Rubber Duck: You ever seen a duck that couldn't swim? Quack, quack!
Rubber Duck: Piss on you, and piss on your law.
Widow Woman: [kicking her overturned truck in disgust] This piece of white shit! I knew I should've bought myself a black truck!
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: [On the CB] Breaker one-nine, breaker one-nine. This is the bear in the air, officer Lyle Wallace calling Rubber Jerk in that rattlin' piece of black crap at your side door. Come on!
Rubber Duck: Please don't be using that kind of language on the air, Lyle. Especially don't be using it regarding my beautiful black truck. Over.
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: That thing you call a truck is the worst pile of garbage I ever had the misfortune of writing a citation on.
Rubber Duck: Here's the plan: When we get to the pass, we're gonna put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline® an' an extra ration o' rum for the men. That should do it.
Melissa: Well I think I've had just about enough of this, thank you very much. I'll think I'll take my things and GET OUT. If you'll pull over to the side, I'm sure I can hitch a ride very easily... Weren't you listening to me? I said I'm ready to get out!
Rubber Duck: You want out? We're being chased. You want out? Jump.
Melissa: You want to add the Mann Act to your collection?
Rubber Duck: Mann Act's for 18 year olds, not someone who's seen the better side of thirty!
Governer Jerry Haskins: A lonely breed... hard men, proud men... not too proud to cry or shed a tear. The living embodiment of the American cowboy tradition. Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to honor this great native American son who gave his life for a cause so vital to us all, like so many great Americans before him had. As you can see, these truckers are going to start passing, paying their respects to their lost comrade, the Rubber Duck, in their Macks, their Jimmies, K-Whoppers, Fruitliners, garbage trucks, dump trucks and even limousines... Truckers all! From the covered wagons and trains to the 18-wheelers that keep this country alive... This controlled individualism made this cause so vital that I promise to take it to Washington and present it to the Senate myself.
Officer Bookman: My name is Bob Bookman, sir, and I hate truckers.
Rubber Duck: [first and repeated line] Son of a bitch!
Rubber Duck: [to Lyle Wallace on the CB after he has crashed his car] Hey, until you get a little better control over that machinery, I'd suggest you lay off them acrobatics.
Big Nasty: [On the CB] Hallelujah! Looks like we've got some long-haired friends of Jesus back there.
Reverend Sloane: [On the CB] I don't read nothin' in scripture that says thou shall not put the pedal to the metal.
Rubber Duck: Welcome aboard there, Reverend. We could sure use some spiritual help here. Think you can handle it?
Reverend Sloane: It's a pleasure, our pleasure. We're just tryin' to do a good job, Brother Rubber.
Rubber Duck: [to Melissa] Brother Rubber? What is that guy's name? He ain't no Reverend.
Bobby 'Love Machine' 'Pig Pen': Boy, these lonely long highways sure grind the souls of us cowboys.