Fred "Weasel" Podowski: How'd we get into the sex-crime business anyway? My brother Saul, a plumber, makes twice as much money as I do and gets three weeks vacation, too.
Mari: The leaves are really beautiful.
Phyllis Stone: Yup, they're really starting to change. I guess winter's comin' on!
Mari: Yup, Hey, I changed this winter!
Phyllis Stone: What do you mean, you changed?
Mari: I mean, my breasts filled out!
Mari: I mean, they were nothing last summer!
Phyllis Stone: I didn't know you last summer!
Mari: Well, they have!
Phyllis Stone: Well, congratulations!
Krug Stillo: Listen to daddy. I want you to take the gun, and I want you to put it in your mouth, and I want you to turn around and blow your brains out. Blow your brains out. BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!
Fred "Weasel" Podowski: [tired, while chasing Phyllis] Oh, man. I gotta give up cigarettes!
Estelle Collingwood: Are you folks on vacation?
Krug Stillo: No, we're sort of, um, on a business trip.
Dr. John Collingwood: Well what sort of business are you in?
Fred "Weasel" Podowski: Plumbing.
Krug Stillo: Insurance.
Estelle Collingwood: Well, which is it?
Sadie: You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.
Krug Stillo: We don't wanna off someone first night out. I mean, it'd be a shame to get this floor all messed up with blood.
Fred "Weasel" Podowski: I wonder what the meanest, foulest, rottenest, woodsiest sex crime ever was? Hey, Krug, what do you think the sex crime of the century was?
Krug Stillo: Goddamn high-class, tight-ass freakos. All that goddamn silverware. Who do they think they are, anyway? People in China eat with sticks, and these freaks got 16 utensils for every pea on the plate.
Phyllis Stone: You stupid dyke!
Junior Stillo: If I was a frog, I'd have my own lily pad. I could sit there all day long, just 'Ribbit Ribbit'. I could do that man and nobody would bother me.
[Krug is trying to get his girlfriend to have sex with him]
Krug Stillo: Why don't you lay back and enjoy being inferior?
Krug Stillo: You must think we're stupid, right? No, we're not stupid. We might be horny old pigs, but we ain't stupid.
Newscaster: The daring daylight escape of the two convicted murderers, dope-pushers, and rapists cost the lives of two prison guards, and surprisingly, the life of a German Shepard. According to eye-witness reports, the animal, which was set after the two fleeing men, was kicked to death by a young animal-like woman who leaped from the get-away car. The alleged driver of the car was Junior Stillo. Junior Stillo is the illegitimate son of the leader of the two escapees, Krug Stillo, who was serving a life sentence for the 1966 triple-slaying of a priest and two nuns. Krug Stillo is reputed to have hooked his own son on heroin to control the youngster's life. The man is armed, and considered extremely dangerous. The second escaped convict is identified as Fred Weasel Podowski, who has a long police record for child molesting, peeping tom-ism, and assault with a deadly weapon. The three men were accompanied in their getaway by an unknown woman, who's described only as young, strong, and animal-like. Police believe the four may still be in the New York City area, but expect them to try to leave the state in the next 48 hours.
Sadie: Being in this house makes me wish I was a lady!
Fred "Weasel" Podowski: [to Estelle] I could make love to a looker like you with my hands tied behind my back.
Estelle Collingwood: If God had meant women to go around with their busts exposed, Mari Collingwood, he wouldn't have given us clothes!
Krug Stillo: Mari, she was a lot tougher than you, doc. She took a while to kill. She was really tough. We had a hard time with her, but you're just a pussy!
Krug Stillo: Leave Sadie alone, you little toad, or I'll bust your butt with a lily pad.
Fred "Weasel" Podowski: How's your back, baby?
Postman: [to dog] Hello, Cassie! Hiya, girl! Hello, there! Now, let's see.
[looks through mail]
Postman: Ah, it looks like Mari's getting cards from half the civilized world. Mari Collingwood. Mari Collingwood. Mari Collingwood. You'd think she's the only kid to reach the age of 17. Of course she is probably the prettiest piece I've ever seen.
Sheriff: How'd you like me to put my boot up your ass... sideways?