Doris: Who gave you permission to read my panties?
Felix: Doris, you're a sexual Disneyland.
Doris: I may be a prostitute but I am NOT promiscuous!
Doris: [Heard off-screen in the soundtrack to CYCLE SLUTS] What are you doing? What's that for? What are you going to do with that? What's that THING? And what's that other thing? Where ya gonna put that? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold it. You can't do that.
Doris: No, not with both of 'em. You can't, I tell ya. You can't. Can you? Oh, maybe you can. My God, you could!
Doris: What about last night?
Felix: What ABOUT last night?
Doris: When we made love. Wasn't that good for you?
Felix: You've got your terminology confused, Doris. That was not making love.
Doris: Well, whatever it was it beat the hell out of drying the dishes!
Felix: What we did was to get a fast thrill.
Doris: No. One time is a fast thrill. Six times is making love.
Felix: I'm extremely sorry but I don't know the story to "The Sound Of Music".
Doris: Oh no, that's terrible.
Felix: You thought "The Sound Of Music" was terrible?
Doris: Four times I saw that terrible movie.
Felix: You must have really hated it.
Doris: I saw it with my friend Eleanor at the Loew's King now torn down. It was playing continuous, no intermission. Get it?
Felix: I don't think so.
Doris: Her bladder burst.
Doris: Hey, how come you and Miss Weyderhaus
[referring to Felix's pianist fiancee]
Doris: don't mess around?
Felix: I told you.
Doris: What? She's very fragile. She's fragile, right?
Felix: She's worried... she's worried about her hands. She doesn't want to hurt her hands.
Doris: She could wear boxing gloves.
Doris: [to Felix through the door] Swear! Swear that you are just a little fruit all alone in the hall.
Felix: Doris, you're a sexual Disneyland!