Getting Straight (1970)

Elliott Gould: Harry Bailey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Edward Wilhunt : For those of you whose averages might drop considerably, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Mr. Bailey, I hear Vietnam is quite pleasant this time of year.

  Harry Bailey : No, not really Dr. Wilhunt. You see, it's the rainy season. And during the rainy season, we used to get these fantastic mudslides that would wash up all these shallow graves. So if you really want to enjoy yourself, I would go in the late summertime.

  Dr. Edward Wilhunt : [clearly annoyed by some laughter from the class]  I'll see you in my office at eleven o'clock. See if you can make it promptly at eleven.

• Harry Bailey : [to Vanderburg about the protesting students]  If you don't want them to think, you shouldn't have given them library cards.

• Judy Kramer : Harry, you lied to me. You told me you were gonna go to that free speech meeting!

  Harry Bailey : No, *you* lied to me. You told me there was gonna be free food.

  Judy Kramer : Harry, what happened? you used to be the great rebel! The great leader. What are you afraid of?

  Harry Bailey : Of being late for class.

  Judy Kramer : Harry, in a few months the entire military industrial complex is going to have us in concentration camps in Arizona!

  Harry Bailey : Hey, Judy, don't knock Arizona. It has the least incidence of lung cancer, homosexuality and crabs.

• Harry Bailey : [speaking of black rights]  Stop trying to join up, will you. You've gotta be better than we are.

  Ellis : We already are in certain areas.

  Harry Bailey : Yeah, I know. How come that's the only racial stereotype you never bother to deny?

• Lysander : [at a Masters degree "firing squad"]  So, it is undeniable, isn't it? You can't deny it. F. Scott Fitzgerald was a homosexual and it appears in his writing. Doesn't it? Doesn't it?

  Harry Bailey : [he realizes he is defeated and suddenly lashes out with an outburst of yelling]  It's gonna... it's gonna... *it's gonna be a surprise to Sheila Graham*!

  Lysander : [suddenly becoming afraid]  W-w-what?

  Harry Bailey : *I said it's gonna be a surprise to Zelda*!

• Garcia : [in a beginner's English class]  I didn't get that far in high school English. So... I was kind of shafted.

  Harry Bailey : What was that?

  Garcia : I... I was shafted.

  Harry Bailey : Very good, Garcia. Very good. First person of the verb "to be." "I was." That's very good, Garcia. Now, who can give me the "you" form of "to be" with the same sentence? Yes, you!

  Student : Well... you were shafted.

  Student #2 : Yeah, when they gave you this course!

  Harry Bailey : You, can you give me the third person form?

  Student #2 : She was shafted.

  [the class applauds] 

  Harry Bailey : Very good. So, as you see, "I was shafted." "You were shafted." "She was shafted." We all get shafted the same.

  Student : We never learned from *that* type of sentence in high school!

  Harry Bailey : Well, what do high school teachers know about fancy shafting?

• Sheila : [student to teacher]  Well, then in the meantime maybe you could suggest a book for me to do a report on. When I get to the library I see so many books and I get confused. I just wander for hours.

  Harry Bailey : [taken by her sex appeal]  Oh, sure.

  [he writes down the title of a book] 

  Sheila : [reading his recommendation]  "The Complete Unexpurgated Works of the Markeese de Sayd.

  Harry Bailey : No, no. It's the Marquis de Sade. You see, he was a Frenchman.

  Sheila : He was a pervert.

  Harry Bailey : You already know about him?

  Sheila : My high school English teacher already tried to turn me onto him.

• Nick Filbert : Harry, why do you want to be a teacher, man?

  Harry Bailey : Money, Nick. Money and power and little girls to molest. It's a great life!

• Jan : How can you be so cavalier? Did you see what was going on out there? It was ugly!

  Harry Bailey : No. That protest... was sexy.

  Jan : Sexy?

  Harry Bailey : Do you think you're the only one who got laid tonight?

• Harry Bailey : [pointing out a rioting student to the Dean]  Do you see that kid outside? Last week, he just wanted to get laid. Now he wants to kill somebody. You should have let him get laid!

• Vandenburg : Harry, I am not giving them this school.

  Harry Bailey : [exasperated]  They don't *want* your school. They just want a say in determining their future!

  Vandenburg : Then first let them learn to obey the law.

  Harry Bailey : First let them ask if your laws are just.

  Vandenburg : Do you think people should be allowed to decide for themselves whether a law is just? Why, that's anarchy! This nation was founded on law and order.

  Harry Bailey : [screaming]  *Bull shit*! This nation was born out of *disorder* and founded on freedom and the will of the people!

  Vandenburg : People... need guidance, Harry. Give them what they want today, and what'll they ask for next, tomorrow?

  Harry Bailey : [taking a deep breath mid-thought, yelling afterward]  I don't know. Maybe a 40-hr week? Maybe the vote for women? What difference does it make? Will you let go? *Let go*! Stop trying to hold back the hands of the clock! *It'll tear your arms out*!

• Harry Bailey : [bitterly and sarcastically to Ellis]  Yes, I really approve of your protest about letting the lab monkeys copulate before they are taken into vivisection. One of the burning issues of our times!

• Harry Bailey : We're sending those kids off to drop napalm on people. People like you, Alice and the kids. Defecating in the hallway of the Hilton Hotel. I don't only call it a tame gesture. I call it fantastic restraint.

• Harry Bailey : Woman? You're not a woman! You're just a guy with a hole in the middle!

• Harry Bailey : I'm going to be a teacher... and I'm going to teach the truth... to somebody.

• Student : Yeah, you know how much a teacher makes in this state?

  Harry Bailey : Yes, more than a secretary and less than a hooker... someplace in-between that.

• Nick Filbert : I mean, look, you know, if l did something wrong... Wow, l mean, l'm sorry.

  Harry Bailey : Jesus Christ! ln this whole horrible mess, can't l even have the luxury of hating you?

• [first lines] 

  Mrs. Stebbins : [milling among students in the busy and noisy bursars office as she collects papers]  Class fees. Parking permits. Locker rentals. Library fines. Over here and please have the right change. I'm not a bank.

  Mrs. Stebbins : [having just entered the office trying to hand her a slip of paper through the crowd]  Mrs. Stebbins. Mrs. Stebbins. It says "see you immediately".

  Mrs. Stebbins : [looking at the paper he handed to her]  I sent this weeks ago.

  Harry Bailey : [somewhat flustered in the commotion as he lies]  I know. I know. You see, I've been sick in bed for two days, but as soon as I got it, I raced right over.

  Mrs. Stebbins : [turning to look for his file]  Oh, well. Bailey. Harry. Bailey. Bailey. Harry Bailey. You owe this university one hundred and fifty-six dollars in tuition fees.

  Harry Bailey : I signed a note.

  Mrs. Stebbins : It was due last week.

  Harry Bailey : Well, I'll sign another one.

  Mrs. Stebbins : Oh no, you won't.

  Harry Bailey : [stumbling over his words]  No, look, look, in two weeks, I get my, my Masters, then I'll be able to get a teaching credential, I'll teach and I'll pay you back.

  Mrs. Stebbins : At the end of the week, that's all. No tuition, no credits, no grades, and no more classes.

  Harry Bailey : Well, look...

  Mrs. Stebbins : [just realizing his earlier comment]  Are you infectious?

  Harry Bailey : [stumbling over his words]  , I, I, just when I cough.

  Mrs. Stebbins : Don't cough.

  Harry Bailey : No, I won't, but you really have to...

  Mrs. Stebbins : [brushing him off as she walks away]  Well make sure.

• [last lines] 

  Jan : [yelling as he sees her through the crowd in the midst of the student riot]  Jan! Jan! I got it back! I got it back! I failed! I failed the Masters!

  Jan : How come?

  Harry Bailey : I didn't like it. I don't belong there.

  Harry Bailey : [after a long pause about her marriage proposal]  What about Dr. Greengrass?

  Jan : [smiling and laughing]  I told him "no".

  Harry Bailey : How come?

  Jan : [shrugging her shoulders]  I don't like him. I don't belong here.

  [They toss an apple between them as they move closer, Harry who eventually uses it to smash a window as they kiss while the riot continues around them]