Narrator: It is the middle of the Dark Ages. Ages darker than anyone had ever expected.
Dennis: I keep your potato.
King Bruno the Questionable: Guards... kill that man...
Dennis: Dennis is hiding in a shadowy alcove removing his nun disguise. As he is illuminated by torchlight he looks back over his shoulder...
Religious Fanatic #1: Look! It's a nun in the guise of the Devil!
Religious Fanatic #2: No! It's the Devil in the guise of a nun!
Religious Fanatic #3: Get her!
Religious Fanatic #4: Get him!
Religious Fanatic #5: GET THEM BOTH!
[he is pooping into the lake, and he does not seem embarrassed about it at all]
Mr. Fishfinger: Oh, hello Dennis! You've got garbage all over your vest. You really ought to look after your appearance, you know. Very bad for business.
1st Herald: As a reward for killing the monster, the king's champion will receive half the princess's hand and the entire kingdom in marriage.
[his assistant whispers in his ear]
1st Herald: Correction. It is, of course, it is, of course, the king's hand and half the princess's kingdom.
[his assistant whispers in his ear again]
1st Herald: Excuse me.
[he listens as his assistant whispers to him]
1st Herald: I've just received final confirmation of the final terms. It is, of course, the princess's hand and half the entire kingdom.
Mr. Cooper Senior: [on his deathbed] You're just a shallow, dull, pretentious...
Dennis Cooper: Father!
Mr. Cooper Senior: ...little stocktaker!
Dennis Cooper: Oh, father, you're delirious. You don't know what you're saying.
Mr. Cooper Senior: Oh yes, I do, you, you whimpering, snotty-nosed, cretinous oaf! I've wanted to say this for years.
Dennis Cooper: Father, we're not alone.
Mr. Cooper Senior: You're everything I despise!
Dennis Cooper: [to the other villagers gathered around the bed] Dad's raving, I'm afraid.
Villager: No, he's not.
Narrator: 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.