James Bond: [Bond walks into a Greek Confessional Booth] Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Q: [Removing disguise] That's putting it mildly, 007!

Q: Your signal sent Whitehall into shock. So far, we have managed to locate 439 St. Cyril's in Greece. Heaven only knows to which one Kristatos took the ATAC.

James Bond: I know a well-informed person to contact about that, Q.

Bibi: Him? He thinks I'm still a virgin.

James Bond: Yes. Well, you get your clothes on... and I'll buy you an ice cream.

James Bond: The Chinese have a saying; "Before setting off on revenge, you first dig *two* graves"!

Melina: I don't expect you to understand, you're English, but I'm half Greek and Greek women like Elektra always avenge their loved ones!

[Blofeld dangles from a helicopter]

Blofeld: Put me down! Put me down!

James Bond: Oh, you want to get off?

[Bond drops Blofeld down a giant smokestack]

James Bond: You left this with Ferrara, I believe.

[kicks the car, making it fall from the mountain and therefore killing Locque]

James Bond: He had no head for heights.

Blofeld: I trust you had a pleasant "fright"!

James Bond: I love a drive in the country. Don't you...?

Blofeld: Mr Bond! We can do a deal! I'll buy you a delicatessen! In stainless steel!

[first lines]

Vicar: Mr. Bond, Mr. Bond. I'm so glad I caught you. Your office called. They're sending a helicopter to pick you up. Some sort of emergency.

James Bond: It usually is. Thank you.

James Bond: Courage is no match for an unfriendly shoe, Countess...

Bibi: That's a laugh. Everyone knows it builds up muscle tone.

James Bond: Well, how about you build up a little more muscle tone by putting on your clothes?

Bibi: Don't you like me?

James Bond: [wearily] Why, I think you're wonderful, Bibi... But I don't think your uncle Aris would approve.

Bibi: [scoffs] Him? He thinks I'm still a virgin.

James Bond: Yes, well...

[to Gen. Gogol, after throwing the ATAC system over a cliff]

James Bond: That's detente, comrade; *You* don't have it, *I* don't have it.

[Gen. Gogol laughs]

Melina: You know what I'd like?

James Bond: I can't imagine.

Melina: A moonlight swim.

Frederick Gray: [Calling on Bond's wristwatch phone] 007, are you there? Bond? Bond? Bond, are you there? Bond?

Melina: [to Bond] For your eyes only, darling.

[Melina drops her robe to the ground leaving her completely naked]

James Bond: [after the ski chase] I took the scenic route.

James Bond: [after mauling Bond with kisses] Don't you ever come up for air?

Bibi: That's why I'll win the gold medal. Breath control.

James Bond: Yes, well... you can't lose!

Columbo: You may need this.

[returns Bond's pistol to him]

Columbo: I'm a good judge of man. You have what the Greeks call "thrausos" - guts!

James Bond: [points his gun at Columbo] So have you, Mister Columbo.

James Bond: A nose, Q, not a banana.

[to Melinda, who drives the Citroën 2CV]

James Bond: Take the low road!

[Melinda steers to the right and the 2CV hits a curve and literally tips over, ending up on its roof]

James Bond: Not that low!

Blofeld: Think twice 007, it's a long way down.

[last lines]

The Prime Minister: [over the phone] Ah, Mr. Bond. I wanted to call you personnally and to say how pleased we all are that your mission was a success. Thank you.

Parrot: Thank you, thank you.

The Prime Minister: Don't thank me, Mr. Bond. Your courage and resourcefulness are a credit to the nation. Denis and I look forward to meeting you. Meanwhile, if there is anything I can do for you...

Parrot: Give us a kiss, give us a kiss.

The Prime Minister: Well, really, Mr. Bond.

Tanner: I think we're having a little trouble with the line, madam.

Frederick Gray: [to Q] You idiot. Get on to him.

Q: 007. 007.

Frederick Gray: Bond! Have you gone mad? What's going on? Bond. Bond! BOND!

Bibi: Farewell Mr. Bond, but not goodbye...

[Bond and Melina are to be keel-hauled]

Kristatos: [seeing Bond's injury] Bind that wound. We don't want any blood in the water.

Kristatos: [smirks] Not yet!

Melina: Murderer!

Kristatos: *You* have shot your last bolt, Miss Havelock!

Kristatos: [to his man] Oh, leave the legs free. They'll make appetizing *bait*.

Columbo: We are five men.

Melina: And a woman!

[to Blofeld]

James Bond: All right, keep your hair on!

James Bond: What did Columbo whisper to you at the restaurant?

Countess: That you were a spy, and to find out more about you.

James Bond: And have you?

Countess: Have I *ever*.

Tanner: You were supposed to question Gonzales, not let Miss Havelock perforate him!

James Bond: I quite agree, sir.

Frederick Gray: I'm afraid we have to inform the Prime Minister that Operation Undertow is dead in the water. Why... she'll have our guts for garters!

Kristatos: The odds favour standing *pat*...

James Bond: *If* you play the odds!

James Bond: Now, if we could identify that 'someone'...

Tanner: Why don't you try the identigraph?

Frederick Gray: Mmm!

James Bond: Yes, sir.

Tanner: Well get cracking, 007!

Frederick Gray: Mmm!

James Bond: [Bewildered] Minister...

James Bond: I'm afraid we're being out-horse-powered!

[Kristatos has just acquired the ATAC]

Erich Kriegler: I'll deliver it to my associates in Moscow and return with the money.

Kristatos: Huh! Like I trust you... the voice of the KGB. Our arrangement was that we meet at a place designated by ME! After they pay, I'll give the transmitter to them.

Kristatos: [to Apostis] It must not be let out of your sight, Apostis.

Erich Kriegler: Nor mine, Herr Kristatos! Where are we going?

Kristatos: We will take the ATAC to St. Cyril's.

Erich Kriegler: St. Cyril's? All right... I'll arrange the pickup.

Columbo: Cheers!

James Bond: Yasso!

James Bond: [after a shark swims past them] I hope he was dining alone!

Hector Gonzales: A Walther PPK. Standard issue. British Secret Service. License to kill - or, be killed. Take him away.

James Bond: Oh, by the way, we haven't been properly introduced, Melina. My name is Bond, James Bond.

Ferrara: Ferrara.

James Bond: Bond, James Bond.

Ferrara: Luigi.

Tanner: I think we're having a bit of trouble with the line, Madam...

Frederick Gray: My God Jack. How deep is the water there?

First Sea Lord: Not deep enough, I'm afraid!

James Bond: If I don't report in by tomorrow, not only will my people, but the entire Greek police, will come down on you like a load of bricks.

Columbo: By tomorrow, we'll be good friends. Let us drink to that.

James Bond: I'll wait until tomorrow.

Columbo: [after playing the recorded conversation of Kristatos and Bond] I'm here, Mr. Bond of the British Secret Service. But I'll tell you it is Kristatos you want, NOT me. He told you about himself. He's the one with the powerful connections. Locque works for him, not me. I smuggle, yes. I smuggle gold, diamonds, cigarettes, pistachio nuts... but no heroin.

Columbo: Sit down. That I leave to him. When he is not too busy working for Russia, against my country and yours.

James Bond: My country awarded him the King's Medal.

Columbo: Yes, I know. But other people died for it. During the fighting in Crete, he was a double agent. King's Medal. Ha. I would laugh if my heart was not so heavy about my poor Lisl.

James Bond: What does Kristatos gain by setting you up?

Columbo: Well, I know too much about him. He wants me out of the way. By using a British agent to do his dirty work for him, your government might give him another medal.

James Bond: Why should I believe you?

Columbo: I'll prove it to you tonight. We'll go together to his warehouse in Albania. Okay?

James Bond: If I don't report in by morning, not only my people, but the entire Greek police will be down on you Iike a load of bricks.

Columbo: Don't worry. By tomorrow, we'll be good friends. Let us drink to that.

James Bond: I'll wait till tomorrow.

Columbo: [Handing Bond back his gun] You may need this. I'm a good judge of men. Mr. Bond, you have what the Greeks call tha'ros. Guts.

James Bond: So have you, Mr. Columbo.

Columbo: Cheers.

Miss Moneypenny: James!

James Bond: Moneypenny, a feast for my eyes!

Miss Moneypenny: What about the rest of you?

James Bond: Well, I was going to get around to that.

Tanner: 007, try not to muck it up again.

James Bond: I'll do my best, sir.

James Bond: Don't they have showers at the ice rink? How did you get in here?

Bibi: [Gets into Bond's bed] One of the porter's is a fan. He'll do anything for me. And I'll do anything for you.

James Bond: Well, I'm exceedingly flattered, Bibi. But you're in training.

Bibi: That's a laugh. Everybody knows it builds up muscle tone.

Bibi: There's Eric Kriegler!

James Bond: The East German champion?

Bibi: Isn't he beautiful?

James Bond: You know something, Bibi, you're fickle.

Jacoba Brink: Bibi! It is time for your rub down.

Bibi: Oh, I could eat you up alive! Farewell, Mr. Bond. But, not goodbye.

Greek Casino Waiter: Apéritif, please?

James Bond: Ouzo for me, please.

James Bond: This may be an opportunity.

Kristatos: This may be a trap.

James Bond: If you play the odds.

James Bond: Allow me. May I drive you home?

Countess: No. Thank you. I'll take a taxi.

James Bond: No courage? Seriously, you may have a job finding one this time of night.

Countess: Well, you look like a gentleman. Why not?

James Bond: May I call on you tomorrow, Countess?

Countess: I'm a night person. I have champagne and oysters in the fridge. Why not come in for a bite?

Countess: [Raises her champagne glass] Cheers!

James Bond: Bottom's up.

Countess: Whoops! Me nighty's slipping.

James Bond: So is your accent, Countess. Manchester?

Countess: Close, Liverpool.

Melina: I didn't think it would end like this.

James Bond: We're not dead yet. Hold tight.

Bibi: I'm supposed to be skating - in Oslo - in Innsbruck. What are we doing in this creepy place?

Kristatos: Our plans have changed! We are going to live in Cuba for a few months.

Bibi: Cuba?

Kristatos: You can skate privately, without distractions. I will be your audience.

Bibi: What a drag that'll be. I want to win the gold medal!

Kristatos: We all want that!

Bibi: I know what you want - and you're too old for me. I'm splitting!

Parrot: ATAC to St. Cyril's. ATAC to St. Cyril's. ATAC to St. Cyril's.

Columbo: St. Cyril's, where we used to hide from the Germans. Only Kristatos would make an abandoned monastery his personal retreat.

James Bond: The Chinese have a saying: "When setting out on revenge, you first dig two graves".

Melina: I didn't expect you to understand, you're English. But I'm Half-Greek. And Greek Women, like Electra, always avenge their loved ones.

Bibi: You can go to Hell!

James Bond: [after the killer umbrella demo] Stinging in the rain?

Q: That's not funny, 007.