Girl in Filing Room: [after exposing her breasts to Simon] Did you know Lenin loved women with big breasts?

Elliot - Coxswain: [describing a large breasted woman who looks for Simon] Do you remember that... National Geographic you have in your back room?

Simon: [laughs] Yeah.

Elliot - Coxswain: Yeah, well this one is a white version of page 43.

Simon: How many kids *will* show, do you think?

Charlie: It's worth taking a look. I mean, a lot of kids'll show because of that strawberry statement.

Simon: What?

Charlie: The dean. He said our telling him we had an opinion is like telling him we like strawberries.

Simon: Oh, I love straw - I love strawberries!

Charlie: Oh, schmuck.

Simon: Strawberries? What's he got against strawberries?

Charlie: Must be their color.

Simon: [on the phone in jail] Dad, what do you mean "Simon Who?" Yeah. Good. How's mom? Good. Got arrested. Yeah, jail. Uh. Well, yes, well, uh, if, well, it has been growing for two months, I mean, it's gotta be longer, right? Well, some people have bad associations when they see long hair, and some have them when they see long Cadillacs. Oh, I solved my identity crisis. Yeah. Hey, lemme - I'll - I'll call you later, OK? Bye-bye.

Linda: You're not really serious about this.

Simon: I am, too.

Linda: The university is burning babies and killing men, and you're on the rowing team.

Simon: Rowing *crew*. Linda...

Linda: It's a waste. This strike is part of something real. That's better than being a rowing jock.

Simon: Now, look, most of the guys on the crew aren't jocks. I mean, uh, crew doesn't even have as many WASPs as it should have, according to the population percentage of WASPs in the nation.

Linda: Maybe it should be shut down.

Simon: Now, look, I mean they have uh, mustaches and everything.

Linda: Simon, if you wanna row a boat, row a boat.

Simon: Look, you don't understand what it's like. I mean it's, uh... it's erotic. I mean, you should try it. I mean it's a commitment. It's real.

Linda: It's not real. It's a game. The movement is real.

Simon: Linda...

Linda: What?

Simon: I am so incredibly confused.

Linda: So am I.

Linda: What are you doing?

Simon: I wanna feel... what it feels like to... *litter* from the back of a paddy wagon.

Linda: So how does it feel?

Simon: Nice. Not terrific, not fantastic, but... but nice.