

  Shirley Abbott : I'll go get the car.

  Ned Merrill : No! I can't go in a car, it's impossible. How can I?

• Ned Merrill : [Reminiscing]  My mother gave me 25 cents for mowing the lawn around our house. Seems only a minute ago. I could smell the grass... It's so fast... People grow up, and then they... We're all gonna' die, Shirley. That doesn't make much sense, does it?

  Shirley Abbott : Sometimes it does... Sometimes at three o'clock in the morning.

• Shirley Abbott : Do you really think its that easy? Of course, everything's always been easy for you. Hasn't it? You could always get a cab in the rain, a woman into bed. God knows I was easy enough to get.

• Shirley Abbott : I lied! I lied all the time about loving it anywhere with you! You bored me to tears! With all your stories about your old deals and your old girls and your golf scores and your bloody war and bloody duty to your wife and kids. You bored me to tears! I was playing a scene with you.

  Ned Merrill : You loved it!

  Shirley Abbott : You met your match with me you Suburban stud! I was acting!

• Ned Merrill : We're running out o' Tabasco.

  Shirley Abbott : *We*? Aren't you a little confused this afternoon?

• Shirley Abbott : Listen, Ned, I want you to get out of here now. Swim the pool, do whatever you have to do, but get out.

• Ned Merrill : [leans down and kisses Shirley's feet, she kicks his face]  Now what did you do that for?

  Shirley Abbott : Keep away from me Ned, will you please?

  Ned Merrill : You must be crazy. Everybody's gone crazy today. I just came from the Biswangers. They snubbed me... everybody at their party snubbed me. They've even got my hot dog wagon.

• Shirley Abbott : [Sarcastically]  Well, how goes it in "Never-Never Land"?

  Ned Merrill : What?

  Shirley Abbott : Has the ideal, all-American family found happiness on the hill?

  Ned Merrill : [a bit confused]  The "hill"?

  Shirley Abbott : I heard a rumor that you'd changed your place of residence.

  Ned Merrill : Of course not. That's ridiculous!

  Shirley Abbott : Well, how is the President of the League of Women Voters?

  Ned Merrill : [Confused]  Who?

  Shirley Abbott : How is your wife?

  Ned Merrill : Oh, she's fine.

  Shirley Abbott : I've been away so long I haven't kept up with the news. I suppose by now all the waitresses in town must be certified non-venereal. Last I heard, that was your wife's latest project: physical checkups for food handlers.

  [laughs derisively] 

  Ned Merrill : [Defensively]  Lucinda's always done a lot of good in this town.

  Shirley Abbott : She just didn't do so good at home, did she?

• Shirley Abbott : [sunning by her backyard pool]  What are you doing here?

  Ned Merrill : What a great suit. New?

  Shirley Abbott : Last year's.

  Ned Merrill : I don't remember that suit.

  Shirley Abbott : You weren't around last year.

  Ned Merrill : God, you look sensational.

• Ned Merrill : I always kept it down in the playroom with where the ping pong table was. Remember?

  Shirley Abbott : I've never been to your house. Remember?

• Ned Merrill : God, I'm tired. Do you mind if I have a drink?

  Shirley Abbott : Alright.

  Ned Merrill : How 'bout you? You want a Bull Shot?

  Shirley Abbott : No, thank you.

  Ned Merrill : Oh, come on, now. You know you love the way I make them.

• Ned Merrill : What was the name of that play in Boston? I came up on a Saturday. Remember? You faked a slipped disc and your stand-by went out for the matinee. I cured your aching back, didn't I.

  Shirley Abbott : You bastard. Listen, Ned, I want you to get out of here now. I mean it!

• Shirley Abbott : I had a few comforts of my own. When you were on that train back to Connecticut, remember that groovy bellhop in my hotel? Absolutely primitive. No hang ups.

  Ned Merrill : You're lying.

  Shirley Abbott : You got in and called me from the station. I put the phone on a pillow between us so we both could listen. All that sniveling about your innocent wife and innocent children. We laughed so hard we stuffed the sheets in our mouths.

  Ned Merrill : You're lying.

  Shirley Abbott : You'll never know, will you.

• Ned Merrill : We made love together in this pool. And you loved it. Remember?

  Shirley Abbott : I lied.

  Ned Merrill : You loved it, Shirley. You loved it.

  [Ned starts taking off Shirley's swim suit] 

  Shirley Abbott : Ned don't.

  Ned Merrill : Please.

  Shirley Abbott : No!

  Ned Merrill : Baby, please.

  Shirley Abbott : No, Ned, don't. No. Stop it! Ned, don't! Ned, don't. No! Damn you, no!

• Ned Merrill : Shirley, let's go away for a coupla weeks. I read about a great old castle in Ireland. A real one, with a moat and a drawbridge. Some king built it. Hundreds of years ago. It's an inn now, with crazy old fourposters and... big, soft beds with canopies.

  Shirley Abbott : Ned, I want you to go away now.

  Ned Merrill : Will you come with me, Shirley?

  Shirley Abbott : Do you really think it's that easy?

  [She chuckles bitterly] 

  Shirley Abbott : Of course, everything's always been easy for you, hasn't it? You could always get a cab in the rain... a woman into bed. God knows I was easy enough to get.