2020 Texas Gladiators (1983) User Reviews (15)

Neo Nazis, Rapist, Guns, Murders and One Brown UPS Delivery Truck!

[tgs333 · 5/10 · 23 April 2005]

Yes you heard right! One UPS Delivery Truck ...full of neo Nazis led by the "black one" (or as I like to call him "the bald one").

After an "atomic war" was shattered civilization, rouge gangs of bikers, green mutants and one brown UPS Delivery truck full of neo Nazis aim to take over the world... well not exactly the world, just the state of Texas. It is a good thing Dubya hasn't seen this movie, or he might declare war on the UPS corporation for harboring neo Nazis terrorists in their delivery vans! This movie is simply unimaginable! How any of the actors kept a straight face during filming is beyond me! Most everything in the previous comments about this movie's plot is accurate and there isn't much I can add. The plot, if there is one, is void of anything - other than the countless rape scenes (that left me sick to my stomach), a lot of cheesy gun battles and the "black one's" sinister laugh is to die for! Even more funny is how the lowly Texians are trapped in their makeshift fort fending off a highly trained army...kinda reminded me of the Alamo Battle! And don't forget the brilliant portray of the American Indian, priceless ...or maybe not.

What is even more ironic about this movie is how violent it is! When I was 13 years old - I rented this movie! Yes - I walked into a video store and rented the movie with no questions asked! I recently obtained a copy of the movie off Ebay.com - simply to add to my collection of Cold War/End of the World movies.

I rate this movie a 5 out of 10 ...only because the UPS Delivery like truck full of neo Nazis and the "black one's" sinister laugh will have you laughing your butt off until doomsday does us all in!

A cowboy movie dressed up as a Mad Max movie

[BandSAboutMovies · 4/10 · 27 September 2018]

This movie starts with a long battle after the end of the world, bringing you in before there's even any story. Who even cares if there's a story? People are getting killed left and right! We have 5 heroes here -- who would assume are the Texas Gladiators. They are Nisus (Al Cliver, Endgame, Warriors of the Year 2072), Catch Dog (War Bus), Jab (Harrison Mueller, She), Red Wolfe (Hal Yamanouchi, Rat Eater King from 2019: After the Fall of New York) and Halakron (Peter Hooten, the original Dr. Strange!).

They have to save this monastery, but they just sit and watch as more people get attacked and a priest even gets crucified. What are they waiting for? And then Catch Dog tries to rape one of the survivors! You guys are the heroes? Well, at least they kick him out after that.

That girl ends up being Maida (Sabrina Siani, Oncron from Conquest!), who hooks up with Nisus. Years later, they're all settled down, the rest of the guys have gone their own way and Catch Dog has started an evil gang. Just like your friends from college.

Of course, Catch Dog's gang attacks the town where Nisus lives with his family. Surprisingly, they fight back the invaders, but then a vaguely Nazi army attacks and defeats our hero, shooting him across the forehead. Then the army kills and rapes everyone and everything, taking the town apart.

The leader of this army, Black One (Donald O'Brien, Dr. Butcher M.D. himself!) tells everyone that he's in charge. They then take Nisus and force him to watch his wife get raped. This movie has more violent sex than -- oh, Joe D'Amoto and George Eastman directed it? Yeah. It figures.

So what happens with our hero? He attacks one of the guys and gets shot a hundred times and dies. Is that the end of the movie? Nope.

Our old friends Halakron and Jab find Maida, who has been sold to a gambler, and Halakron wins her in a game of Russian Roulette. They all get busted for a bar fight, where they get tortured in salt mines. Luckily, Red Wolfe comes to save them.

Catch Dog's gang attacks, but our heroes fake their deaths. They also meet up with a gang of Native Americans. Jab has to defeat one of them in battle to get them to join with our heroes. Of course, he wins. He's Jab, bro.

Maida gets to kill Catch Dog, but Jab doesn't make it. He dies in his friend's arms because this is an Italian movie and even the heroes can die. Luckily, Halakron gets to kill Black One with a hatchet. So there's that.

Halkron, Red Wolfe and the Native Americans win the day, save everyone and then ride off into the sunset, because post-apocalyptic Italian movies are just spaghetti westerns with shoulder pads.

This one was written by our old friend George Eastman, who also helped Joe D'Amoto direct it. There are better post-apocalyptic films than this. But there are worse ones, too.

Not Worth Watching Any More

[damianphelps · 4/10 · 25 November 2020]

During my teen years I hooked right into those gritty B-grade trashy apocalyptic exploitation movies. The Bronx Warriors, The Exterminator and 2020 Texas...

At the time I loved all of them but as with all of them they have aged incredibly badly. So my ranking is for anyone watching this now.

2020 hits the points it needed to when it was made but lacks across the board now. Even when it was made my favourite part of the film was always the coverart!!

Not another "people must learn to survive in a post holocaust"-type science-fiction thriller!

[ChoiBaby · 1 May 1999]

In a world where government has deteriorated...laws are unbinding...and cruel savages rule the wastelands, comes a new heroic breed... The "Rangers," a team comprising of disciplined, dedicated, and laconic mercenaries are on a mission...to exterminate the evils that roam in the post-nuclear world. Led by "Nisus" (Al Cliver), the roster includes "Halakron," (Peter Hooten), "Catch Dog," (Daniel Stephen), and "Red Wolfe" (Al Yamanouchi). When the going gets tough...these guys slice it up!

The future is forsaken...all hope is lost and innocent lives are in despair. The asperity of the aftermath of World War III (or the *Atomic War*) has taken its toll on the human population... However, the remnants of the surviving human race must learn to rebuild their civilization and live in harmony...but too many obstacles and detours stand in their way...

However, an onerous dictatorship led by the Black One (Donald O'Brien) has seized control of everything: nuclear weapons, various resources, and especially human lives to utilize as slave labor. It is now up to the Rangers to help assist the wonderfully sexy Maida (Sabrina Siani) to discomfit the Black One's plans for rebuilding a tyrannical society... A rebellion must be instigated in order to revolt the New World Order or whatever...

2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS (the original title is ANNO 2020 - I GLADIATORI DEL FUTURO) is one of those movies that never ceases to amuse me! The melodramatic moments are sometimes sickening yet I enjoyed the perfunctory thrills and dramatic scenes which both serve to keep genre fans satiated. Directed by none other than the late, notorious Joe D'Amato (whose real name happens to be Aristide Massaccesi, but in this production, he also goes by the pseudonym Kevin Mancuso), 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS is highly derivative. Virtually ideas and motifs from every other film in this particular sci-fi genre are stolen, cut-and-pasted into this drivel. Unfortunately, 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS lacks the poignancy, the strength, intelligence, and imagination of a well-established motion picture.

With those statements said, I had a hell of a fun time watching this film. The nonstop action keeps this film moving at a steady, energetic pattern. The enlightening, dead heat violence is rampant and overwhelmingly overweening. Worthwhile highlights to watch include the Russian Roulette scene, the evil laugh courtesy of O'Brien himself, the village under siege, the prison break, the motorcycle chases, and of course, the beautiful foxy ladies. Enjoy rooting for the heroes as they raise hell and wreck havoc by the film's climax with a little assistance from a few Native Americans. Do not forget to pay attention to Donald O'Brien's performance of a lifetime as a neo-Nazi sadist with a penchant for torture and wealth. This character, played by O'Brien is perhaps one of the funniest fictional villains ever devised. He gets away too furtively with a way over-the-top role ever since his portrayal as a mind-bending, homicidal doctor in DOCTOR BUTCHER, M.D. (1979).

A special panegyric acclamation goes to Sabrina Siani. She is certainly one lascivious actress who knows how to make your pulse beat faster! Siani is definitely a magnificent Italian beauty whose elegance, personality, and the luscious facade help make viewing this movie a bit more bearable. Her presence alone makes this film worth seeing...

Just a tidbit, the title is once again a misnomer! Here's a pondering, perplexing, and ambiguous question: What does this film have to do with "Texas Gladiators?"

In spite of this film's ridiculousness, you will be mesmerized at the high voltage intensity of this spectacle. The cast is lively and prepossessing, plus this film moves at an unwontedly breathless pace. You can argue that this film is bereft of creativity, coherence, flair, and class, but what's the point of grousing about the film's foibles? This film is NOT great by any means, but it is delightfully entertaining on many levels (in a purely superficial matter, of course).

If you like movies with an absence of both logic and novelty, along with a melange of faceless antagonists and heroes who are poor decision makers, then this hideously dubbed film will appeal to you. Plus, revel in some really miserable special effects, inept acting, and unintentional laughs... Pop the champagne and enjoy!

RATING: ** out of ****.

And then there were less than five .....

[CelluloidRehab · 2/10 · 6 March 2006]

The year is 2020.

The place is Texas.

The setting is the aftermath of the great nuclear war that devastated everything. In this new environment, man has deteriorated to the level of beast.

The opening scene is the carnage at a "church" (which looks like a deserted warehouse with a cross, a statue, a priest dressed in all red and two nuns). Apparently these savage men (they look prehistoric) are attacking. The priest is being assaulted and nailed to a cross, while the nuns are being raped and ravaged. In the midst of this (after enough watching) our 5 Texas Gladiators appear and kill everyone who isn't a priest or nun. One of the Gladiators, Catch Dog, rapes(I'm not sure if he's successful. It looks like no to me, but the others are sure he has.) a young girl (Maida - Sabrina Siani) he's found. The other Gladiators take offense to this and dishonorably discharge him into the desert. Apparently they have a strict moral code and go around the wastelands enforcing their own brand of justice.

We are then thrust into the future, where one of the remaining four (Nisus - Al Cliver) has joined Maida at this research facility where they are developing their own power supply. Apparently they have a daughter as well. Not sure when this happened. Time sure flies in the future. No wonder that gold watch is so coveted. Catch Dog then shows up with a whole bunch of guys on motorcycle and they attack the compound. Think of the Road Warrior, except change from gas to nuclear, and make everything really crappy looking. This is then followed up by Catch Dog's ally showing up in an old, beat up truck all painted black. Of course I mean Donald O'Brien and his brown jumpsuit paratroopers (they all wear black motorcycle helmets and have these giant shields with holes in them). These guys have "modern" weapons and decimate the entire facility. After, Maida gets raped yet again, Nisus is killed and we are transported, without warning, into the future again.

The director, having stolen every cliché from every post-modern-cataclysm movie, begins to steal from other genres (a.k.a. - The Deer Hunter). We are now in a bar, playing Russian roulette. This is not a Christopher Walken moment. It is actually pretty dull and laughable by comparison. Anyway, it turns out Maida is now the property of this gambler. The remaining 3 Gladiators turn their attention to him, when they discover he has one of their "amulets" (its just a circular pendant with a 5 on it.... it could be a nickle with a hole in it for all we care). They win and get the girl, but two are sent off to a hard labor mine for causing so much trouble. The third rescues them and somehow Maida becomes the fourth honorary member of the group. She seeks revenge and the plan becomes to take down Catch Dog and the Black One (a.k.a - Donald's O'Brien's impersonation of a bald, crazy SS officer).

This movie is ridiculous on so many levels. Continuity, plot, transition, sets, props, costumes are all meaningless. This is an Italian rip off of something. This is like 2019 : After the Fall of New York, except that was actually not bad. Maybe this was the sequel to that ??

Anyway, this movie is horrible. Its so bad, one can't stop laughing. The sets consist of filming in rock quarries, mines, abandoned factories/warehouses and the woods. The props all look like something that was left behind in Italy after the Nazi's were defeated. Did anyone notice the Gradius video game in the bar ? All the actors and stunt people got their 2 day course diploma from the William Shatner School of Acting and Fighting. We also get a lot of travel time (think Manos : The Hands of Fate). We get to see a lot of going somewhere, either by walking, running or driving. What is nice is Sabrina Siani. She was very hot. She gets plenty of screen time (this includes her numerous rape scenes) and a lot of running is involved. If one was careful enough and seen many of these Italian knock-offs, one might notice the familiar breasts. Yes, thats right. She's the body of Ocran, from Lucio Fulci's Conquest.

The movie is not quite as smooth as 2019, but it has it's own moments. It is quite silly (especially at the end when it turns into a western) and definitely worth watching if you've got time and laughs to spare, or if you're looking for something to cheer you up. To sum it up in one idea : the director, Joe' D'Amato, is responsible for giving us Ator the Invincible (Miles O'Brien !!! NO! NO! NOOOOOO !!!!).

What's with "The Deer Hunter" rip-off?

[Outlaw-12 · 1/10 · 18 April 1999]

I caught some of this ultra-cheese rip-off on Joe Bob's MonsterVision. I laughed, I cried. I squirmed during the tense and moving roulette scene because of Chris Walken's portrayal of... oops, wrong movie. I was engrossed by Mel Gibson's portrayal of a hollow loner surviving in the post-apocalyptic wastes... oops, wrong movie. I endured what I could and flipped to Starz, where they were showing "Playing God," with Agent Mulder and the Falcon (or was it the Snowman?), which wasn't much better. So, I just poured another drink and flipped between the two, and made it a truly memorable Saturday night in front of the cathode-ray opiate.

Another dull D'amato Road Warrior rip-off.

[BA_Harrison · 3/10 · 11 December 2013]

Just one of many trashy, low-budget Italian flicks to gleefully rip-off George Miller's classic Mad Max movies, 2020 Texas Gladiators is set against a typically barren, post-apocalyptic landscape and sees a brave band of warriors fighting back against the evil fascist regime that has been enslaving their people (with a little help from a gang of dirt-bike-riding, bare-chested punks in S&M gear).

Directed with very little style or finesse by Joe D'amato, and featuring a cast clearly chosen for the definition of their pecs or willingness to expose their tits rather than actual talent, the film is low on genuinely gritty exploitational content, the absence of any really nauseating gore or outrageous sleaze—both specialities of the director—being particularly noticeable.

Despite the welcome presence of smoking' hot blonde Sabrina Siani, and the inclusion of such blatant silliness as futuristic soldiers armed with electric bullet-proof shields (which have ***important plot point*** massive holes in them!), the derivative nature of the plot, D'amato's lifeless treatment, the lacklustre stunts, and the unremarkable performances (with the notable exception of Donald O'Brien as Black One—that guy is hilarious) all go to make this a frustratingly dull affair as a whole.

Delicious D'Amato post-apocalypse trash!

[Coventry · 7/10 · 11 July 2010]

Joe D'Amato, mostly known for his sleazy and downright nauseating horror flicks like "Buried Alive", "Anthropophagus" and "Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals", joins his contemporary Italian colleagues in making over- the-top cheesy and ridiculous post-nuclear Science Fiction movies! The trend started elsewhere, mostly with the Australian "Mad Max" and John Carpenter's "Escape from New York", but the Italians exploited the success of these films shamelessly and endlessly! Lucio Fulci had "The New Gladiators", Sergio Martino had "After the Fall of New York", Ruggero Deodato had "Atlantis Interceptors", Enzo G. Castellari had "The Bronx Warriors" and our good pal Joe D'Amato has both "Endgame" and this "2020 – The Texas Gladiators". It's a deliciously cheesy hodgepodge of semi-processed ideas and blatantly stolen sequences from other movies, and if you're a fan of this sort of trash, you're guaranteed to love it in spite of all the awfulness.

The movie starts, as to be expected, as a bunch of chaos! Texas is entirely destroyed by nuclear warfare and hoodlum gangs randomly run amok in the streets. Luckily there's a quintet of courageous beefcake warriors parading around to protect the weaklings. During a fight in a monastery (there's a nun who cuts her own throat … TWICE!), one of them is banished for trying to rape a girl and another one leaves voluntary to marry and live in a community that tries to rebuild civilization. The evil Nazi-inspired Black One violently invades this community, however, and makes a widow out of the warrior's wife. The tree remaining buddies pick up the girl in a sleazy bar and decide to help her in defeating Black One and his evil lieutenant, who's also an old acquaintance of them. Mind you, this is just a very brief and shortened plot description. There's a whole lot more going on in "2020 – Texas Gladiators". Too much to mention, actually, as there are authentic traditional Indians, enslaved mine workers, Russian roulette sequences that are stolen straight from "The Deer Hunter", Nazis with amours of steel and one tremendously cool Asian fighting expert!

Unless, of course, you have no idea what the early 80's Italian rip- off/exploitation business is all about, you simply cannot dislike "2020 – Texas Gladiators". Whilst slightly less outrageous and entertaining as "Endgame", this is another over-the-top flamboyant smörgåsbord of sleaze and violence. Donald O'Brien is fantastically stereotypical, in a totally deliberate fashion, and the battle sequences are hysterical. Imagine: hi-tech weapons can't perpetrate through the armor of the Nazi soldiers, but old-fashioned Indians with their primitive arrows and spears wipe them out in a matter of seconds! D'Amato's film is full of similar nonsense like this, and more. A real treat for demented exploitation dorks, like myself.

More solid & sleazy Italian post-nuke sci-fi action fun

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 16 March 2006]

In yet another savage, desolate, society-has-gone-completely-down-the-toilet after the Big Nuclear Blast wasteland, only five super-warriors -- the humane, trustworthy Nisus (Al Cliver, acting tough and sturdy with customary earnest conviction), dorky joker Jab (the extremely obnoxious Harrison Mueller), surly Cro-Magnon Catch Dog (sneering Daniel Stephen), quiet, but deadly Asian kung fu specialist Red Wolfe (lithe'n'limber Al Yamanouchi) and rugged survivalist Halakron (the solid Peter Hooten) -- are left to tame the new wild frontier and clean up the repulsive mutated trash making life difficult for all those decent folks attempting to rebuild civilization amid the barren rubble. Catch Dog gets booted from the group after he tries to force himself sexually on the feisty Maida (strongly played by the lovely, willowy blonde Sabrina Siani, who hefts a mean pump shotgun and can kick a** just as well as any dude). Nisus and Maida settle down with a peaceful group who are holed up at an oil refinery. Things are just ducky until a horde of foul, brutish, fascistic motorcycle-riding rape and murder happy Nazi marauders led by the evil, bald, power-crazed Hitler-like despot the Black One (a wonderfully quirky, scenery-gulping slice of ice-cold camp villainy from good ol' "Dr. Butcher" himself, Donal O'Brien), who has the traitorous Catch Dog in his employ as a flunky, come storming into town demanding all of the refinery's fuel. Nisus eats it early on, so it's up to Jab, Red Wolfe, and Halakron to take care of the Black One and his horrible cronies.

Reuniting several cast and crew members from the enjoyable, but slightly blah "Endgame" (Michele Soavi even returns to handle assistant director chores again), "2020: Texas Gladiators" rates as a sizable improvement, thanks to more focused, straightforward plotting and punchier pacing. Joe D'Amato's direction is strictly workmanlike, but fortunately still competent enough to create a grimly greasy'n'grungy atmospheric tone and satisfyingly deliver the necessary blood-spraying, butt-pulping, bullets a firing and bodies a falling action goods, with countless extras getting randomly snuffed at pleasingly regular intervals. Alex Carver's crafty script neatly tweaks standard raucous, rowdy, rollicking Western movie conventions, cleverly updating the plot of "The Magnificent Seven" to a gritty, bombed-out "Road Warrior"-style post-nuke sci-fi/action future: This exceedingly coarse, grimy, rough-edged effort features a lively no-holds-barred barroom brawl which comes complete with a fairly tense Russian roulette game that's directly lifted from "The Deer Hunter," plenty of sweaty white-knuckle shoot-outs and stand-offs, clearly drawn black and white distinctions between the good guys and the bad guys (the heavies are mean, dirty, heartless barbarians who cackle, leer and snarl a lot while the protagonists are true blue salt of the earth types with a firm, unyieldingly faithful moral code and a courageous willingness to sacrifice their own lives so that the beleaguered many who can't fend for themselves will prevail), and a tribe of noble bow-and-arrow wielding Native Americans astride charging horses leading the rousing attack on the Black One's army at the exciting conclusion. All in all, this one sizes up as a really good and thrilling little item.

More post nuke fun from D'Amato

[HaemovoreRex · 6/10 · 1 October 2006]

Yet another in a seemingly infinite list of post nuclear war flicks to emerge from Italy in the 1980's, this was directed by none other than top sleaze/horror master Joe D'Amato who also brought us the similarly themed Endgame, a film which also used a number of the same cast members here including Al Cliver and Al Yamanouchi.

Whilst this film is certainly the lesser of the two, it does nonetheless deliver some pretty satisfying action throughout.

The story concerns a group of Rangers who it seems have taken it upon themselves to clean up the scummier elements of the post apocalyptic society in which they find themselves. Early on, whilst performing one such clean up session, one of their members, Catch Dog tries to rape a beautiful woman (the supremely sexy Sabrina Siani). His comrades however, walking in on this immoral act quite rightly give him a good beating and promptly banish him from their ranks. Needless to say, this is not the last we see of the said miscreant for he later turns up again with reinforcements in the form of an army of Nazi like soldiers led by the sinisterly named 'Black One' who is viciously enforcing his 'New Order' across the land.

For fans of the genre, this should certainly provide a decent enough fix and it even boasts a number of fairly exciting action scenes. Added to this there's a rather cool score that accompanies the proceedings and even a few minor gore scenes to help matters along. Certainly well worth a look.

6 out of 10

Better than most PA flicks

[MeanYOB64 · 14 July 2015]

I find it very interesting that the at times Mega-Sleaze merchant like Aristide Massaccesi can knuckle down and make a pretty good action PA movie delivering tense atmosphere, well choreographed shoot-outs and some real forward-thinking between character relationships but all the while also keeping the sickening depravity (mostly) off the screen. For these reasons, if say you love Jesus Franco's latter movies that just seem to degenerate into pawn then you probably won't like 2020 Texas Gladiators that much. One of the interesting things about the movie is when one central character gets killed off and then the focus changes to another character then suddenly the situations tend to take on progressive changes in perspective, if that made any sense. The budget of the movie is obviously low, but the resourceful effects like the animated electricity on the futuristic riot-shields brandished by the enemy soldiers sometimes let you forget the shield frames are cardboard on close inspection. Because there are not many faces attached to the actors here at IMDb I forget the character name of the enemy boss, he was kind of a neo-Nazi type, not the best actor but he looks creepy and was funny at times. In conclusion, I liked this a lot more than any Mad Max film, it is definitely way better than Fury Road, so it is well worth seeking out.

Solid movie

[dmdb · 12 April 2016]

I only write reviews of movies with low rating, which actually are not that bad. Give them a chance!

This is not something I would recommend to everyone, but if you like apocalypse and post-apocalyptic movies then you may enjoy this one too. Not great, bot not that bad either - solid movie. It is boring in some parts, but still watchable, but I repeat, only if you really like apocalypse. I watched German dub version and that was great because of Future-Nazi soldiers that are in movie, I wonder how it sounds in English...

5/10

Entertaining Enough for the Genre

[Michael_Elliott · 9 March 2017]

2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)

** (out of 4)

A post-apocalyptic Texas is the setting for this Joe D'Amato film, which has a group of good guys (led by Al Cliver) going through and cleaning up the rougher parts of the city. One of their members, a real nut case, decides to try and rape a woman so he is beaten and kicked out of the group. Sure enough, he forms his own bad guy group and soon he's attacking our good people.

I'm purposely using lame terms like "good guys" and "bad guys" because the film is pretty darn simple like that. There's really not too much of a plot but I'm sure you already know that and especially if you're familiar with these Italian MAD MAX wannabe films. This here is yet another film like that but I must say that I think John Carpenter's ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK had an influence on many films from this genre, including this one.

D'Amato, Cliver and several of the crew members also did ENDGAME, another post-apocalyptic film an that one there is slightly better but this one here has a few good things going for it. The highlight of the film are obviously the various action scenes, which certainly show their low-budget nature but at the same time the scenes are at least fun and there are a couple nice kills throughout including one man who gets his chest pretty much brutally attacked. There's even a scene where a nun cuts her throat (twice!?!) to try and avoid the bad guys attacking her.

Performances are pretty much what you'd expect out of a film like this but when is Cliver (ZOMBIE) not worth watching? He makes for a good lead and certainly helps keep you entertained in what you're watching. As you'd expect, all of the women are quite beautiful so that's always a major plus.

2020 Texas GLADIATORS isn't a film that's going to win any major awards but it's certainly entertaining enough to make it worth watching if you're a fan of D'Amato or the genre.

If you like this sort of thing...

[Erictd · 7 March 1999]

I found Texas Gladiators (the english version) to be an excellent source of entertainment, but only because it was a piece of purile rubbish. The fact it was made in 1982 only heightens my abhoration of the costumes, which if the words "typical 80's bad guy" do not sum up I don't know what does.

From big things like the absence of a script and/or plot to the little things like labeling a 44-gallon drum with the word "DINAMITE", this film (if we can call it such) made me glad one of my friends paid the rental fee.

Luckily we rented this video in the frame of mind of looking for the worst movie we could find, and I believe we attained that goal in renting Texas Gladiators.

Ridiculous Italian action crap

[lor_ · 25 February 2023]

My review was written in November 1985 after watching the film on Media Home Entertainment video cassette.

"2020 Texas Gladiators" is an incomprehensible action pic, made during the 1982-83 boom in Italian takeoffs on "Mad Max" and similar films. New Line Cinema mulled a theatrical release last year (under new title "Sudden Death") for this item from Helen Sarlui's Continental Motion Pictures banner, but instead it is going direct to home video by MHE release.

Absent any Texas location establishing footage, this made-in-Rome property opens with a telltale scene of post-nuclear war marauders attacking a priest and nuns. A group of "rangers" (our heroes) defeat the baddies, but one ranger Catch Dog (Daniel Stephen) tries to rape heroine Maida (Sabrina Siani) and is banished from their group by nominal leader Nisus (Al Cliver).

Without any exposition, next sequence is apparently several years later, with Nisus working at a petroleum refinery and Maida taking care of a cute little girl (revealed to be her daughter several reels later). Catch Dog shows up leading a bunch of marauders on 250-cc. Motorcycles, riot police arrive in a battletruck and are protected by bullet-repelling thermal shields, and a Nazi-styled leader named Black One (Donal O'Brien) tries to set up a new order.

Though action sequences are directed adequately, film totally lacks connective tissue and makes no sense whatsoever. Only laughs are provided by guys dressed up like cowboys, wielding whips presumably left over from the 1960s pasta oaters craze, and very fake Indians riding to the rescue. In a shaggy dog joke, Catch Dog carries around a weird-looking, multi-barreled prop gun, which he finally tries to shoot in the final reel -it doesn't work, so he tosses it away in disgust unfired.

Multinational cast is okay, with ubiquitous leading lady Sabrina Siani styled to resemble Daryl Hannah this time out.