Hardware Wars (1978) User Reviews (36)

Very amusing.

[TOMNEL · 8/10 · 26 April 2007]

Out of all the parodies of Star Wars I've seen, this is probably the funniest. Not because of the premise, Star Wars with simple electronics instead of spaceships, but because of how poorly acted it is. This is purposely overacted, and it makes it hilarious, and since everyone knows its purposely overacted, no one complains. The special effects were also purposely as awful as can be, and include a toaster on a visible string that shoots toast, and an egg beater on a string. This short is funny for any fan of Star Wars (which I'm not), or anyone that has 15 minutes to kill. Great short!!

My rating: *** out of ****. 13 mins. Not rated.

Shoe String Movie Done Right

[rls0812 · 8/10 · 29 June 2011]

This movie had a whopping budget of only $8,000, and it shows.

The thing is, the director knew what he was doing, and made a very enjoyable movie.

Acting is corny, the set design came from a yard sale, and there is no real plot outside of spoofing Star Wars ... BUT it is an enjoyable movie to watch, and has a lot of humor.

It is hard not to chuckle at a guy wearing a welding hood, who's catch line is "Darth Nader, naughty person".

It is also interesting the movie is self aware, such as it's catch phrase "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss $3 good by"

Excellent example of a good movie, made with no budget!

As satires go, they don't get more solid than this.

[Mr-Fusion · 8/10 · 20 February 2012]

Nothing is sacred in Ernie Fosselius' "Hardware Wars", a 13-minute trailer that takes droll to a whole new level. And that's why it's still the best in the well-tread "Star Wars send-up" genre.

It's a film that demands not to be taken seriously, delighting in pointing out the clichés and plot holes of the original "Star Wars" and playing them up for maximum chuckles. With character names like Fluke Starbucker, Ham Salad (this one kills me), and Darph Nader, and a muppet standing in for Chewbacca, I don't see how anyone warm-blooded mammal can sit through this without a cheesy grin or at least a facepalm. And when you throw in the found objects that make for the film's "tech" (a basketball Death Star, flying toasters, tape recorders, and steam irons), the entire film is just one big visual gag.

"Hardware Wars" cries out audience participation, demanding to be seen with a large group. ... Complete with cinnamon buns on the head and waving around flashlights.

8/10

Must...stop...laughing...to write...comments...

[Funky A · 10/10 · 3 February 2000]

So funny is the perfect way to describe this 12 minutes spoof of the original Star Wars. Hardware Wars is incredibly funny. It is presented as the trailer of the space epic Hardware Wars. The joke is this: imagine Star Wars played by bad actors and incredibly bad special effects. The characters include the "intergalactic boy-wonder" Fluke Starbucker, the "ace mercenary and intergalactic wise guy" Ham Salad, Darph Nader, "villain" and a host of other fantastic characters. It is impossible not to laugh as you watch this 12 minutes treasure. It's stupid but it's fun. You will laugh from the start to the end, and you will feel the need to watch it again, and again, and again, and again... And you will laugh every time you see it!!!

10 out of 10. The funniest 12 minutes ever made. You will believe it lasted a minute!

You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, You'll Kiss Three Bucks Goodbye!

[PIST-OFF · 22 April 1999]

A perfect spoof of Star Wars. This 15 minute quickie is a hilarious short film made immediately after the first Star Wars. It is littered and loaded with tons of jokes. All are funny. And such memorable characters as Fluke Starbuker and Augie Ben Doggie. Those two should be in more movies. The new version with cheesy computer graphics kind of takes away from the low budget homemade feel of the original. I saw this when I was four and couldn't find anyone who had ever heard of it for 14 years. I began to think it was all a figment of my young mind's imagination when I saw it at a video store in Mokena ayear or two ago. Watched thousands of times since. I've also shown it to 40 or 50 people who had never heard of it. They all loved it. If you can find it watch it. And may the farce be with you.

The original Star Wars spoof, as cheezy and fun as Star Wars was revolutionary...

[NeoLeo · 10/10 · 21 October 2001]

Nothing is sacred. Just ask Ernie Fosselius. These days, everybody has a video camera, and a movie is hardly out before the spoofs start flying, quickly written and shot, and often posted directly to the internet. Spoofs are hot these days, and we go out of our way to make sure filmmakers don't get off on their own self-importance. 25 years ago, when the first Star Wars was made, it was a different world. Filmmaking was the playground of a select few and spoofs were very rare. Then God gave us Hardware Wars. It was shot to look cheap (or was it just cheap?) and the audio was obviously recorded after the fact. Does that take away from the experience? HECK NO! That's what makes it so great! It was raw and unpolished, and hit relentlessly on some of the more pretentious moments of the original movie. From Fluke Starbucker waving around a flashlight instead of a lightsaber (I did that when I was young!) to Chewchilla the Wookie Monster, to Auggie Ben Doggie's "nah, just a little headache" remark, this film short is as much a part of the phenomenon as any of the actual Star Wars films. Rent it. Buy it. Borrow it from a friend. And may the Farce be with you. Always.

Parody Master

[rpminfonet · 10/10 · 30 May 2002]

The hysterical Hardware Wars is finally out on DVD. HW has earned its niche among parody classics and is not only a riotous little 20 minute short but a staple in low budget film production classes, which is where a lot of the film's cult status is derived from and resides. With the DVD, not only do we get a chance to revisit the original parody (4Q2, Cinnamon-Bun Head, Ballistic Toast, et al) that Ernie F. did in 1978, but there is a lot of additional material showcasing the Fosselius wit. Antique Sideshow is a dead-on parody that is very funny but makes a statement about the confluence of ignorance and greed at the same time. The Director's Commentary is also hysterical, as is the Creature Feature which parodies taking a film out on the talk-show circuit and actually IS based on taking HW out on the talk show circuit, albeit the public access circuit. I'd love to see Ernie, Michael Wiese and crew take on some other, contemporary overblown and overbudgeted targets to parody -- like just about any film that Hollywood churns out at $100 million a pop these days -- not so much the crafty films like Spider Man or Men In Black (actually parodies themselves!) but any number of overblown, overhyped, overwrought and overpriced features.

If you do a parody, do it better.

[Phil_H · 4/10 · 25 November 1999]

Hardware Wars rips off EVERYTHING in Star Wars. But if you are planning on doing any parody, you need to do it just a bit better than this. Not that there is anything wrong, per se, with Hardware Wars, but if you spoof, do it well, or not at all.

Finally! My favorite SW spoof on DVD

[postonly · 9/10 · 25 April 2002]

I just got the DVD for Hardware Wars, in a shiny new package, looking irresistable. Stuck it in my DVD player to find a slew of extra fun stuff. The extra content on the DVD is even longer than the movie. For those of you that have (shame!) never seen Hardware Wars, it one fantastically silly Star Wars spoof (of Episode IV, of course). Household appliances (such as irons, toasters, vacuums, and a waffle maker) stand in for Ty-fighters, X-wings, R2D2, and the death star. Instead of Princess Leia, we have Princess Ann-Droid, complete with Cinnabon hairdo. You get the point, I'm sure. Mad silliness, and a fun ride for any Star Wars geek (like me!)

Now, the DVD - wow! A director's commentary where he basically goes off on the movie, making fun of himself and the project throughout. An interview with Fosselius on Creature Features (remember that?!) and hilarious "director's cut" and "foreign version" of the movie (all jokes of course). Anyway, this is great. I loved Hardware Wars in the theater, and am so glad for having the DVD in my collection - wedged in between MST3K: the movie and Thumb Wars!

Nobody understands Darth Vader

[Horst_In_Translation · 4/10 · 11 September 2015]

This is a recurring joke in "Hardware Wars", a "Star Wars" fan film made shortly after the original over 35 years ago. It was written and directed by Ernie Fosselius, a fairly successful sound artist, who made parodies on other films as well, such as "Apocalype Now". This 13-minute movie did not appeal to me much, then again I am not the biggest "Star Wars" fan, which may very well be the reason. The humour is action-based and dialogue-based, but rarely funny. There are references on "The Wizard of Oz" and "Sesame Street" in here too. All in all, I was not impressed by this little movie. Actually surprised to see it so appreciated and famous. I myself have no intention to watch it ever again. Thumbs down.

The funniest 15 minutes on video!

[indie19 · 16 August 1999]

I laughed. I cried because I was laughing so hard. The 10 bucks I spent on the video were well worth it, and I willingly kissed them good-bye. This is the only top-notch Star Wars parody out there. Although it is nothing near a full-length feature film, this is yet to be topped comedy wise. The wookie monster will always make me laugh. The only thing is, I wish they didn't add those pathetic new digital features. Don't get me wrong; they didn't take away from the movie at all. They really didn't dit in with the rest of the film though. New effects or not, this is a worth-while movie. 10 out of 10.

Hilarious

[aboyandhisblob · 10/10 · 20 May 2002]

Undoubtedly the funniest movie I have ever seen. It's definitely worth the fourteen minutes it takes to watch. I will never look at my kitchen appliances the same way again. Bob Knickerbocker deserves an Oscar. "Relax, kid. It's only a movie"

Best spent 14 minutes of my life.

[underpants_alert · 10/10 · 11 April 2002]

Fourteen of the funniest minutes on celluloid. This short parody is at least as much a part of the Star Wars saga as Phantom Menace, and far more entertaining, if you ask me. Hardware Wars was the first in a long line of SW spoofs which form their own subgenre these days. I hate to describe it too much-it's so short that the premise is just about the whole thing. Suffice it to say that many of the most popular and familiar aspects of Star Wars have fun poked at them. Household appliances such as toasters and vacuum cleaners portray spaceships and robots, the Princess Anne-Droid character wears actual bread rolls on her head instead of the famous coils of braided hair, and Fluke Starbucker is even more of a dork than his original, if that's possible. Ernie Fosselius is one crazy son-of-a-buck-he's also the source of Porklips Now, the Apocalypse Now spoof.

Much better than the title it spoofs! What does that tell you?

[RiffRaffMcKinley · 10/10 · 5 May 2007]

I haven't seen "Hardware Wars" in years, but I remember it as one of the most hilarious events of human experience, and it was over far too soon. Every aspect of this movie was hilarious, and it was even better than "Star Wars." I laughed. I cried. After watching it, I asked a family member for a moment with three dollars just so I could kiss it goodbye (I'm kidding about the last one). I love it when Ham Salad's sidekick/co-pilot tries to eat Princess Anne Droid's cinnamon hair buns, and the Darph Nader character is just hilarious! This film would be great to watch back-to-back with "Thumb Wars," and I sincerely wish there could have been a "Hardware Wars, Episode II: The Umpire Strikes Out." (Was there?)

A Hilarious Short-Film Parody of Star Wars

[kmeixner · 10/10 · 14 December 1999]

Hardware Wars is a hilarious, 12 minute short film parody of the original Star Wars movie which was released just a few months after Star Wars in 1977. This film uses household appliances as space ships and Star Wars look-a-like actors to send you rolling around on the floor in uncontrollable fits of laughter. This film has won many awards at film festivals and was the film which inspired Mel Brooks to write his Star Wars parody movie called "Spaceballs".

This is my favorite parody film and I recommend it to anyone who is familiar with Star Wars and has a good sense of humor.

Wowee Golly Gosh

[grambless · 3 February 2003]

The DVD has been released in the UK now- but you'll have to hunt for it. Although it may seem pricey for a short film, but there's bags of extras....and it saves you from buying any other guff. Furthermore, It's possibly one of the funniest flicks ever. Just buy it.

Amusingly goofy spoof

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 18 February 2010]

Done on a spare change budget of twenty bucks tops, this cheapie thirteen minute short cheerfully parodies George Lucas' legendary '77 sci-fi blockbuster "Star Wars" in the most infectiously dumb way imaginable. Writer/director Ernie Fosselius delivers a winning and often gut-busting blend of ludicrous sound effects, ineptly staged action scenes, cruddy (far from) special effects (you just gotta love the cheesy scratched-on-film lasers, tinfoil asteroids, and household appliances ... eer, I mean spaceships being swung around on obvious wires), badly dubbed in dialogue, shamelessly hammy acting, and Richard Wagner's rousing piece of classical music "Ride of the Valkyries." The characters are presented in suitably broad strokes; my favorites are whiny wimp Fluke Starbucker, venerable Jedi knight Auggie "Ben" Doggie, and hateful arch villain Darph Nader (who spouts nothing but incomprehensible gibberish). Moreover, 4-Q-3 is clearly based on the Tin Man from "The Wizard of Oz" while Artie Deco is definitely a cheap vacuum cleaner. This film's true masterstroke is casting legendary voice actor supreme Paul Frees as the narrator; Frees' deliciously rich and plummy histrionic tones add immensely to the considerable silly, yet sidesplitting tongue-in-cheek merriment (choice lines: "You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll kiss three bucks goodbye!"). A total hoot.

A Must for any Star Wars fan

[medrjel · 10/10 · 1 February 2002]

Talk about your classics! Ernie Fossilus (the Foss from here on out) came up with a cute and creative trailer totally spoofing Star Wars. This gem is so jammed packed with tributes and gags I laugh every time! Not only that, when Star Wars did a re-issue with new special effects, Hardware Wars did the same! Talk about a spoof that just won't die! There's a reason George Lucas calls this his favorite parody. He was so impressed, he even hired the Foss to work on "Return of the Jedi" (Don't believe me, check his entry in IMDb!)

This has to be the first, and in my opinion, the best parody ever done. I think the Special Edition was a bit overdone, but on reflection, I think it's PERFECT for the modern day re-release of Star Wars, and goes to prove that sometimes, it's wrong to mess with perfection.

Yes, it's only 10 minutes, but it's well worth your time.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss $3 goodbye! Well, maybe 15 for the DVD, but you'll be real happy you did.

I sense a hilarity in the force

[lee_eisenberg · 10/10 · 20 January 2019]

Mel Brooks's "Spaceballs" is the famous spoof of "Star Wars", but an earlier one was Ernie Fosselius's "Hardware Wars", deliberately made to look amateur. The weapons and spaceships are household items, and the C3PO-like robot even quotes Oliver Hardy's famous line!

You can tell that this is one movie that they had fun making. No budget, but 100% clever. You're sure to enjoy it. To put it another way, you'll never find a sillier hive of goofiness and parody.

I laughed. I cried. I kissed three bucks goodbye.

[Hey_Sweden · 8/10 · 6 September 2022]

"Hardware Wars" is a rather ingenious short film / coming attractions prevue that hilariously sends up "Star Wars", all on a meager $8,000 budget. (It's regarded as one of the most profitable of all time, considering that it made over $1,000,000.) It spins the yarn of wide-eyed farm boy Fluke Starbucker (Scott Mathews), macho spaceship pilot Ham Salad (Bob Knickerbocker), damsel-in-distress Princess Anne Droid (Cinthia Freeling), wise old Red Eye Knight Augie Ben Doggie (Jeff Hale), and the nefarious masked villain Darph Nader, whom you can't understand at all!

Complete with priceless special effects consisting of household appliances (ex. A toaster on a string), comic relief robots 4-Q-2 (Frank Robertson) and Artie Deco, and grandiose narration by none other than Paul Frees, this is worth a watch for any "Star Wars" fan, although at a mere 13 minutes and change, one may wish that it went on at least a bit longer. The cast is great because in entertainment such as this, the cheesier the performances the better. In fact, some people may consider "Hardware Wars" just as good as "Spaceballs" (which admittedly came along rather late in the game), if not better.

It was the brainchild of Ernie Fosselius, who in an interesting twist was recruited by "Star Wars" franchise sound designer Ben Burtt to provide the whimpering voice of the Rancor keeper in "Return of the Jedi"! And yes, Fosselius worked on "Spaceballs" as well.

"Hardware Wars" is such endearingly silly stuff that heartily invites you to laugh at its budget-conscious presentation. All in all, it's quite worth a small amount of your time.

Eight out of 10.

I laughed! I cried! I kissed 15 bucks(!)goodbye!

[steller · 7 July 2002]

After buying the excellent DVD yesterday, I have become a bona fide HARDWARE WARS fan! Done as a mock trailer for an unmade film, this obscenely low-budget and obscenely funny short is a film I wish I'd seen before, and I am embarassed that at one time, for about 2 hours, I couldn't stand it. If any of you has not seen HARDWARE WARS, I suggest you do immediatement!

James Teller

A brilliant little piece of satire

[majhiggins · 10/10 · 10 March 2011]

This short makes plainly clear that you don't need a huge budget or big stars to make brilliant humor. Star Wars has tons of clichés and plot holes that make it ripe for parody picking. Ernie Fosselius, with a shoestring budget cranked out this gem at the height of Star Wars mania. Compare it with Spaceballs. Mel Brooks' reputation got him cart blanch green lighting, a $22.7 million budget, and a cast of talented and funny stars as well as an army of the best comedy writers, including Brooks himself. Despite all that, he produced a true stinker! Spaceballs is below the sophistication level of a 12 year old boy, the jokes and gags are overly explained and overt. I'm a big fan of parodies and generally love Mel Brooks' films but that waste of my time couldn't get a single laugh from me. Perfect proof that money, talent and advertising do not equal good comedy. This short was made by a cast of amateurs with mostly 'found items' for props, for around $2000 and only takes 15 minutes to watch! It's 'off the cuff', 'don't take yourself too seriously' feel is a lot like Mystery Science Theater 3000. I laughed till I cried watching this and periodically re-watch it just for a pick me up. Find Hardware Wars on YouTube and see what real comedy is like.

my favorite movie

[RRU · 10/10 · 24 September 1999]

This ranks as my favorite movie of all time. It's the best spoof of a science fiction movie ever; the fact that it was a sendup of Star Wars just made it all the better.

I love slapstick. Think of this as the Marx brothers or the Three Stooges meet Star Wars. The writing is hilarious. The effects are a hoot. The free association that goes on guarantees all sorts of things coming out of left field. (I almost wet my pants when the Wookie Monster accosted the Princess.)

Space Balls was a much longer movie, but only had about 15 minutes of good material in it, and I felt sort of ripped off afterwards, like buying a burger that turned out to be mostly filler. Hardware Wars, despite being only about 15 minutes long, would be worth paying a feature price, IMO.

Dead on, uproariously funny "Star Wars" spoof

[preppy-3 · 10/10 · 19 August 2008]

I caught this little gem totally by accident back in 1980 or '81. I was at a revival theatre to see two old silly sci-fi movies. The theatre was packed full and (with no warning) they showed a bunch of sci-fi short spoofs (to get us in the mood). Most were somewhat amusing but THIS came on and, within seconds, the audience was in hysterics! The biggest laugh came when they showed "Princess Laia" having huge cinnamon buns instead of hair on her head. She looks at the camera, gives a grim smile and nods. That made it even funnier! You gotta see "Chewabacca" played by what looks like a Muppet! It was extremely silly and stupid...but I couldn't stop laughing. Most of the dialogue was drowned out because of all the laughter. Also if you know "Star Wars" pretty well it's even funnier--they deliberately poke fun at some of the dialogue. This REALLY works with an audience! A definite 10!

An absolute must for any SW fan.

[Jemiah · 10 December 1998]

Auggie Ben Doggie? Chewbacca as Cookie Monster, gnawing on the Princess' cinnamon-roll hairdo? Yes, all this and a flying toaster in "Hardware Wars", one of those rare gems they used to play between films on HBO in the early 80's. All the same, it's not as funny as "Pork Lips Now", an "Apocalypse Now" parody by the same team, which can be seen on the same tape if you go rent this at the video store. This kind of half-baked 70's lo-tech humour is sadly missed.....