Episode list

Hosted by George Carlin with musical guests Janis Ian and Billy Preston. Also features the Not Ready for Prime Time Players, a film by Albert Brooks, Jim Henson's Muppets, and appearances by comedians Valri Bromfield and Andy Kaufman.

The host for the episode is Paul Simon, and the musical guests are Randy Newman and Phoebe Snow. The skits for this episode are as follows: former Chicago Seven member Billy Rubin pitches graffiti wallpaper. The Bees are informed by Paul Simon that their skit has been cut from this week's show. Albert Brooks presents a film of failed Candid Camera-style stunts. A mock commercial demonstrates the strength of Try-Hard batteries in a head-to-head contest powering pacemakers. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase reports about President's Ford's car accident and Muhammad Ali's newest name change, while Marv Albert reports on a basketball game between Paul Simon and Connie Hawkins.Paul Simon performs "Still Crazy After All These Years," "Marie," "My Little Town," "American Tune," "Loves Me Like a Rock" (with Jesse Dixon), "The Boxer" (with Art Garfunkel), "Scarborough Fair" (with Art Garfunkel), and "Gone at Last" (with Phoebe Snow and Jesse Dixon). Randy Newman performs "Sail Away". Art Garfunkel performs "I Only Have Eyes for You". Phoebe Snow performs "No Regrets".

The host for the episode is Rob Reiner, but there is no musical guest. The skits for this episode are as follows: a man in a wheelchair inadvertently discovers he can walk, but is unable to repeat the miraculous feat. Rob Reiner performs a number of lounge-singer acts. The National Pancreas Association stresses the importance of taking good care of your pancreas. Rob Reiner, together with his wife Penny Marshall, honors some of the more popular fashion faux-pas. The Golden Needles voodoo acupuncture technique offers healing without surgery. Andy Kaufmann sings along with a record of Pop Goes the Weasel. In an interview with Squeaky Fromme, Fromme keeps trying to assassinate the interviewer, only to fail each time. Dance group The Lockers perform a comic dance. A man speaks out against defamation of droolers. An ad for a moving company promotes their skill at moving people from place to place, though not their belongings. A pair of nuns attempt to emcee their church's talent night. Albert Brooks presents a film about heart surgery. Gilda Radner recites a list of things she ate that day. Rob Reiner blows up at having his ending skit interrupted by the Bees, only to have his rant backfire. During the Weekend Update, Don Pardo is kidnapped and used by the kidnappers to announce their demands.

The host for the episode is Candice Bergen, and the musical guest is Esther Phillips. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford gives an accident-laden introduction to the show. Candice Bergen is interrupted during her monologue by one of the Bees. A commercial informs viewers of the opportunities for wealth by becoming an ambassador. A man demanding to see his CIA file is faced with a seemingly insurmountable pile of disarray. A special on intelligent animals profiles the dangerous land shark. A gay man has fond memories of dressing in his mother's clothes. Catherine Deneuve endorses Chanel perfume. Andy Kaufman's foreign man character attempts to entertain the audience, but bombs terribly. Albert Brooks presents previews of new shows for the coming TV season, including an over-dramatic medical series, a show about a frustrated man living with two women, and a Vietnam vet who becomes a veterinarian. A strange man makes a crank call to an airline and begins talking about torturing the receptionist. A reporter interviewing a third-world dictator keeps playing practical jokes on the leader. A talk show host interviews a controversial black author who is very obviously white. Two men discuss whether one should bring his girlfriend home for Thanksgiving while they play Pong. Esther Phillips performs "What a Difference a Day Makes" and "I Can Stand a Little Rain".

The host for the episode is Robert Klein, and the musical guests are ABBA and Loudon Wainwright III. The skits for this episode are as follows: Sherry wins the Miss America beauty pageant, but refuses to accept the honor. Two men discuss the results of their latest mid-term exam while playing Pong. One of the Bees delivers an inspirational message for the Bicentennial about moments in Bee history. An interviewer asks Greg Allman about his love life, but Allman keeps trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. Director Sam Peckinpah describes his vision to a new actress, steadily brutalizing her in the process. A parody ad for Jamitol features a husband and his exhausted wife. An exterminator, horrified at the prospect of killing, shows his partner a film about the history of cockroaches. Gilda Radner offers viewers a number of fire safety tips. A commercial offers viewers a way to save money when shopping with their own pricing gun. Emily Litella appears to pitch her new book. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase reports on President Ford bumping his head on a little girl, George Wallace's next run for president, and the execution of David and Julia Eisenhower. Robert Klein performs "I Can't Stop My Leg". Loudon Wainwright performs "Bicentennial" and "Unrequited to the Nth Degree". ABBA performs "S.O.S." and "Waterloo".

The host for the episode is Lily Tomlin, but there is no musical guest. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford attempts to speak to the American people while also answering the phones, and manages to hit his head and tumble over his desk. Beethoven, struggling to come up with a new symphony, creates "Tie a Yellow Ribbon," "My Girl" and "What'd I say?". The Land shark continues to prey on unsuspecting apartment dwellers, but just before the shark hunters can catch it, they are told to cut the skit short. A bellboy at the Atlanta Hotel is shocked to find a white woman and a black man staying together. Young Edith Ann talks about going ice skating with her dog. A commercial introduces Spud Beer for people whose electroshock therapy has rendered them senseless. Women starting work on a construction site take lessons in how to harass passing men. Patty Hearst receives a letter from one of her sorority sisters. A girl at a high school dance gossips with an unseen friend about their classmates. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase reports on CIA assassination attempts, Ronald Reagan's potential bid for the presidency, Franco's death, Eldridge Cleaver's return to America, and a new Peanuts character. Lily Tomlin performs "St. James Infirmary," "I Got You Babe" and "Bee Scat".

The host for the episode is Richard Pryor, and the musical guest is Gil Scott-Heron. The skits for this episode are as follows: Garrett Morris tricks Chevy Chase into taking a bad fall during a skit. Richard Pryor does an opening monologue about why he doesn't drink or take LSD. A man checks into a hotel managed by a samurai who speaks no English. A black author talks about his latest book in which he disguises himself as white. A woman tries to identify her attacker from a series of stacked line-ups. An interview for a job using word association turns racially tense. Two men discuss a hockey game while playing Pong. A father complaining that blacks are taking over is oblivious to the fact that his entire family has turned black. A major accidentally uses a piece of new equipment that was intended for emergencies. In a sequel to The Exorcist, Regan manages to push both priests over the edge. Albert Brooks tries to make another film while sick in bed. Richard Pryor witnesses a conspiracy theorist get gunned down just before announcing the truth about the JFK assassination. Shelly Pryor sings a song about carousel horses. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase comments on homosexuality in sports, Kissinger's accent, and Franco's continuing death. Emily Litella delivers an impassioned speech on busting children. Gil Scott-Heron performs "Johannesburg" and "A Lovely Day".

The host for the episode is Candice Bergen (her second appearance), and the musical guests are Martha Reeves and The Stylistics. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford delivers a special message for Christmas and falls out of a tree. An ad for a restaurant where customers can choose their cow, kill it and butcher it. A boy calls home from the police station to tell his parents he's killed 26 people. Candice Bergen invites people to send home movies to NBC, then shows her own movie of herself ice skating with the Bees. A young man comes out of the closet and admits to his family that he's an elf. A pair of strangers at a laundromat share a vicarious romance through their clothes. Two men discuss the prowess one of them has at pinball, while playing Pong. Gilda Radner lists off the things she ate at last year's Christmas. Margaret Kuhn delivers an inspirational message about growing old, and Gary Weiss presents a film about travelers returning home for the holidays. During the Weekend Update, Laraine Newman comments on the New Year's festivities, even though it's still a week early, while Chevy Chase reports from the wrong location and Emily Litella gets worked up over firing the handicapped. Martha Reeves performs "Higher & Higher" and "Silver Bells". The Stylistics perform "You Make Me Feel Brand New". Candice Bergen performs "Winter Wonderland".