Lt. Werner: Captain?
Captain: I'm sorry.
Lt. Werner: You think it's hopeless now?
Captain: It's been 15 hours. He'll never do it. I'm sorry.
Lt. Werner: They made us all train for this day. "To be fearless and proud and alone. To need no one, just sacrifice. All for the Fatherland." Oh God, all just empty words. It's not the way they said it was, is it? I just want someone to be with. The only thing I feel is afraid.
Captain: They won't catch us this time! Not this time! They haven't spotted us! No, they're all snoring in their bunks! Or, you know what? They're drinking at the bar, celebrating our sinking! Not yet, my friends. Not yet!
[Werner takes pictures of the watch officers on the conning tower]
Captain: Take pictures of the crew returning, not putting out to sea.
Lt. Werner: Why?
Captain: They'll have grown beards by then. It would shame the Tommies to see mere boys give them Hell. Baby faces. Ones that should still suck mama's breast.
Captain: I feel ancient around these kids, like I'm on some Children's Crusade.
2nd Lieutenant: Mildew is good for you. It's the next best thing to fresh lettuce. Be thankful for what grows down here.
[Chief Bosun enters the torpedo room, which has been dressed up as a red light room]
Chief Bosun: QUIET IN THIS WHOREHOUSE!
[the crew falls silent]
Chief Bosun: Bad news, men.
Ario: What's wrong?
Chief Bosun: [pause] Schalke lost the game. 5-0. No more chance of making the semi-finals.
Ario: [throws a can at the bulkhead] I can't believe this shit!
Johann: Captain, I wish to apologize.
Captain: You can't just apologize, Johann. You left your battle station at a critical moment. Also, you disobeyed my command.
Johann: Will I be court-martialed?
Captain: How many patrols have you done?
Johann: It's my ninth.
Captain: Why you?
Johann: It was a mistake. I didn't... It was... It... All of a sudden... As if... It won't ever happen again, sir. You can depend on it. I swear.
Captain: It's all right, Johann.
Johann: No court-martial?
Captain: [nods] Get some sleep.
[Johann exits. The Captain adds "Decision, return to La Rochelle" to the log book]
[the crew has finished resupplying, so fresh food is everywhere]
Kriechbaum: Hey! Move this stuff now! Clear the map! I can't navigate on bananas!
Captain: Okay, men, now listen. We're going to blow out the water now and see if we can get our rear ends out of the sand. If we make it to the surface, things could still get pretty rough. Traffic's heavy up there. And we have to pray the engines start, so we can get out of this mess. The condition the boat is in, we have got to head straight for La Rochelle. If we make it... it's half a bottle of beer for each! There is one thing on our side; they won't be expecting us. Well men, all set?
The Crew: [in unison] Jawohl, Herr Kaleun!
[U-96 puts to sea among cheering crowds. Thomsen pulls up in his car]
Capt. Lt. Philipp Thomsen: Hail and victory and sink 'em all!
Captain: April fool. Practice makes perfect.
[the officers of U-96 enter the Weser's main cabin. The 1WO is the only one with his full dress uniform on]
Captain of the 'Weser': [to 1WO] Welcome aboard the Weser, Herr Kapitänleutnant.
[2WO stifles a laugh]
1st Lieutenant: No, not me. This is the Captain.
Captain of the 'Weser': [to the Captain] Ah. My apologies.
Captain: I'm sorry.
Lt. Werner: Is it hopeless?
Captain: It's been 15 hours. He's not going to pull it off. I'm sorry.
Lt. Werner: I asked for it. 'To be heading into the inexorable... where no mother will care for us... no woman crosses our path... where only reality reigns... with cruelty and grandeur.' I was drunk with those words. Well, this is reality.
Captain: Our patrol planes! Where are they? Answer that one, Herr Goering! The British have plenty of them! Talking big is all he's good for, that fat slob.
Captain: You have to have good men. Good men, all of them.
Kriechbaum: [to Werner] The Mediterranean. They're fools. It's perfect prospects for drowning.
Captain: [looking at one of the LI's pictures] Funny. I haven't seen snow in years.
Ullman: [writing a letter] Dearest Françoise, this is my fourteenth letter to you, but you have yet to see one.
2nd Lieutenant: The boat is rated to 90 metres, but of course we can go deeper. There's a limit somewhere. We can only take so much pressure... before the boat will be crushed.
Captain: Out boatswain's mate. Been on quite a bender tonight.
Captain: Not yet, Kameraden! Not yet!
[the Chief Bosun and Werner enter the petty officer's quarters]
Pilgrim: Morning, Lieutenant.
Chief Bosun: So, the petty officers sleep here. Twelve men. When one's on duty, the other sleeps in his stink.
[Pilgrim and Frenssen laugh]
Chief Bosun: Yeah. And here is your bunk. Just for you. Our guest.
Pilgrim: [gives Werner his pouncho] Here you go, Lieutenant.
Frenssen: [throws Werner an oxygen mask] Oh, this is your oxygen mask. Very important.
Pilgrim: Not much good except for calm seas.
Frenssen: It does come in handy when the diesel reaks.
[Chief Bosun and Pilgrim laugh]
Pilgrim: Or when Frenssen farts!
[Chief Bosun, Pilgrim, and Frenssen laugh harder while Werner has discomfort all over his face]
Captain: [entering the bar with Werner and the LI] Merkel's boys. They ship out tomorrow, too. Scared fuckers. They need sex as much as the infantry needs alcohol.
[U-96 is heading towards a nearby convoy contact]
Captain: [to Werner] More than 30 freighters! Berthold better not attack now. It's best to stay close and wait until the other boats arrive. For me, there is nothing finer than a submarine... and sailboats. There are no lines more beautiful than that of a sailboat. I sailed on a three-masted schooner once. Wonderful ship. Roomy. It had holds as big as churches!
[the Captain and Werner laugh]
[the sounds of torpedoes detonating and sinking ships has subsided]
Captain: Now it's their turn.
Capt. Lt. Philipp Thomsen: Alarm! Shit! Lousy eels.
Captain: [Captain looks at the birds overhead] Damn beasts!
[Discovers the watchman's yawning]
Captain: Nay Nay Nay
The Crew: Excuse me, Captain.
Captain: If you can't handle it, don't do it.
Captain: Were you part of it? Fireboat drill?
The Crew: [hesitate] Yes, captain.
Captain: [Smile] At least you can aim.
Chief Bosun: [after Lieutenant Werner gets a oily rag thrown in his face] Who did that?... WHO DID THAT?