Golden Needles (1974)

One of the more goofball artifacts of 70's martial arts action film nuttery.

A golden idol that serves as a model for special acupuncture needle placement is sought by all parties, both good and bad.

The lumbering, leaden anti-charm of Joe Don Baker, probably by now most famous for the awful "Mitchell" keenly eviscerated by MST3k, drains so much of the potential of what could have been a much more enjoyable "Mac Guffin with Kung Fu" fun fest.

Elizabeth Ashley does well in a somewhat one-dimensional role, much less thankless than all the Asian actors, who are either generic Baddies or Damsels-in-Distress (or ass-kicking Damsels).

Burgess Meredith seems to be having a lot of fun here, and fortunately livens up many of the scenes he has with Joe Don, Mister Anti-Charisma.

If they had just thrown in Scatman Crothers and Anthony Zerbe, you would have a Seventies jackpot.

The insane fight scene in the health club/gym or whatever it was, featuring a bunch of naked old guys taking a shower, boggles the mind, but hey, that were The Seventies, when anything that goes did.

And show me another film with both Ann Sothern and Jim Kelly in it. I don't think you'll find one.

Yes, if you haven't heard of this one, this is a ridiculous way to waste 90 minutes. But you will enjoy making fun of this.