Monty: Try not to die like a dog.

Film director: Smile!

Michael Arnold Travis: For what? There's nothing to smile about!

Film director: You don't have to have a reason. Just do it.

Michael Arnold Travis: But there's nothing to smile about.

Professor Millar: What do you think is the most successful animal that's ever lived on this earth?

Michael Arnold Travis: The ant?

Professor Millar: The dinosaur. Uh, do you realize that the dinosaurs dominated this globe for 140 million years before they became extinct? Modern Man has been on this planet for only a fraction of just over 40,000 years and yet already he faces extinction. In fact, the species will be lucky to survive beyond the year 2010. Mankind has only one hope: science. Technology is a survival kit of the human race. Even the politicians realize this. What they don't, or won't realize is, that the technical solutions are already entirely within our power. The entire population of India could be rehoused on the moon within ten years. It's only a matter of learning to live in a new way.

Gloria Rowe: Remember the words of William Blake - "A sincere wish that anything is so, will make it so."

Alan Price: [talking about game of chess] If you don't take that castle soon, the National Trust will!

Monty: Beware of Mrs. Ball's treacle tart. There is many-a-fly that got stuck in that!

Alan Price: [Title song] If you've found the reason to live on,/and not to die,/you are a lucky man.

Mr. Duff: Always remember gentlemen, that you are a failure in catering if you don't know what to do with your leftovers.

Professor Millar: Michael, I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but you happen to belong to a very rare group of encephaloids.

Sir James Burgess: Professor Stewart was too far in advance of his time, but his name will live long. We will stand in silence, in grateful memory for fifteen seconds.

Michael Arnold Travis: [graffiti] Revolution is the opium of the intellectuals.

Gloria Rowe: The future is in your hands, Mr. Travis. Take it... now!

Crowd: [referring to an on-stage sex-act performance] Chocolate sandwich! Chocolate sandwich! Chocolate sandwich! Chocolate sandwich!

Michael Arnold Travis: Would you like some soup, sir?

Homeless person: No thanks, son. I don't take solids.

Michael Arnold Travis: [Chatting up factory girl] Do you realize this Nigerian coffee is being packed straight back to Nigeria?

Alan Price: Come on, Streaky, aggravate the gravel!

Sir James Burgess: [to secretary] Miss Hunter, two Valium and a barley wine for Professor Stewart.

Patricia: Daddy owns so much that he rarely misses anything.

Michael Arnold Travis: You're lucky. I've got to get there on my own.

Patricia: And where?

Michael Arnold Travis: Right to the top!

[pause. Then, pointing to a skycraper in the distance]

Michael Arnold Travis: How much a building like that is worth?

Patricia: The ground floor is £810,000 a year, it costed ten times that to build, and every three months its value increases by 20%.

Michael Arnold Travis: [Smiling patronizingly] How do you know?

Patricia: [With assurance] My father owns it.

Sir James Burgess: The dividing line between the House of Lords and Pentonville Jail is very, very thin.

Gloria Rowe: [to colleague] Travis - that's your man.

Michael Arnold Travis: Yes, but what's gonna happen to me? Will I come out the same as I went in?

Professor Millar: Not the same: better.

Professor Millar: Now, I would just like you to sign this release form.

Michael Arnold Travis: [reads from the form] "I hereby consent to lease the Millar Research Clinic all physical experimental rights in my body for one week for the sum of £100." Well, I'd like to help Professor Millar, but £150 is definitely my minimum price.

Professor Millar: Definitely? A figure like that is just beyond us.

Michael Arnold Travis: One hundred and fifty pounds... and I'm not going to argue about it.

Professor Millar: A hundred and thirty.

Michael Arnold Travis: A hundred and forty-five.

Professor Millar: A hundred and thirty-five.

Michael Arnold Travis: A hundred and forty.

Professor Millar: Done! Sign by the cross.

Patricia: Dickie. Ha-ha.

Duke of Belminster: Please, darling. Please.

Patricia: Dickie.

Duke of Belminster: But, you must.

Patricia: Oh, don't go on, Dickie.

Duke of Belminster: I've nev-never been very sure of myself. Not, until I found you.

Patricia: You drink too much.

Duke of Belminster: I know. You're my last chance.

Patricia: Oh, little Dickie.

Prison Governor: I've sensed the spark of idealism in you and I can move mountains, you know that, hmm. Oh, for a man like you, Travis. Michael, for a boy like you, you're still young! Everything is possible. The world is your oyster. I can see you stripped, building motorways. You have eyes like Steve McQueen. Did anyone ever tell you that?

Prison Warder: It may not be as easy as you think.

Michael Arnold Travis: What is it?

Patricia: Om. It means infinity or godhead.

Michael Arnold Travis: Are you a buddhist?

Patricia: All religion's are equally true.


Patricia: Breakfast!