Pieces (1982)
** (out of 4)
Insane slasher from Spain has become one of the biggest cult films over the past few years and rightfully so because this turkey has everything camp is known for. A psychotic killer is stalking a college campus hacking up girls with a chainsaw so that he can complete a "jigsaw" puzzle out of the pieces. A detective (Christopher George), a tennis pro (Lynda Day George) and a student try and track down the killer before more bodies start to pile up.
Okay, this film is a complete and utter bomb that isn't worthy of any star ratings if you're going to judge it on actual merits but if you want to judge it on pure dumbness than this film is an instant classic. It's really hard to believe that so much stuff could go wrong with this picture but it actually does and the majority of the entertainment comes from the viewer being able to laugh at it. There are countless plot points that don't make any sense, countless dialogue written by a two-year-old and some of the dumbest police characters in any film I've seen. Also, what in the heck is up with Lynda's character being a tennis pro?
This leads to some of the greatest laughs in a big tennis match, which is so obviously fake that you'll be laughing your heads off. The acting as well is pretty bad and that includes Christopher George but thankfully his acting is "good enough", so to speak, to where you can enjoy watching him on screen. His wife on the other hand isn't as lucky as she delivers one of the worst moments in film history with her "bastard" scream, which is just downright hilarious. Jack Taylor, veteran of countless Jess Franco films, plays one of the suspects.
The film is very poorly made but that just adds to the charm. Not only do we get bad acting, bad directing and some really bad dialogue but we're also treated to plenty of nudity as well as countless gore scenes. Decapitations, guttings, stabbings and various other deaths are shown. Some of the effects are pretty good while others are incredibly bad. Fans of bad movies will certainly eat this one up but others should stay far, far away.
