6 February 2005 | BaronBl00d
Along Came a Space Spider
One of the truly bad science fiction films of all time. The Giant Spider Invasion tells the story of some kind of space rocks landing in Wisconsin and then opening up with spiders and diamonds inside. Some how a giant spider(bigger than a truck) is created. But that is the only giant spider. Director Bill Rebane does interesting work if not good work. Despite the many, many, many flaws of this film, Rebane make a film that, for me, was very watchable and entertaining. I do understand that most of my entertainment value came at the lack of competency behind the camera, virtually no special effects, a spider that looks and acts like a cheap machine moved by stage hands, the stoic, wooden acting, and the amazingly awful script. This is definitely one of those "so bad its good" films that can be little diamonds in the rough to film lovers like me. I knew things were going to be bad when the first scene we see with actors(after that pitiful space sequence)had Alan Hale the Skipper himself call another character "Little Buddy." From there on things got worse. Robert Easton plays this incredibly unsavory man in long johns half the time who lives near the place where the rocks landed. He has a very dysfunctional family with his wife and teen sister-in-law. The wife is a lush and Easton sees another woman on the side when not making overtures to his teen relation. Instead of calling this The Giant Spider Invasion(let's face it - one spider does not make an invasion!), maybe they should have titled it "The Redneck Hillbilly Vs. the Giant Spider" or some other like title. A pair of scientists have scenes throughout tracking the space anomalies and finally arriving in town. Barbara Hale (Della Street from Perry Mason) and Steve Brodie play them. These guys are there for a little credibility along with Alan Hale. They don't do too well. Ms. Hale does a fairly workmanlike job and Alan Hale actually isn't too terrible(though he looks way too jovial for being the sheriff of a town under attack). Brodie is ridiculous with his mock seriousness. One other interesting casting note is Christiane Schmidtmer, the lovely, blonde, buxom, Teutonic actress from such films as Ship of Fools. She has an inexplicable role(as well as thankless one) playing a waitress in town. If you are looking for thought-provoking sci-fi or suspenseful action, you won't find any traces here. The Giant Spider Invasion will only be appreciated by the patrons of le bad cinema.