Master Sardu: Her mouth shall make an interesting urinal!

[torturing a girl on the rack]

Master Sardu: This will go far beyond every STRETCH of the imagination.

[after sawing a naked woman's hand off]

Master Sardu: Oh yes! Now we're getting the proper reaction.

Master Sardu: Well, how's our little patient today?

Natasha D'Natalie: I won't dance.

Master Sardu: Enough of that. Time to recoup your energy. Ralphus has made some chicken soup for you.

[feeding Natasha]

Master Sardu: There. He made it especially for you.

Natasha D'Natalie: Mmm.

Master Sardu: Delicious?

Ralphus: My mother taught me. I used the whole chicken. The secret is cooking it alive.

Tom Maverick: [while almost falling because he stepped on something] They shouldin't have stuff lying around, people could fall.

[picks up a severed head]

Tom Maverick: Ugh!

[drops the head]

Sergeant John Tucci: What's the matter Tom? Never got a little head before?

[Before opening night at the theatre]

Master Sardu: Ralphus, break a leg.

Ralphus: Whose, Master?

Ralphus: Is she dead, master?

Master Sardu: Not quite.

Ralphus: If she died, no new show.

Master Sardu: I know, idiot.

Natasha D'Natalie: This isn't S&M, this is Art!

[While playing a game with Ralphus]

Master Sardu: How often to I have to tell you, I'm brown, your white!

Master Sardu: Don't you dare ruin my dinner!

Human Dartboard: Ou, ohh, owww, uh-arrr!