Jed: [eating a bowl of pasta] Whoever thought of spaghetti was a genius. He must have made a damn fortune.

Linda Moreno: Do you always gin up your women?

Jed: You're more than just a woman to me. You're like a shower of milk from heaven!

Sheriff Franciscus: I could put the next bullet between your eyes! But you're not gonna die that easy, punk!

Jed: Stupid goddamn female.

Sonny: I'm... I'm not a goddamn female!

Jed: What are you, a chipmunk?

Jed: That's one way you can tell the difference between a man and a woman. A man can spit, and a woman can't!