Gregory: Have you ever been in love? I'm in love.

Steve: Since when?

Gregory: This morning. I feel restless and dizzy. I bet I won't get any sleep tonight.

Steve: Sounds like indigestion.

Madeline: Hard work being in love, eh? Especially when you don't know which girl it is.

Gregory: Act your age. Go and break some windows. Demolish some phone boxes.

Headmaster: One problem area, the showers. What'll happen with the showers?

Phil Menzies: Oh, she'll bring her own soap.

Andy: Twelve tons of cornflakes pass under here every day. It's a well-known fact.

Carol: Can you drive?

Gregory: No, but it runs in the family.

[on Gregory's doorstep, after their first date]

Susan: At least you've stopped kissing me like I was your aunty.

[he kisses her again, then pretends to look horrified]

Gregory: What's my aunty going to say when I kiss her at Christmas?

Eric: In another million years, there'll be no men, no women. There'll just be people. Just a whole world full of wankers.

Carol: Christ, you're worse that my dad. He's old - at least he's got an excuse for being a prick!

Richard: All that fuss over a bit of tit.

[talking to Charlie about Gregory, after seeing him first with Carol, then Margo and finally Susan]

Andy: There's definitely something in the air tonight, Charlie. That's three women in a row he's had.

Madeline: Nicest part is just before you taste it. Your mouth goes all tingly. But that can't go on for ever.

Andy: Tits, bum, fanny; the lot.

Billy: If I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through a window.

Dorothy: Ah, parliamo italiano?

Gregory: No, not really. Just bella, bella.

Gordon: I want to find the real Dorothy. The one underneath the football shirt.

Charlie: That's not the way you spell 'Caracus' anyway

Andy: What?

Charlie: Caracas. It's c-a-s, not c-u-s.

Andy: We've been standing here for four hours! Why didn't you tell me?

Headmaster: Off you go, you small boys.

Dorothy: Men. Boys. What's the difference?

Gregory: Oh, that Dorothy... the hair, the teeth, and the smell.

Eric: One minute and fifty elephants.

Susan: Why are boys obsessed with numbers?