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  • Leofwine_draca19 December 2015
    Warning: Spoilers
    Generally bad production values drag down the entertainment value in this production, an ultra-obscure flick and one of many to star a Bruce Lee impersonator (Bruce Li here, not to be confused with Dragon Lee, Bruce Le, Bruce Leong, or a dozen others) pretending to be Bruce Lee in a bid to fool reviewers and potential buyers alike. This is limp and insipid stuff for the most part, a modern-day thriller involving kidnapping, badly-dubbed thugs and some below average kung fu fighting with poor choreography. The main source of inspiration seems to be in ripping off the '60s television series THE GREEN HORNET, which of course starred Bruce Lee in the supporting role of Kato. Indeed the film begins with Li dressed up as Kato, for what reason is anybody's guess, other than to appeal to fans of the original series and make a quick buck.

    At around the hour mark this film takes a turn for the better but until then it takes a lot of sitting through. Extremely bad editing causes scenes to jump to each other with no rhyme nor reason and the director appears to be a talentless hack. There's a filmed car chase which has both vehicles driving at about twenty miles an hour which seems to go on forever and is the worst I've yet to see. This is quickly followed by a chase on foot which is really poorly staged and unexciting, other than a cool abseil-down-the-side-of-a-building shot which occurs for no other reason than pure entertainment value. A big problem is the crappy, almost non-existent synthesiser music which drags down the excitement level still further. Watch out for the amusing goof which sees two captives sitting blindfolded in the back of a car whilst Bruce battles it out with the villains. When he wins, he comes and unties their blindfolds - LOOK CLOSELY and you'll see that their hands weren't even tied up at all, so why were they just sitting there like idiots!? The only two moments of interest in the first hour are a hilarious psychological torture segment in which the film is stretched and goes wavy in a bid to convince us that the victim has become delusional, and there's minor excitement generated by a cat fight in which both women end up sitting in a running shower with their clothes torn and underwear exposed. The kung fu fights are passable but lack visual flair, at least until the "Supermen" of the title appear. The first time I heard of this film I thought perhaps these "Supermen" would be 'inspired' by the Italian film series of the same name, or if not then the Christopher Reeve film instead. Boy, was I mistaken. Turns out they're a bunch of laughing mimes (!) who attack our hero by chucking metal frisbees at him in one absolute laugh riot moment.

    Later Bruce chases after a car whilst pulling a handcart (and catches up to it!), and uses the same handcart in an unconvincing rescue attempt. The fights later on in the film get better as they become more bizarre, with villains donning red devil masks and plenty of athletic acrobatics to enjoy. When villains start getting kicked through windows at great speed the fun begins anew and things culminate in a pleasingly vicious fight, set in what looks like an old gravel pit. Here, Bruce Li faces the chief "Superman" - by now the others have rebelled due to personal reasons. The fight becomes pretty bloody with the villain using metal arm studs and a knife to rip and tear Bruce's flesh to bloody shreds before Bruce finally wins out in a blood-dripping final movie which will bring a tear to the male audience's eyes. Although Li isn't as skilled as the man he imitates, he proves worthwhile in the action stakes and performs some nifty nunchuck manoeuvres for the camera. The last half hour of this film puts it firmly into the so-bad-it's-incomprehensible category but that first hour is definite hard going. Pretty bad but still funny.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    WARNING: MAJOR PLOT SPOILERS!!! Urinating in the face of copyright laws the world over, Lee-alike Li first appears in the masked chauffeur Kato guise, fighting a group of toughs messing with his car. His next scene is as half of the Green Hornet duo (but red body stockings here, dig) alongside a scruffy European with a beard, who looks like a German tourist on a backpackers visa. They learn of a plan to end world hunger courtesy of the eminent scientist Dr Ting, who right at that moment is targeted for kidnapping by another organization of obligatory Euro villains. Li goes undercover as a Bruce Lee lookalike (complete with biker sunnies, long-sleeved red tee and black flares) teams up with his high-kicking buddy, just in time to witness Dr Ting and his daughter kidnapped by the Euro villains' henchmen. In the most protracted and pointless car chase on film - you pray they run over a stray dog for dramatic effect - Li and his nameless buddy thwart the napping. Just the opening line he needed to take out Ting's daughter for a date set to an excruciating Asian synth-pop song, where they wander around temples, share meat on a stick....

    Meanwhile, in what looks like a cheap Kowloon motel room, the villains call for the Green Hornets' nemesis: `Superman', a kung fu expert in a black suit with white beach towel for a cape, and his four similarly-suited and gravity-defying students in red monkey masks (the title `supermen'). This time Ting's kidnapping is successful and the `supermen' ambush the vengeful Li in a forest, leaping backwards from tree to tree in a miraculous display of film reversal, and in a surreal turn, appear maskless to reveal painted clown faces while screaming like skinned lemurs. This sets the scene for Li's final confrontation with Superman, a surprisingly well-shot (the cameraman sprints in and gets good'n'close into the action) and bloodied face-off. Li rips out the nunchukkas and tries a half-assed Bruce Lee cat cry before dumping the sticks and hammering in bare-fisted. Superman answers with a brutal pair of spiked wristbands that leaves Li grated like a carrot, but not before Li sticks a blade to Superman - right in the groin! Scruffy backpacker Green Hornet stops Ting's captors at the border, Li reappears (remarkably clean) in body stocking, and world hunger is a thing of the past. Beautiful.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    The Three Supermen series somehow has been remixed around the world, starting as an Italian superhero series, making its way to Turkey and now becoming a Hong Kong film also known as Bruce Lee Against Supermen.

    When a Chinese scientist learns how to accomplish the grindhouse alchemy of making food from petroleum - maybe learn how to make food from something that's less scarce than what you're replacing, this is like turning diamonds into gold - some criminals kidnap him, so Green Hornet gets called in. He politely declines and sends Kato (Bruce Li), who sticks around long enough to send Carter (also Bruce Li) who dresses like Game of Death Bruce Lee.

    Also, that's not Superman that Bruce Li, not Bruce lee fights, but the Italian Supermen, except only one is in it. Anyways, you have to love a movie that outright steals Emerson Lake and Palmer's "Karn Evil 9" for a car chase, because why not?

    Also, Bruce Li has a love scene with Kraftwerk's "Autobahn" playing.