Doug: Ernie, you want a doughnut?

Ernie: I'd rather have the money instead!

Man with Cigars: [Puts his arm around Ramon who is a foot shorter than him] Well I like you. Tomorrow at noon, you may climb me.

Ernie: [laughing] Come on. He ain't that short.

Man with Cigars: Oh yeah? Well then how come he spent last month dangling from my car mirror?