17 July 2008 | lazarillo
Very Close Encounters of the 4th Kind
What to say about this movie? You could call it "camp" I guess, but true "camp" actually aims to be good, but fails in an especially entertaining manner. This movie doesn't aim to be anything more than crassest sexploitation--basically a dirt-cheap softcore porn parody of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"--still, it is unintentionally more entertaining than it ought to be (well, somewhat more entertaining anyway). Three nerdy losers decide to teach a lesson to their strict (but very sexy) female astronomy professor (Maria Baxa) by pretending to be aliens. (Perhaps it's not worth pointing out that astronomy professors are not especially predisposed to believing in aliens, and the "alien" costumes the three come up with--consisting mostly of scuba gear and a slide whistle to communicate--wouldn't fool a brain-damaged five year old let alone a college professor).
Anyway, the "aliens" convince the the professor and her equally sexy maid (Monica Zanchi) to undress and let them "probe" them. They convince them that a phallic protuberance on their head is an actual, uh, phallus--the obvious problem being that it's not. Oh well, the horny trio might not fully enjoy Monica Zanchi giving one guy's helmet a "hand-job" while being penetrated (off-screen) by another, but perhaps the perverts watching it back in the day did. (It's something I'VE personally never seen before at least). There's also a strange amount of homoeroticism--the three guys spend a lot of time naked and they all sleep together at one point. They do perform one honest-to-god "gang-bang" with a frustrated housewife (Marina D'Auno) who lives next door to the teacher, but otherwise you'd have serious doubts about their heterosexuality. The weirdest thing about the movie though is the "alien" music, which truly has to be heard to be believed.
Mostly though this movie is rather tame and silly like a British sex comedy of the era. That's why I was surprised to find it was directed by Italian sleazemeister Mario Garraziano ("The Eerie Midnight Horror Show", "Play Motel"). I've never seen the lead actress Maria Baxa before. Zanchi, however, is a familiar face (and butt and boobs. . .) from several of the Joe D'Amato/Laura Gemser "Emanuelle" films. She's a lot better in some of those movies, like "Sister Emanuelle" where she plays a VERY delinquent schoolgirl . Still, it's always nice to see her. Don't watch this movie if you don't like softcore Italian (or British) sex comedies in general (i.e. if you're NOT a sweaty, hairy-palmed troglodyte), but if you do, you could do a lot worse I suppose.