David Mann: You can't beat me on the grade. You can't beat me on the grade!

David Mann: I'd like to report a truck driver who's been endangering my life.

Radio Interviewer: [discussing an amateur talent competition] So, what is it that you do, if I may ask?

Caller on Radio: I play meat.

Radio Interviewer: You play meat?

Caller on Radio: Yes, uh... meat. You know, beef, pork...

David Mann: [laughing] That's sick, man. That's sick.

David Mann: Come on you miserable fat-head, get that fat-ass truck outta my way!

David Mann: [David Mann mistakenly thinks that the man eating a sandwich in the cafe is the truck driver harassing him] Look, uh... I want you to cut it out.

Man in Cafe: [bites into sandwich, chewing] Wha?

David Mann: Just... just cut it out, okay?

Man in Cafe: [bites into sandwich again, chewing] Cut what out?

David Mann: Now come on, let's uh... let's not play games.

Man in Cafe: What the hell you talkin' about?

David Mann: I can call the police.

Man in Cafe: [stops eating, looks suprised] Police?

David Mann: You think that I won't? You're wrong, mister. I mean if you think you can just... just take that... that truck of yours and use it as a murder weapon and uh... killin' people on the highway... you're wrong! You got another thing comin'!

Man in Cafe: [shakes head, fed up] Man, you need help.

David Mann: [Mann slaps the sandwich out of his hand] Don't you tell me I need *help*!

Man in Cafe: [punches Mann in the stomach]

Cafe Owner: [piercing, nasal voice] Heeeeeey!

David Mann: Fill it with Ethel.

Gas Station Attendant: As long as Ethel doesn't mind.

David Mann: Don't... don't... don't sit on the hood. That hood will dent. I told the kids not to get on the hood! Just see if you can bounce it loose, and I'll... ah... just bounce it loose.

David Mann: There you are, right back in the jungle again.

David Mann: That truck driver's crazy, he's been trying to kill me, I mean it!

Bus Driver: Well, mister, if I was to vote on who's crazy around here, it'd be you.

David Mann: Well it's about time, Charlie!

David Mann: [after the truck smashes the phone booth] Lady, you have got to call the police!

Lady at Snakerama: With what? That's the only phone I got!

Lady at Snakerama: [after the truck begins destroying Sally's Snakearama] Why'd he do that? Why'd he break my cages?

David Mann: Do you have a men's room?

Cafe Owner: Yeah. Through the door, ON THE RIGHT! Down the hall. Take a left. Second door.

David Mann: How can he go so fast?

David Mann: Come on, car! COME ON, LET'S GO!

Cafe Owner: [as David Mann exits cafe restroom and enters dining area] Are you all right?

David Mann: Yeah, I'm fine.

Cafe Owner: What happened out there?

David Mann: Oh, just a slight complication.

Cafe Owner: Oh? Looked like a big complication to me!

[Cafe patrons laugh. Mann gives an irritated look]

Old Man: [after David Mann's car crashes into a fence] You all right, Mister?

David Mann: [meekly] Yeah. Yeah, except - Oh, my neck.

David Mann: Where's the summit? Please... please... COME OOOOON!

David Mann: [while talking on phone] No, that's *two* Ns!

David Mann: [Valiant hidden from passing trucker - camera slowly travels up hood to worn, weary David Mann] The highway's all yours Jack... I'm not budging for at least an hour. Maybe the police will pull you in by then... maybe they won't... but at least you'll be far away from me...

Lady at Snakerama: [to David Mann] Take a look at my snakes if you have time.

Lady at Snakerama: [after the truck smashes the cages] My snakes! I've gotta find my snakes!

[first lines]

[radio playing, driving down the road, approaches the truck]

[David coughs, coughs again]

David Mann: Talk about pollution.

Gas Station Attendant: Looks like you could use a new radiator hose.

David Mann: [muttering to himself] Yeah, where have I heard that before?

[to the attendant]

David Mann: I'll get one later, thanks.

Gas Station Attendant: You're the boss.

David Mann: Not in *my* house, I'm not.

David Mann: [When the truck lets him pass it] It's about time, Charlie!

David Mann: Great. I'm never goona make it to that appointment now!

David Mann: [Mann sarcastically imitating wife's voice] Well dear, did you have a nice trip?

[Mann responding]

David Mann: Uh, no, no... Just the... just the same old thing... o-boy, o-boy, o-boy...

Old Woman in Car: JEE-IMMM!