Doing Time (1979)

Ken Jones: Ives

Quotes 

• Fletcher : You're not doing yourself any favours, are you Banyard? All you're doing is getting up other people's noses.

  Banyard : We have certain rights.

  Fletcher : No we don't, we're in the nick.

  Ives : I suppose you think you're entitled to something better just because you went to a public school, is that it?

  Banyard : On the contrary, Ives, I'm well used to this kind of food, I went to Harrow.

  Fletcher : Oh that's a good advert for the public school system, prepares you for the nick. Course it's harder in here for him than for most of us, 'cause he has had further to drop. Professional man, you see. Dentist. Tragic.

  Ives : What do you mean, Fletcher, 'tragic'? It's no laughing matter for that woman he had under the laughing gas.

  Banyard : There's no need for that, Ives. We don't have to keep unearthing each other's past, I'm paying for my peccadilloes.

  Fletcher : Oh that's good. If you're paying I'll have a large one.

  Bunny Warren : What's a peccadillo?

  Ives : It's a South African bird. Flies backwards to stop getting the sand in its eyes.

  Bunny Warren : No. No. I know what you mean though. It's an animal. Called the Armadildo.

  Banyard : The Armadildo.

  Fletcher : No, that was King Arthur's codpiece. I think that's what I'm eating an' all.

• Ives : I didn't know Samson and Delilah ate millet.