Double Agent 73 (1974) User Reviews (20)

So bad, it's good.

[nick-1896 · 4/10 · 30 October 2007]

So hard to rate. I want to give it a low score for being one of the worst films I've seen in ages. But I want to give it a high score for being absolutely hilarious. I guess it all depends on how you take the genre. If you're a fan of grindhouse and low-budget exploitation flicks, look no further. If you don't get why people find bad movies good, maybe this isn't for you.

While I think Chesty's unfeasibly large breasts were somehow supposed to be titillating (excuse the pun), they're actually rather unfortunate. As the plot revolves entirely around her hauling them out at every opportunity, it's a bit like watching a car wreck. You want to look away, but can't. Her 'acting' is self conscious verging on just plain scared.

The cameraperson hoses their rig around zooming and panning with total disregard for their shadow. If they'd been able to afford a mic boom instead of badly overdubbing, I'm sure the camera would've caught that too.

The cutaways are absolutely classic. Found footage is spliced in with total disregard for what's around it. My favourite scene involves a car blowing up. If you look really closely, you might just notice it's not the car they were driving. Especially as it's a different colour. And make. And it's not in the same place…

In short, Double Agent 73 is pure genius. You couldn't make a movie this bad if you tried. And that's exactly what makes it so good.

Fascinatingly bad!

[gridoon2024 · 4/10 · 11 January 2009]

"Double Agent 73" is an amateurish and inept movie, yet there is an honesty about its amateurishness and ineptness: you get the feeling that the people involved didn't want to cheat you, they really did try to make an espionage / action movie, they just lacked the talent and budget required. Sure, you could complain all day long about the pointlessly long shots of, say, horse-racing, or the sped-up "car chase", or the lack of logic in the story, but you also have to give credit to the film's creativity: it's not every day you can see a punch with the breast replacing the fist, or death via ice cubes stuffed into the victim's mouth! Chesty Morgan gives a somewhat catatonic performance (she's no worse than anyone else in the cast, mind you), and there can be little argument that her breasts are unerotic (bigger is not always better), however she does have a pretty face and nice legs. (*1/2)

Doris and Chesty strike again but with lesser results

[Red-Barracuda · 4/10 · 14 August 2016]

Double Agent 73 is the second film exploitation auteur Doris Wishman made with Chesty Morgan, she of the 73-inch bust. The first being Deadly Weapons (1974). The fact that both movies were released in the same year is an early indication that Wishman didn't necessarily waste a lot of time making them and knocked both out very quickly. Consequently, both these films never remotely betray their low budget origins and are truthfully very amateurish throughout, with the camera-work in particular being of an especially terrible standard. Random objects being focused on is the order of the day here. So there's not a massive amount between both films I suppose but I would definitely opt for Deadly Weapons as being the better of the two, I think it has a better overall focus plus the idea of huge breasts being used as deadly weaponry was a more inspired idea than having them being receptacles for a hidden camera.

I guess you would have to describe this as a sexploitation spy film. It's about a secret agent played by Chesty who hunts down a gang of heroin traffickers. A secret camera is installed in one of her mammoth breasts in order to allow her to gather espionage evidence, unfortunately, if she does not complete her mission within a week the camera will self-destruct, killing her in the process. This story-line is more or less a framework to allow for a lot of scenes of Chesty exposing her huge hooters. Not really a bad idea in principle but it is oddly unerotic to be perfectly honest, which means that events in the story-line become more important. But it's all pretty limited stuff on that front, with the odd unexpected moment such as a bloody murder in a shower appearing out of nowhere to enliven events. But on the whole, this one is only interesting to an extent but certainly of curiosity value at least.

What the f#&@ !!!

[fiddler_on_the_roof · 4 March 2002]

The is definitely the stupidest (and funniest) film that I have ever seen! A movie about a butt ugly woman with a 73 inch bust with a camera implanted in her left boobie is definitely Oscar-worthy material. Just looking at Ms. Chesty makes my back hurt.

Rating a negative 57 out of 1000

Fully Functional Cheese

[gavin6942 · 5/10 · 11 July 2012]

Underworld drug king Toplar is flooding the market with low-grade heroin. Agent 99 gets a bit too close to the truth, but manages to gasp out a clue as to the identity of Toplar: he has a scar.

This film was made back to back with "Deadly Weapons", so it must be compared to that film. Has Chesty Morgan done better here? Maybe. Has Doris Wishman? I would say yes. While still a bad movie and full of cheese, this is probably a slight improvement on "Weapons"... although the story is a tad confusing for the first half.

The premise is also a bit hard to believe. They make no effort to explain how the camera is inserted, or where the lens is. We are not given adequate explanation on how Agent 73 finds the documents so fast or why the bad guys insist on catching her the moment she does...

Smile! You're on candid jugs-camera!

[Coventry · 1/10 · 30 October 2006]

Please don't pay too much attention too the extremely low 1/10 rating, as "Double Agent 73" is nevertheless recommended in a very culty kind of way, but I simply can't bring myself to donate a positive number to such an utter piece of amateurish trash! This isn't really a movie; this is a weird homage to two enormous and hideous bags of fat that are supposed to look like breasts. I can't possibly imagine that there are men (or women?) out there that get aroused by gigantic cup sizes like this, but this film as well as its predecessor "Deadly Weapons" was a modest cult-hit in the bizarre sexploitation-circuit of the early 1970's. Chesty Morgan is the worst excuse for an actress ever, but her breasts are like smörgåsbords for weirdies and she doesn't mind walking around with them exposed. She's supposed to be a brilliant undercover spy, assigned to clean up a network of low-quality heroine dealers. With a hi-tech camera implanted in her boobs (!), Chesty sleazes her way through the horny bad guys. This is quite an exceptional piece of distasteful cinema. Whatever is said or done, the camera ALWAYS zooms in on Chesty's chest (although the nipples are located somewhere in her waist-area)! It feels like director Doris Wishman, or any of the producers involved, don't even want you to care about the plot. The incompetence of this film is hilarious. Not only Chesty's acting is embarrassing, but also the rough editing, the dialogs and the handful of gory killings. I suppose this counts as one of those movies you have to see in order to believe, but if you don't have a particular weakness for low-grade cult, I'd say skip it.

Were these intended to be erotic?

[selfdestructo · 3/10 · 10 August 2022]

I can't help but compare this to Deadly Weapons, I mean in essence, it's a sequel, done by the same people in the same year. Somehow, I had much fonder memories of Deadly Weapons, with its inept campy charm. Plus it had Harry Reems, and the protagonist smothered bad guys to death with her enourmous breasts.

Double Agent 73 is just, well, inept. First of all, half the scenes are out of focus, or is at least focused on the wrong thing. That grew aggravating. And this "spy" story is sub-moronic. Chesty (er, Jane) gets her vacation called off for some cockamamie scheme. They implant a camera into one of her breasts, so that she can photograph all her kills... So she whips it out, and lifts it in every one of these scenes. Ya-hoo. BTW, Chesty Morgan is an attractive enough woman, with nice legs. On the other hand, she wears this horrible wig in both movies (it looks grey, making her appear like a busty/saggy elderly woman), and those gigantic breasts, highlighted and zoomed-in upon throughout the running time, are flat-out unappealing. Seems like Chesty was at least alive in the first movie, she looks positively LOST in this one, apparently not knowing what to do in any given scene.

The story goes, she's out to kill these drug dealers, take their photos, but her boss really wants one guy dead... A guy with a scar on his face (hence the photos). Cut to the red herring (sorry, Spoiler), this one guy is RIDICULOUSLY scarred, AND Doris Wishman zooms in on it every chance she gets! Oh man, the narrative. So full of distractions, sudden edits, and unexplained plot conveniences. Her friend shows up. Absolutely no context. As a matter of fact, Chesty promptly leaves, and in no short order, her friend is killed. Chesty stumbles upon some crucial evidence. How? You got me. But it does give her the opportunity to lift her boob repeatedly.

Frankly, I think I was as lost as Chesty on this one. I've gotta give it a few stars, though, based on sheer incompetence.

A Double Dose of Swinging Ineptitude

[Bogmeister · 1/10 · 3 September 2007]

MASTER PLAN: run a heroin ring, avoid the breasts. There's a special agent out there, this film tells us, who has mammoth breasts and can kill criminals rather effortlessly. She's sent in, taken away from her relaxing vacation, to break up a heroin ring. Her boss has a camera implanted in her...left breast, so she can take photos of her targets, usually after they're dead. The agency is looking for the criminal mastermind, who has a t-shaped scar on the right side of his face. Yes, there is an actual plot to this, but it proceeds at such a limp pace, I feel they should have concentrated more on meaningless sex scenes. In fact, when the two main characters get down and do it, the scene cuts just as they start, a baffling methodology of the director and editor for a supposed sex spoof. The filmmakers are more intent on letting the movie camera linger on those huge breasts, whether the character is speaking on the phone or whatever. The director also likes to concentrate shots on arbitrary objects in the scene, or a little dog on the grass, for no reason. This could be instructional for film students on how not to shoot and edit a film.

This is, of course, a continuing attempt to capitalize on the James Bond-type spy thriller, going all the way back to such female Bonds as "Modesty Blaise" and the similarly no-budget "Girl From S.I.N." Agent 73, as played by Chesty Morgan, does assassinate various characters, but she acts out the killings in such a lifeless manner, beyond just being casual, you get not so much as a chill as just a sense that the actress can't act worth a damn. She previously used her breasts in "Deadly Weapons," actually smothering people to death; here, it's more standard, like garroting someone with a cord, though there's one scene involving ice cubes which is different, if still dull. In the end - and here is the spoiler - she finds out who the master villain is and, with the usual lack of emotion, shoots him as he asks her to marry him; my only thought was, why would this guy want to marry this freakish zombie-lady? At this point, the film lost all credibility, ha-ha. Also, to get any enjoyment out of this movie, you have to be the type that really appreciates overweight women who keep swinging grotesquely pendulous breasts in your face, ad nauseum. Heroine:1 Villain:2 Femme Fatales:1 Henchmen:2 Fights:1 Stunts/Chases:1 Gadgets:0 Auto:1 Locations:1 Pace:1 overall:1

Tit for Tat

[NoDakTatum · 1/10 · 17 October 2023]

With a stage name like Chesty Morgan, of course you will make films like this. Chesty plays Jane, a secret agent who is investigating a drug ring that is flooding the U. S. with low grade heroin. Yeah, we Americans deserve the high grade heroin Canada gets! Anyway, a camera is implanted into Chesty's left breast and she photographs the men she kills so they can find Toplar, the evil villain who is only identified as having a scar on his face. Chesty is released into New York City to track down and find Toplar. She kills many men, photographs them, and the real Toplar is exposed.

Oh...my...God. The entire film is dubbed, badly. The camera kind of wanders around the set. Morgan's breasts look like two albino watermelons strapped to her chest. They are so huge they do not look erotic, just painful. When she takes her bra off, which is often, she must cradle them in one arm instead of just dropping them out of the bra cups for fear of dislocating her own shoulders. The funniest aspect of this film is the boob camera. In order to take the picture, she must mash her left boob. The viewer will hear the sound of a camera's shutter, and see a flashbulb go off. I was not aware they implanted a flashbulb, too, and I don't think I want to know where it is. The climax involves Chesty getting back to her superior's office before a certain time, or else the camera in her breast will explode, kind of like Snake Plissken in "Escape from New York," but with a middle-aged Polish woman in a pontoon bra. There is plenty of Chesty on display here. The first couple of nude scenes are kind of fun, but after that, you will be checking your watch and trying to remember what the running time was on this thing. The "action" scenes consist of poor stunt work, although Chesty does beat one guy into submission with her ample bosom- that alone was almost worth the price of rental. This film serves as a reminder of what a decorating nightmare the 1970's were. The houses they shot this in were probably really mod back then, now they serve to induce migraine headaches in unsuspecting viewers. Poor Chesty Morgan lead a tragic offscreen life, and I actually felt bad for her having to appear in this kind of dreck. Doris Wishman is a cult director, but with this, it is hard to imagine why. Even for fans of bad movies, "Double Agent 73" is one bad movie. I cannot recommend it.

Unbelievable! Must be seen to be believed!

[alanmora · 8/10 · 24 November 2006]

This is the "Queen of Exploitation", Doris Wishman's hilariously inept follow-up to her previous collaboration with the obscenely endowed Chesty Morgan ("Deadly Weapons"). Yes, she of the 73-inch breasts returns to the silver screen in this astonishingly cheap pseudo-sequel which is even more outrageous than it's predecessor. Here Chesty plays super agent Jane Tenay who is tailing a string of heroin pushers. A camera is planted in her bosom and she is instructed to photograph everyone that she eliminates, which she accomplishes by squeezing her mammoth mammories! Chock full of the typical Doris Wishman "trademarks" (close-ups of inanimate objects such as an ashtray, feet, or usually Chesty's massive cleavage) this flick was sampled in the John Waters comedy classic "Serial Mom"...it must be seen to be believed!

Amazing

[adriangr · 7/10 · 18 August 2018]

I don't really like porn films or "nudie-cuties", but I do like BAD films, and this really, really tops the lot - and that's saying something because I have seen a lot of trash in my life, but nothing has ever dropped as low as Doris Wishman's "Double Agent 73"

Chesty Morgan...what can I say? A cult name, a piece of cinema history, but a woman with no discernable talent above a mammoth sized pair of breasts. The whole film is a vehicle for Chesty, but sadly she can't act. In fact she seems incapable of walking in a straight line, sitting down, getting up, taking a shower or even opening a door without looking confused and/or apparently forgetting how to do it. This is actually a sequel to the first Wishman/Morgan epic, "Deadly Weapons", but the story and characters are not related, and this one is actually the sillier of the two because the plot here tries to set Chesty Morgan up as a special government agent, and with her lack of acting skills, the result is far more hilarious than the mousy character she played in the first film.

I won't (can't!) detail the plot, but basically, Chesty "plays" Jane Genet, a super-spy given the mission of tracking down members of a criminal gang. Her objective is to bump them off and photograph them with a camera she has hidden in her left boob. You'll be agape with horror at the many, many pointless shots of Chesty with her massive cleavage on display, or topless and with the full extent of her naked bust filling the screen over and over again. It only adds to the spectacle that Chesty isn't really that attractive (she's no spring chicken, but rather flabby around the tum and sporting a ludicrous "blonde-bombshell" wig), plus she's kitted out in the most hellish, frilly, spotty 1970's fashions ever seen, along with the giant clunky platform shoes that she can't seem to do without in every single scene. If you can stand to watch as the film hobbles though one disasterously staged scene after another, you'll be treated to Chesty killing a guy by rubbing her poisoned boobs in his face, flinging a deadly earring at another, blowing a lock by jabbing a lit match into a blob of colourful modelling clay, and much much more. But this isn't just bad film-making, this is way below what even an enthusiastic amatuer could produce. On a practical note, Wishman's total lack of talent makes the already wafer thin plot sink into incomprehensibility on several occasions, underneath the weight of so many cut corners and messed up shots. Note the following:

1. Doris Wishman can't shoot synch-sound, so she keeps her actor's faces off-screen as much as she can whenever a conversation is taking place. This results in most of the film's dialogue being played over endless shots of feet and shoes, hands holding telephones, backs of heads, walls, lamps, and close-up cleavage.

2. She also can't focus a camera and many, many shots are completely blurred.

3. She also can't edit, resulting in highly confusing leaps and jump-cuts that leave you totally bewildered.

4. Oh yes, and she also can't direct. And when Chesty can't act, the onscreen result is pure madness. Chesty can be clearly be seen looking for her cues, apparently being told what to do as she goes along. There were seemingly no rehearsals, as the actors continually move out of frame, resulting in the camera wobbling wildly to keep them in the frame.

Put all that together and this is a film of staggering poorness. If you can stand to watch all 75 minutes of it, give yourself a pat on the back. But if you're anything like me, you could be on comedy heaven at the amount of idiocy on display. In fact there were so many goofs and blunders on display that I ended up watching it twice to catch the ones I missed first time around. I bet not many people can say that. This would probably be a camp classic if poor Chesty Morgan seemed to be having fun making the film, but she doesn't. She stumbles around doing what shes been told, looking totally wretched and self conscious. Despite her top billed crowd-pulling assets, her unhappy countenance and lack of any discernible personality leaves her with zero sex-appeal and zero screen prescence. I hope she made some money out of this sorry experience, and I'd also like to thank her for her contribution to what have to be THE worst (and therefore among the funniest ) cult movies ever seen!

If you're a big time fan of Seventies sleaze you might enjoy 'Double Agent 73' a lot more than I did, but my response was a yawn and please pass me the Russ Meyer.

[Infofreak · 6 March 2004]

In a comment I wrote about Doris Wishman's 'Nude On The Moon' recently I described it as one of those cult "classics" that you only really watch just so you can say you've seen it. Well this is even more the case with 'Double Agent 73', a movie which is literally a chore to sit through. Despite having a running time of just over an hour and ten minutes I'd say it's still about twenty minutes too long. Wishman's freakish discovery Chesty Morgan plays super spy Jane Genet (hyuk, hyuk) a.k.a. Agent 73, cos she's got a 73 inch bust, see? Chesty can't act to save her life, and is seriously unsexy. I really don't see her appeal, and it's no real surprise that her career as an actress was short lived. The plot? Agent 73 is called in to help kill drug lord Toplar. She's given an address book with some leads but as no one knows what Toplar looks like she's told to photograph all the bad guys she kills, and they'll sort it out later. She does this via a camera surgically implanted in her left breast. Some of her methods of execution are also novel. My fave is death by ice cubes. If you're a big time fan of Seventies sleaze you might enjoy 'Double Agent 73' a lot more than I did, but my response was a yawn and please pass me the Russ Meyer.

Even worse than "Deadly Weapons"!

[Casey-52 · 9/10 · 21 April 2000]

Chesty Morgan will always hold a place in my heart, despite the fact that she can't act for crap and has the grossest set of breasts I've ever seen. I loved "Deadly Weapons" for all the wrong reasons and the "sequel" of sorts, "Double Agent 73" fares with me the same way.

Chesty plays a spy named Jane (?) who must rub out a villain and his henchmen. We never do find out what this villain does (drugs? slave trade? 70s clothes designer?), but his henchmen are some of the stupidest dolts to ever grace the screen. Chesty is in fine form, an even worse actress than before and her breasts have attained more scars, scales, and veins! There are more closeups of her breasts, which is just nauseating, and one of the poor villains has to suck on them! EEEEUUUWWW!

Chesty uses more interesting methods of dispatchment than before. Instead of just drugging the villains and smothering them with her breasts, she knocks men out with them, puts poison on them so the villains can suck on them (ugh!), strangles with telephone cord, mauls with broken bottle grounds, etc. And Chesty's best acting is when she's violently offing her targets! "Double Agent 73" is a lot of fun to watch, but it does hit boring spots. Anytime that Chesty isn't on screen, things slow down. More things to watch for: Chesty gets more dialogue when she's turned away from the camera than when she's facing it; Chesty's supposedly painful expression when she rips a bandage off her breast; more of Chesty looking at director Doris Wishman and into the camera; great scenes of Chesty snapping pictures of spies with a camera in her left breast (!); and the hilarious notion that the head of a spy syndicate would go out of his way to get Chesty, his "master spy", on a case! Check out this movie, it is of equal interest as "Deadly Weapons" and possibly moreso!

Unbelievable

[Wizard-8 · 4 May 2010]

I had heard this was an unbelievable movie before I actually watched it, but even that didn't prepare me for what I witnessed when I sat down to watch it. Where should I start? Well, I'll start with star Chesty Morgan. She is an extremely unlikely movie heroine. She's not very attractive, for one thing. Although she was in her 30s when she appeared in this movie, her face looks about 15 years older than her actual age. Then there are those gigantic... well, you know. I did not find the constant revealing of them to be erotic in any way. They look grotesque and unnatural.

The way that the movie was filmed just makes the experience even worse. It was obviously shot silently, and director Doris Wishman tries in vain to hide this by long periods of time with no talking. And when people do talk, most of the time it's shot in a way where you don't see the speaker's face and moving lips. Wishman also brings in next to no production values to the movie, resulting in such things as a hospital sequence shot in someone's house. But the biggest sin Wishman makes is that the movie is so boring. There's almost no plot, and even with just a 73 minute running time it goes on and on past the breaking point. This movie is a chore to sit through

She can't act, but who cares?

[scootrah · 9/10 · 22 January 1999]

Expect to be entertained by the ridiculous story, bad acting and HORRENDOUS costumes. Chesty gets caught in a web of intrigue and spy-jinks that require her to put her giant assets to work fighting crime. This movie will be enjoyed to its full extent by getting a group of your craziest friends together to laugh and give a running commentary on it.

What's a Poor Girl to Do?

[BaronBl00d · 28 April 2001]

Super spy Jane, sporting a 73 inch bust, a blonde wig, and some of the most outrageous outfits(outfits that would make Cher cringe), is hot on the trail of exposing a drug ring and capturing its drug czar. To do this, she must go undercover as a regular gal out for guys to buy her drinks and the like. That's right...she is suppose to be a normal girl just out at the club, zoo, or any old place. Not quite. She sticks out like a sore thumb!...well, okay, two sore thumbs! This film carries on the tradition of sleazy exploitation captured so nicely in Doris Wishman's and Chesty Morgan's first collaboration, Deadly Weapons. Actually, this film is a lot better. It has a bigger budget, some better acting(not much better), and a better story. Chesty still can't act. Her acting range goes from quietly disinterested to disinterested. She has no facial expression at all except for one scene where she pulls tape off of one of her breasts. Maybe Wishman wanted realism and used a real adhesive. This time around Chesty has to remove her blouse and bra to take secret pictures with the camera that has been implanted in one of her breasts. She takes many pictures. Big surprise. The big difference in this film, however, is that Wishman has some fairly brutal killings and shows a good bit of gore. She pays an obvious homage to Alfred Hitchcock and the Psycho shower scene. Also, for my money, the second best thing after Morgan(alright, the third best thing) is the music used in the film. What a great soundtrack...it was lively and funny. It was an action-type score played over and over that really made the action on the screen seem all the more farcial. Kudos to Ms. Wishman, Ms. Morgan, and company. Thanks for the mammaries...I mean memories!

Sexploitation Wishman Style

[Michael_Elliott · 19 March 2010]

Double Agent 73 (1974)

* (out of 4)

I guess the only thing you really need to know about star Chesty Morgan is that her measurements are 73FF-32-36. If you must know about the plot to this sexploitation pic then Chesty plays an undercover agent who is trying to clean out some mean heroin dealers. The plot twist here is that Chesty has a camera inserted into her boob so that she can squeeze them and take a picture of the people she's killing. Why that plot twist? So she can walk around topless of course. If you're looking for any type of quality then you've obviously never seen a film from exploitation master Wishman as anything good really isn't her cup of tea. There's no question that this is a horrid movie but it's somewhat like a car wreck because no matter how brutal or ugly it gets you still can't turn your head away. As for Chesty I guess it goes without saying that she's a horrible actress. For the life of me it seems like she's incredibly unhappy or confused about being in this movie as she looks as if she's in pain or perhaps drugged. Either way, her performance is pretty bad as are her dubbed lines (apparently her Polish accent was too rough). We're not here to see her act though as everyone is coming to see her 73FF friends and I must admit that they did nothing for me. I can't say I found them erotic, sexy or interesting. I just saw them as freaks in a freak show. The film appears to have been shot silent with all the voices added in post-production, which is something Wishman did quite often in her films. The low-budget nature of the film actually helps it as everything from the music score to the editing to the direction is pretty bad. This is pure exploitation so I'm sure people will enjoy sitting around with their friends and making fun of everything that's going on.

She's baaaa-aaaack!

[Vince-5 · 26 December 2001]

Doris Wishman followed up the immensely successful Deadly Weapons with this all-you-can-eat lunatic buffet. Ivan Toplar and his gang are flooding the market with bad smack. Who is the only secret agent with the stuff to bring down these slimebags? Burlesque grotesque Chesty Morgan, the girl who makes Candy Samples look like an ironing board! As Jane Genet, Agent 73, Chesty has her vacation at the nudist camp (!)--dig the hilarious cuts between literary-minded Chesty and a puppy--interrupted by this little assignment. So she puts on her red-and-black rhinestone-studded platforms and hits the streets, eliminating the bad guys and taking photos with a tiny spy camera (complete with flash) implanted in her humongous left breast. The deaths are violent, and the victim's last sights are shaky, blurred shots of Chesty's mountainous mammaries. What a way to go.

This violent, uproariously crazed excuse for Chesty to unsnap her bra and maul those monsters (FLASH-CLICK!) is like Deadly Weapons ratcheted to new heights of inanity (if such a thing could be possible). Who better to carry out a top-secret mission than the most conspicuous person in the world? And if her physical appearance weren't eliciting enough looks, the peroxide-wigged Miss Morgan's wardrobe is even frillier and sillier than before--the prime offender being a white-on-red polka-dotted number straight from Clarabelle's closet. Chesty's dubbed voice has a slightly harder edge this time around, but her acting has, thankfully, not improved. Her face is expressionless for ninety percent of the running time; occasionally she smiles, as if being ordered to at gunpoint, and Band-Aid removal brings a grimace of vague bewilderment that must be seen to be disbelieved. Though the dialogue is mostly in sync, Doris Wishman still indulges in her trademark cut-aways and obsessive close-ups of feet (giving us great views of the star's endless arsenal of platforms and spike heels). Then, in an unexpected "poetic" shot, backlit Chesty holds her ruffled robe aloft and whirls for no discernible reason. And of course, the car chase, where Chesty and her pursuer drive the legal limit as the film is sped up.

A third Chesty epic was planned but never made, since Wishman found the star unbearably difficult to work with. Even more unfortunate is the fact that, after working with Fellini, the Polish sight gag--I mean, STAR--never made another film, and has since completely disappeared (how could she hide?). Some say that Chesty (Lillian) is now living in Florida, but...who knows? O Chesty, where art thou?

has to be seen to be believed... and you might not believe what you see!!

[flying dutchman 1971 · 4 May 2000]

bad acting...poor camera work...bad continuity...god-awful polyester plaid flare pants...obvious wig..poor dub-overs. Having said that, this film is hilarious!! If only John Waters had been a consultant!!!

This film follows the story of an undercover detective named Jane, played (lethargically, as if she were a robot in the EPCOT hall of presidents) by Chesty Morgan. For her next assignment, it will be necessary for Jane to get photographs of important documents and enemy spies. A camera is implanted in her left breast, necessitating that she remove her bra to use it. (again, and again, and again) The camera has a self destruct device to ensure that the evidence gathered will not fall into the wrong hands.

With all of the talent and expressiveness of a quaalude junky and the fashion sense of Maude Finley, Chesty sets off and lands in one run-in after another with thugs, creeps, and low-lifes with only her wit and savvy to protect her. Will she make it back to home-base before the camera (and her only assets) destructs? Will she be able to settle down and finally enjoy the satisfaction of a loving relationship? Will she stop buying all her shoes at Frank-N-Furter's garage sales?

This film is one of those that would have been perfect for Mystery Science Theatre 3000. It has previously been in the series of 'Joe Bob Brigg's sleaziest movies of all time' collection.