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  • Warning: Spoilers
    Whilst INSEMINOID was never going to win any awards in any film departments you could care to name, it's far from the disaster some people have claimed it to be, and if you approach it with an open mind and take it all in fun, then you'll probably have a good time. I must admit to a certain amount of nostalgia for this kind of film, which could usually be found languishing on the bottom of a late-night horror double bill at a provincial flea-pit cinema here in Blighty, and it's not too difficult to imagine yourself watching INSEMINOID in between visits to the hot dog concession and the toilet as you wait impatiently for something like THE EVIL DEAD or ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS to start. Norman J.Warren, a maverick director who knew a gap in the market (or the opportunity for a quick cash-in on an established craze) when he saw one, is actually a pretty decent director, and he gets ample opportunity to show his tightly-honed skills here, particularly during some of the more competent action sequences. The set design may be no great shakes - the film looks more like a big-screen version of the cult TV series BLAKE'S SEVEN than anything Ridley Scott put his name to - but the caverns that double as the subterranean outer-space dungeons are none too shabby and quite convincingly lit (just forget about the silly red-filtered shots of the planet's surface, so obviously shot in a quarry somewhere), and John Metcalfe's widescreen photography makes the low-budget production look expansive, if not exactly expensive.

    In short, INSEMINOID is the simple tale of a bunch of incompetent, to say nothing of downright disagreeable cosmonauts who touch down somewhere in the outer reaches of the galaxy and promptly tamper with the ecosystem, including some malevolent crystals and some sinister-looking pods. Before you can say "quatermass!", the crew members start getting bumped off, going crazy, cracking up, sawing their own feet off (a strong contender for the most cringe-inducing scene in the movie) and, in Judy Geeson's case, being forcefully artificially inseminated by a huge, glowering, crustacean life-form whose alien seed resembles lumpy green porridge. If you remember Geeson as the lovable dolly from TO SIR, WITH LOVE, then it will undoubtedly come as a shattering revelation to you that she forgoes the usual pregnancy pangs and cravings for unusual foodstuffs in favour of a bloodthirsty spree of murder and cannibalism, eventually giving birth to a couple of naked Muppets who just can't get enough of that chewy human stuff. To a large extent, it's Geeson's hyper-tense performance, all quivering facial tics, throat-rending screams and popping, twitching eyeballs that holds the film together in its later stages, as the plot contrivances and dumb-as-mud antics of her shipmates get a little too tedious and often to be believable. Still, if you're stupid enough to want to tackle a super-strong loony blonde single-handedly with no blunt instruments to help you, you really deserve a swift, messy death, right? INSEMINOID is truly a mad, crazy, paranoid, shambling mess of a film, but it still exerts a strong kinetic energy that fights off boredom and keeps you watching. There's also a surprisingly atmospheric electronic score, Stephanie Beacham in her underwear (one for the boys!) and quite a lot of the sticky red stuff to keep the gore-hounds salivating. Warren was never going to be another Pete Walker, but he wasn't another Andy Milligan either. If you're still not convinced, check out TERROR or SATAN'S SLAVE. If they whet your appetite, roll out INSEMINOID and enjoy.
  • The title caught our attention in the same way as Revenge of The Space-Hitlers, it's a title that says "this could be so bad that it would be entertaining". This is what we found. Low production values, low production costs, bad acting, bad dialogue, bad special effects - we found it hilarious (unlike Boggy Creek II, which was just plain awful)

    After the prologue, the opening line is "Hey wait a minute!" as in "what's this strange thing I've found on this strange alien world" - get the idea? It's a classic demonic possession plot, where a nice girl is turned nasty by an alien intelligence, and then people get 'hurt'. This means that there is plenty of blood and pain, and some cracking screaming from Geeson. If Oscars were awarded for screaming, we're of the opinion she should have got a nomination at the very least.

    To exemplify the bad dialogue: Woman in peril: "I can't do it!". Man trying to save woman with motivational words: "Can't is a word I don't understand! Come on, you can't give up!"

    Also "Unknown energy fields are beyond the reach of this team."

    Overall I'd describe this as a poor vehicle for nasty, bloody violence and a bit of sex, which made little sense. However, there is much entertainment in it's dire naffness.
  • INSEMINOID

    Aspect ratio: 2.39:1 (J-D-C Scope)

    Sound format: Mono

    Whilst exploring a series of caves beneath the surface of Jupiter's moon Xeno, a scientific research team unleashes a long-buried alien creature which impregnates one of the female members of the crew (Judy Geeson). With the subsequent pregnancy developing at an alarming rate, Geeson is compelled to protect her unborn 'children' from scientific scrutiny and begins to massacre her colleagues, one by one...

    Responding to the worldwide appetite for overblown space operas established by STAR WARS in 1977, yet remaining true to his roots as a purveyor of exploitation-horror movies (SATAN'S SLAVE, PREY, etc.), British director Norman J. Warren developed the script for INSEMINOID with writers Nick and Gloria Maley, a team of special effects technicians looking for a vehicle in which to showcase their talents. With funding from British and Hong Kong sources, the film went into production at Chislehurst caves (a grim but picturesque location just outside London) shortly after Ridley Scott's ALIEN (1979) wrapped principal photography, though Warren and producer Richard Gordon insist the movie wasn't influenced by Scott's blockbuster in any way.

    Unfortunately, INSEMINOID's lofty ambitions are somewhat undermined by its modest £1 million budget, yielding a range of sets, costumes and visual effects which are more reminiscent of "Blake's 7" and "Doctor Who" than STAR WARS, and the cheapskate production values often provoke unintentional laughter. Faced with some fairly amateurish dialogue, most of the cast can't help but sink to the occasion, though Geeson is remarkably good in the leading role, transforming herself from terrified victim to monstrous avenger with scene-stealing glee (unfortunately, she later bad-mouthed the film in no uncertain terms, despite recently admitting she'd never actually seen it!). Stephanie Beacham (SCHIZO, TV's "The Colby's") plays the material with earnest conviction, while Victoria Tennant (THE WINDS OF WAR) makes no impression at all as one of the early victims of Geeson's rampage.

    For all its drawbacks, however, the film is fast-moving and eager to please, and benefits enormously from John Metcalfe's expansive scope photography, which Warren uses to evoke a sense of scale at odds with the movie's financial limitations. There's plenty of gory violence on offer, too, though Warren was forced to make a few cosmetic trims to some of the most explicit sequences for censorship reasons in the UK, and it's that version which has prevailed ever since. Sadly, despite the film's modest success (including America, where a slightly truncated print played theatrically under the title HORROR PLANET), the director was unable to finance another venture for several years afterward, and his final film to date, BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987), went straight to video. His long-cherished ambition to remake FIEND WITHOUT A FACE (1957) has yet to happen, which is particularly regrettable - the genre has always needed talented mavericks like Warren, now more than ever.
  • For a movie from 1981, then "Inseminoid" (aka "Horror Planet") was still entertaining to watch today. After having read reviews that claimed it to be a rip off of "Alien", then I was a bit reluctant to watch it. I will say, however, that while it shares some similarities with "Alien" then it wasn't a rip off.

    The story is about a group of interplanar archaeologists who stumble upon a cave-dwelling alien creature. The creature impregnates one of the crew members, and slowly she started to turn into a crazed killer while the alien offspring grows inside her.

    Now, the movie is driven by its story and acting talents, and barely relying on the special effects. This wasn't a special effects extravaganza, not by a long shot.

    As for the acting, then I will say that people were doing good jobs all round, which was crucial for the movie.

    You can't really have an alien creature movie without a proper alien being. The alien in "Inseminoid" actually looked rather interesting and was nicely made. It just wasn't shown as much throughout the entire movie as I would have liked.

    All in all, "Inseminoid" is an enjoyable Sci-Fi horror movie. But given its age, it is not a movie that stands out as memorable in comparison to the Sci-Fi horror movies that come out nowadays.
  • Don't expect a high quality sci-fi horror film. With all that was available to them, the cast and crew dished out an average effort.

    There is a decent amount of gore in this film. The killings are well orchestrated, however in the special effects department this film is really lacking.

    The film is dull in the beginning. The impregnation sequence leaves a lot to be desired. Just compare how in Alien directed by Ridley Scott, the "face-hugger" sequence is well shot and we see the creature clearly attached to the face of its victim and also as the creature bursts out of the chest.

    Here the alien creature transfers its genetic material through a clear plastic or glass tube inserted into the vagina of the victim. A sort of artificial insemination. And this is the topic film pokes fun of.

    Full Plot: On a desolate planet, a team of 12 Xeno project scientists are conducting an archaeological excavation to locate remnants of an ancient civilisation. Soon after an underground tomb network is found to contain crystals and wall inscriptions, photographer Dean White (Dominic Jephcott) is engulfed in a sudden rock blast and left incapacitated. Deciphering the alien language in the caves, xenolinguist Mitch (Trevor Thomas) suggests that the civilisation based itself on dualism: the planet orbits a binary star, and a pair of twins appears to have ruled the race that once inhabited it. Medical assistant Sharon (Heather Wright) announces that an energy field surrounds the crystals and proposes that a "chemical intelligence" ordered life on the planet.

    A crazed Ricky Williams (David Baxt) is compelled to re-enter the caves when a sample of crystals starts to pulsate and the chemical intelligence exerts its influence through a mark on his arm. Thrown into a grille in a compromised environmental suit, a panicked Gail (Rosalind Lloyd) commits suicide, removing her helmet and freezing to death in the inhospitable atmosphere while attempting to amputate her trapped foot with a chainsaw. Documentation officer Kate Frost (Stephanie Beacham) shoots Ricky with a harpoon gun just as he is about to open both the inner and outer airlock doors and render the air inside the base unbreathable.

    After the burial of Ricky and Gail, Mitch and Sandy (Judy Geeson) return to the caves to gather more crystals. A monstrous creature appears and dismembers Mitch before proceeding to rape Sandy. Found distraught, she receives treatment from Sharon and the chief medical officer, Karl (Barry Houghton), who determines that the assault has initiated an accelerated pregnancy in defiance of the regular intravenous injections of contraceptives provided to the women in the team. When further explosions in the tomb network scupper chances of deeper investigation, the surviving members of the team await the arrival of a Xeno rescue shuttle.

    The intelligence assumes control of Sandy through a similar mark on the arm. Unhinged, she demonstrates superhuman strength while murdering Barbra (Victoria Tennant). She then proceeds to mutilate Dean and the remains of Mitch, drinking their blood. The rest of the team seek refuge in the Operations Room as Sandy obliterates important hardware—including the base transmitter—with explosive charges. When the imbalance in her mind appears to correct itself, Karl, Sharon and Commander Holly McKay (Jennifer Ashley) attempt sedation to spare her unborn offspring. However, Sandy returns to an aggressive state. Holly and Karl are killed in an accident with heat-sealing apparatus, whereupon Sandy disembowels the corpses.

    Senior officer Mark (Robin Clarke) contacts Sandy, who is his romantic interest, from the Operations Room to stall for time as Kate and operations chief Gary (Stephen Grives) leave to commandeer chainsaws. The ruse uncovered, Sandy harpoons Gary outside the airlock, breathing the toxic atmosphere to no ill effect as she mauls his flesh. Preparing for a final confrontation, Mark stumbles across Sandy's newborn mutant twins. He entrusts them to Sharon as their mother blasts through the Operations Room door and smashes all the equipment inside, although she has lost her unnatural strength. Crippled from the blast of an explosive charge, Kate is gored to death. In a last stand, Mark strangles and kills his former lover with a ripped-out cable. He returns to Sharon to find one of the twins biting at her gashed neck, before its sibling launches itself at him.

    One month later, Xeno Auxiliary Module 047 lands on the planet to investigate the loss of contact with the team. With the base in ruins, the mission records lost and the complement of scientists either murdered or missing, combat marksmen Corin (Kevin O'Shea) and Roy (Robert Pugh) abandon the search for survivors and pilot Jeff (John Segal) radios Xeno control for clearance to return. The final shots reveal that Sandy's children have concealed themselves in a storage compartment onboard the shuttle.

    Conclusion: rent it(and watch once) and DON'T BUY it. Bottom line: I've seen better films than this (The Thing 1982 and The Fly 1986 for example).
  • Warning: Spoilers
    From producer Richard Gordon and director Norman J. Warren comes this low budget trashy sci-fi / horror flick. It can't compare to the likes of "Alien", but is fairly entertaining for what it is. It's not very strong on coherency, and the story and characters could have used more colour. As things are, they're both rather nondescript. Still, undemanding genre fans who simply want to have a good time may find themselves enjoying "Inseminoid", even if the movie itself isn't as cool as its title.

    A group of astronauts are on a mission on a distant planet, trying to discover what happened on an ill-fated previous mission. As team members begin dying, one of their number, Sandy (Judy Geeson) has a vision of being raped by an alien being - after which she appears to go insane and start slaughtering all the team members that are left. As the amount of survivors dwindles, those that are left try to eliminate the crazed Sandy.

    Warren does one good thing in taking a page from John Carpenters' book: shooting the film in widescreen (that is, the 2.35:1 aspect ratio) to give this little film a bigger feel. And the cinematography by John Metcalfe is quite good, helping to give "Inseminoid" the atmosphere that it needs. The cave sets are also well done for the budget. This movie may lack a really strong story, but it does have a feel of true doom & gloom to it, and it's got just enough gore to keep some of us genre fans happy. The cheesy music score by John Scott is a little too silly at times, but for the most part it's good schlock movie music.

    The acting from the mostly British cast is generally pretty good, with familiar faces like Stephanie Beacham and Victoria Tennant. The ladies in the cast, also including Jennifer Ashley, Rosalind Lloyd, and Heather Wright, are an attractive bunch, which is a bonus. (There's some breast shots for those of you who are interested.) Top billed actor Robin Clarke is pretty stiff, however.

    The aliens in this movie are an amusing bunch, but it is a good thing that they're not seen too often.

    Best recommended to die hard B movie aficionados, who should appreciate the way this thing ends.

    Six out of 10.
  • An expedition team investigating a planet faces terror as a woman on the team gets raped by an alien (with something that looked like a plastic pipe filled with green ooze) and starts killing her colleagues. The team will have a hard time surviving. After all it's a pregnant woman who's hunting them down!

    Being an 80s sci-fi movie, there has to be a space bunker full of lights, buttons, monitors and fancy space suits. They did some fine work with the backgrounds, and no fog machines were spared. There's also explosions. Yay!

    This movie is pretty dumb in many ways but hey, turn your brain down and enjoy the violence and cheese this movie has to offer. It can be entertaining.
  • Like a previous contributor, I saw Inseminoid on BBC 1 last Saturday too - but to my eternal shame, I must admit that I actually went out of my way to see it!

    Y'see, when I was a spotty teenager way back in the early 80s, I was always intrigued by this movie's premise - aliens! horror! sex! YES!! YES!! YES!! - but was too young to rent it from my local video shop. So when I saw that it was on telly I was ecstatic - twenty years of waiting, over at last!

    Well, you know what they say about being careful what you wish for... As everyone's already pointed out, it's sh*te of the highest ordure - 'nuff said.

    In answer to the fellow country-man who also endured it on Saturday: as a first (and last) time viewer, obviously I've no idea if it got cut. I imagine the scene that the Beeb would (naturally) be most sensitive about is the 'xeno-rape' scene.

    What was shown was a slightly confusing collage of bug-eyed alien leering down at parted thighs (as if seen from the viewpoint of the inseminee), intercut with shots of a crooked leg, behind which you could see a clear plastic tube - the alien's penis? - filled with what looked like meatballs floating in green pea soup. Presumably the tube was being used to penetrate and impregnate the alien's prey.

    Does that sound much like the uncut version you saw way back when? As I say, it was pretty confusing and felt like it might have been cut, but given the generally shoddy state of the direction and editing it's hard to tell what's the director's original 'vision' and what's been snipped by the censor's scissors.

    Pip-pip, The Hutt
  • Warning: Spoilers
    Man, this deliciously vicious early 80's British low-budget "ALIEN" rip-off can't seem to buy a positive comment. Well, luckily I'm here to post the token "where's this fool's head at?" odd man out favorable review for this enjoyably rough'n'nasty sci-fi/horror nugget. This extremely crude (and hence pretty smoking in my severely misguided book) dreck epic par excellence arguably boasts the single most brazen and absurd premise imaginable: Judy Geeson (yes, the same exact Judy Geeson of "To Sir With Love" fame) delivers a bang-up performance in the very thankless part of a luckless arid desert planet explorer who gets raped and impregnated by a foul extraterrestrial monster, which in turn causes her to go utterly bonkers and savagely butcher her fellow researchers. Geeson blows one guy's stomach open with a bulky laser gun, slices up future Steve Martin better half Victoria Tennant with a pair of scissors and snacks on a shrieking Jennifer Ashley, taking time out in between committing these ghastly murders to give painful birth to two slimy and ugly lethal humanoid alien babies in a sickening sequence that's absolutely appalling to behold (naturally, it's one of my favorite moments in the film). Directed with a laudable lack of taste and restraint by Norman J. Warren, with a quick, steady pace, a suitably bleak tone, some pleasingly barbed dialogue ("That would look great on the report," one beleaguered astronaut caustically remarks, "the team terrorized by an expectant mother"), an unusually strong cast, plenty of unflinching in-your-face graphic splatter, and a way funky score by John Scott, "Inseminoid" rates highly as first-rate unapologetic down'n'dirty trash that's not to be missed by hardcore connoisseurs of low-grade sleazy cinema.
  • Yes, indeed, the bloody British have done it again, and I literally mean "bloody". It's a low-budget ripoff of "Alien", one containing plenty of gory holes, limbs and entrails. Although the sets and visual effects are cheap-looking, the screenplay causes its characters to behave foolishly most of the time, and the electronic score may drive you mad, director Warren keeps up a brisk pace to prevent you from becoming bored, while Geeson delivers a pretty chilling performance.
  • Male and female scientists set up a research lab on a distant planet and encounter a giant, bug-eyed alien monster. It kills several people, rapes Judy Geeson and disappears, but the horrors are just beginning. Geeson becomes a hard-to-kill, hysterical madwoman with super strength who kills for blood to feed the alien's mutant offspring, which she's now carrying.

    This Brit ALIEN clone is often inept and entirely contrived, but not completely without entertainment value. FX are mediocre, but it's bloody, fast-paced and there's a great electric score from John Scott. Judy Geeson is excellent in a role that requires a hell of a lot of merciless ranting and screaming.

    HORROR PLANET refers to the original U.S. release of the film, which was cut. The title INSEMINOID refers to the uncut, letterboxed DVD and cable version.

    Score: 3 out of 10
  • cpuuk31 May 2005
    The script is the main culprit, with terrible lines and cliché scenes written for 4 year old to ponder upon: The number of times the cast members are sent out into the corridor (ones & twos) to be done-in by a rabid Ms Gleeson beggars belief! And each time they fall over\ stand still so as to allow themselves to be dispatched in some very poorly choreographed fight scene- did I say fight scene? I meant rolling around on the ground. I can only guess that they ran out of plot devices on day 1.

    The Director should also stand up and take a bow, as a lot of the fault lies there. The subject matter may have been "maverick" but it was executed in a terrible way- B movie slasher style. He should have realised that this plot line was about as believable as politician election promise.

    My sympathy goes to the cast, who were made to say the lines and roll around on the ground. They put in bad performances all round, with only Ms Gleeson showing an occasional dabble of acting skill.

    If MST3K ever wanted to do a schlock SF horror, this would be the one to go for.
  • On a remote planet,a group of archaeologists have established a base deep inside a network of caves.While out exploring one day,one of the team,Sandy,is abducted by a monstrous alien that forcibly impregnates her.As the alien fetuses grow inside her,Sandy is driven insane by the need for blood to feed her offspring and starts slaughtering her fellow scientists."Inseminoid" is a cheaply made "Alien" clone,but I don't care.It's a pretty good horror film on its own that kept me on the edge of my seat.There is plenty of gore and a little bit of sleaze,so I wasn't disappointed.The script is weak and the acting is average,but "Inseminoid" is fast-paced,twisted and immensely enjoyable.So if you liked "Galaxy of Terror" or "Forbidden World" give this one a look.Just ignore the negative reviews and check it out.7 out of 10.
  • I remember first encountering this film back when we were all itching for another actual ALIEN movie and disliking it intensely. And after going back again and watching it as an "adult", there is little to really be fond of about it: the film is cold, distant, cruel, sickening, barbaric, perverse, twisted, and rather dull for periods of time.

    Yet HORROR PLANET has a very devoted cult following due to the presence of whacko director Norman J. Warren -- who's 1976 satanic shocker SATAN'S SLAVE is a bizarre masterpiece of trash period horror -- and the presence of cult favorites Judy Geeson [DOOMWATCH, A CANDLE FOR THE DEVIL] and the very British DD cuped aristocratic Stephanie Beacham, fondly remembered by this commentator for her appearence in DRACULA A.D. 1972. I am not overly fond of HORROR PLANET as a film, but the movie itself is a fascinating production that has a bizarre history that is almost more interesting than the story it tells. This is because HORROR PLANET is the second of the three big Space Sleaze Epics released in the immediate wake of ALIEN. The reigning king is still Bruce Clark's mesmerizingly awful GALAXY OF TERROR [1980, my favorite of the three], with the likewise Roger Corman produced FORBIDDEN WORLD MUTANT] by director Allan Holzman from 1982 rounding out the trio.

    Of the three, HORROR PLANET is the least fun, the most gory, the most "horrifying", and the one that seems to have suffered the most from the cutting shears of various home video marketers over the years. Originally released as the more revealingly titled INSEMINOID in 1980, it was a British made production with a Dr. Who like budget, conveniently staged entirely underground or in space station sets so that no major special effects were needed beyond the gore effects.

    And like FORBIDDEN WORLD and GALAXY OF TERROR especially, HORROR PLANET embraced all of the sexual aspects of the ALIEN/human interaction's possibilities, doing so with attractive B supporting actresses known for their willingness to do exploitation work to help get a film done. GALAXY OF TERROR presented the world with the timeless image of CAGED HEAT's Taffey O'Connell having a close encounter of the most unwholesome & slippery kind with a giant space maggot in a scene that is pure exploitation that will live in infamy forever that is available in it's squishy entirety on Laserdisc and on an imported UK DVD. But HORROR PLANET [which came first] gives us more of a big insectoid/slug, which impregnates Ms. Geeson with it's disgusting, human skinned but insect headed progeny, and director Warren depicted their emergence such unrelentingly graphic slop that the original cut of INSEMINOID was Rated X by the MPAA.

    As such INSEMINOID could not find a distributor in the US in 1980, and was apparently banned in certain parts of Europe [including the original lobby poster design, which was deemed to be obscene], only finding a release in Japan where, as we all know, they will watch just about anything. In 1982 a significantly cut version -- now called HORROR PLANET and again, distributed by Roger Corman -- was finally granted an R rating, and it's across the board "bomb" reviews for being apalling, gross, perverted ALIEN sleaze sort of guaranteed it's cult following when the movie turned up for home video in 1983 and again in 1988 on Laserdisc as well, all of which quickly went out of print and are now collector's items. There was also a home video issuing of another version also called INSEMINOID in the mid 1990's, but was cut even further than the HORROR PLANET tapes, and it too quickly went out of print. Used examples of these videos are readily found at places like amazon.com's reseller shops, and would prove an interesting if somewhat distasteful diversion for fans of recent garbage like SPHERE, EVENT HORIZON, RESIDENT EVIL and the like.

    But others should be rightfully warned, or appropriately titilated, by noting that this movie is gross, this movie is painful, this movie is difficult to watch, has little or no artistic sensibilities worth commenting on or unusual plot elements to discuss. There is a cold, distanced and documentary like method to the storytelling that leaves very little need for deconstruction -- what you see on the screen is pretty much what you get. But if watching Judy Geeson being impregnated by a giant worm, give birth to twin alien maggots and then murder & cannibalize the rest of the cast in some warped space fever/dementia is your idea of a good time, well Norman J. Warren made this mean spirited, sick little movie just for you.

    Enjoy. ** [out of a possible ****]
  • A friend bought me the DVD of Inseminoid knowing I like bad SF films. Boy did he hit the mark with this piece of sh!t. Thanks Mike.

    Another of the countless Alien inspired ripoffs with any attempts at any Science Fiction elements soon abandoned after a few wafflings about crystals with "unknown energy fields" and the planet having twin suns. Soon the usual assorted crew members of the archaeological expedition are getting needlessly separated, doing stupid things like walking backwards down dark corridors, and generally doing everything they can to get eaten.

    When the highlight of the movie is someone attempting to cut off their own foot with a hedge-trimmer (and just exactly why an exo-archaeologist is wandering around an alien cave system carrying a hedge-trimmer is never explained) you know you are in trouble.

    There are many bad movie moments in this film. (Including a couple of classically bad fights with actors 'punches' missing each other by yards.)

    Stephanie Beacham is the best thing in this movie and acts everyone else off the screen by doing as little as possible in the hope that no one notices her. And I got so bored staring down Judy Geeson's mouth as she screams, moans, mugs, and grimaces her way through her part that I started to count her fillings. I mean how bad does a movie have to get before you find the lead's dentistry the most interesting thing on the screen? And it never ends! It just goes on and on and on - and the music is AWFUL!!!

    Please make it stop!!!!

    A Serious Bad Night Out Award of the week this one.

    The UK Stonevision DVD release of this film has a very amateur "Documentary" on the director as an 'extra'. It is bad, but more interesting and better than the movie.
  • This movie is basically an "Alien" rip-off for the most part, but it does have some differences. This one has an alien kill some people and rape a woman then it is no more. What the heck? Is this one of the shortest movies ever? No, the woman who was raped is now carrying alien offspring and she must feed her little critters blood. There was a movie made later that had just about the same concept only it was set on earth and in modern times. This one is set in space and boy they do not really follow science at all in this one. Still though it is better than some Alien clones, but it is still not all that great. For the most part, in fact, it is pretty bad. However, it is watchable at least. I have only seen the cut version, I would imagine the only thing that was cut down was the rape scene because I don't remember all that much. The kills are pretty standard and the ending is fairly predictable if you are a horror fan. Another movie this reminds me of, but just a bit, is "The Beast Within". That one had a woman raped in it to and she carried the child though that one was a lot better done than this.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    On a far off planet a team of space explorers open an underground carven. First off two explores who enter the cave first, were effected by some unknown origin. One dies and the other goes crazy, and then is killed by one of his fellow workers. As they struggle to work out what's going on, a female team member is kidnapped and raped by an alien, who impregnates her with its alien spawn. When she comes around and finds she is back in the base, she suddenly turns on her team, by transforming into a unnaturally strong psychopathic being that lusts for their blood.

    What an inspiring viewing! Ah, actually I'm thinking of something else. "Inseminoid" is my first taste of a Norman. J Warren exploitation film, and I thought it was modest attempt. I heard and read some decent things on this British director's other films such as "Satan's Salve" and "Prey", but honestly this one didn't really blow me away. The version I got is the uncut, uncensored take and these gory moments is what made the film for me. Gee, I can just imagine how tame and weak the cut version must feel, because it relies on its unpleasant and shocking effects to entertained, because the story is… well been done before, but better and the acting is reasonably lifeless in giving dud performances. Most of them came across as dead as wood. Though, except for Judy Geeson memorable performance as Sandy, the real victim of all of this. And that weak script is filled leaden dialogue to match that of the dire acting. It's not that I hate it, but from a couple of scenes I saw on the making-of featurette, Norman. J Warren sounds like a pretty interesting fella and who has a good sense of humour, but that didn't entirely eventuate into this film for me. It just felt rather stale, with its stodgy pace and I was waiting for some humour to break up some dry moments, but it just didn't come.

    But hey, what am I to expect when really this is low-budget rip-off of Alien, which its main focus is to show us pretty woman and many graphic, violent scenes, that make you feel uncomfortable because they're plain unpleasant. It just makes you shudder, because there's a over abundance of it and sometimes it's not executed in a inventively swift manner, but actually come across as… dumb. But there are some well staged moments with a certain profound vibe, the main points have to go to the brutal attack in the caves, the eerie as hell alien rape and going into labour scenes. They were just damn right unnerving, and that was helped a lot by the chilling synthesisers that overwhelmed those moments. They really did kick in! But everything else is rather tensionless and lacked intensity, with most of the action organised is an unbelievable manner. Merely it's the gore in those scenes that provide the thrills. Don't go in hoping for a whole lot of bloody terror from our alien guest, because there isn't much. You don't really get to see the big fella clearly, but though the offspring get a bit of screen time towards the end. It's Sandy and her growing hunger who causes the real devastation! Speaking of the alien/s, there designs look no less but peculiar. What stood was their ugly big heads and the massive eyes. The father alien somewhat reminded me of a caterpillar! I guess that's the budget for you. Another key factor was that I didn't get any real sense of atmosphere, sure there's a couple of scenes that are risible, but for me it wasn't sustained and there was no real feel of dread, or panic.

    The plot, screenplay had plenty moments that reminded me of ala "Alien", but that's far from my concerned because is basically filled obvious clichés and a convoluted narrative. Not much is explained on, and if so it's confusing tell what's happening and the characters seem to come and go with little purpose. Sometimes it's just cringe worthy with some stupid actions and dialogue occurring in some ridiculous scenarios. At times it ain't easy to watch! That really goes to that laughably goofy ending. These foolish characters are plain boring, with nothing to like about them. It just got a lot better when they started to dwindle, as I didn't have to listen to these obnoxious people. Look at the names of the cast, who mostly are British and you'll be expecting more than what you got here. Robin Clarke, Jennifer Ashley, Stephanie Beacham, Steven Grives, Victoria Tennant, Barry Houghton and Judy Geeson. Out of those only one stood out, that was Geeson, who gave it her all. Screaming those lungs out and getting up to grisly mischief. While the rest were less animated and paper thin. But what wasn't paper thin was the robust soundtrack, which was filled with 80-style synthesisers that really overpowered some sequences and weren't bad to listen either. Camera-work was steadily achieved with some nice tight nit angles and shots, but too it would be all over the place. Overall stolidly done, especially the lighting composition amongst the caves with it generating a neat hyper colour scheme. The production design was ho hum, bits of it worked but most of it came across as cheap and rather dated. But that's its charm, you could say?

    Reading what people have commented on it, I can see why they frown upon it, but I don't share that same thought. Okay yeah, I'll admit it's bad. I found it dull and repetitive number of times, but really something about it stops me from trashing it. Maybe I'm not right in the head? But I did see it no more as a gory, cheesy throwback, with a couple decent stuff in the mix. This experience won't stop from trying to check out more of Warren's work, it actually has enhanced it!
  • In my never-ending quest in finding and watching as many bad movies as humanly possible has actually reached an all new level of badness: I finally saw INSEMINOID.

    As bad as anything Ed Wood has done except it was released in theaters back in the early 1980s after the huge success of ALIEN. The mind boggles. What's really funny about this non-entertaining "awful" movie is that it had such a low budget that the actors actually wear Jordache jeans, probably the ones they owned! The story is supposed to take place decades in the future and yet the crew is wearing them sexy Jordache jeans. Too funny!

    There's no point of writing a review for this film because it simply stinks. And not in a "It's so bad it's good way". It's just awful. I felt bad for Judy Geeson though. A good actress in a really awful role.
  • ****Spoilers Ahead (if that is possible)**** Wow, talk about fond childhood memories being destroyed!! I saw this film when it first came out in 1981 as part of a drive in movie double bill with Galaxy of Terror. I was only 11 years old and had to beg and beg to get my parents to take me. I remember being scared as hell by this film and thinking it was so bloody and repulsive. I just tracked it down on DVD and watched tonight and man was I young and foolish. It was the cheapest, stupidest horror/sci-fi film ever. A lobster monster briefly appears and rapes a female crew member on some useless outer space exploration mission. It is what happened next that really killed me. The raped gal is then possessed and starts violently killing off the rest of the crew. Although this space babe seems to have super strength, never have movie victims been so ineffectual at defending themselves or using problem solving approaches. They have guns but do not shoot her. They have explosives yet fail in every attempt to use them. They can't even use blunt objects to club her. When they do get her in bad situations they just run away instead of killing her. Despite this, the biggest loser of the bunch is able to out wrestle her and strangle her with cords at the end of the movie. If she could be strangled how did she kill off the entire crew before someone gave her the smackdown??? The best thing I can say about this film is that it has moments of inspired screaming and also, it is oddly comforting to know that far into the future, we will still use plastic milk crates like I did in college for furniture and storage.
  • Why do people hate this film? Does it take a man in Paris France to say his true thoughts of the film that are GOOD thoughts and not the thoughts that this is a crappy-low-budget film like they may think. It is a beautiful and sad film which reflects toward real life of human birth and Mutation; and not since ERASERHEAD or FRANKENSTEIN have I seen such a great film which shall give me the ability to create a film like this. It is original, dramatic and gory, I would be surprised to see this film be forgotten in the future; and it takes a Genius Cronenberg-thinking man (or woman) to think of a plot like this. Sure the film went through tough times; it's fun to watch and pure entertainment to me.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    Britain has produced some great science fiction writers, such as the late Sir Arthur C Clarke, and an iconic science fiction television show, "Doctor Who". Sci-fi, however, has not been something that the British cinema has normally excelled in, although there have been occasional exceptions such as "Village of the Damned" and "Quest for Love". In the late seventies and early eighties, however, sci-fi was all the rage, following the success of "Star Wars", and even the British felt they had to get in on the act. Lack of finance meant that Britain was unable to produce its own big-budget space epics of the "Star Wars" type; that camp, self-mocking parody "Flash Gordon" was about the closest we got. "Inseminoid" is rather based upon another successful American science fiction film of the late seventies, "Alien".

    A group of interplanetary archaeologists (apparently in the far distant future there will be such an academic discipline) are carrying out a dig on an alien planet, otherwise known as Chislehurst (a dormitory town on the southern edge of London). One of the team, Sandy, is raped and impregnated by an alien creature. (Although the film is set many centuries in the future, all the characters have nice, user-friendly twentieth century English names like Mark, Gary, Sharon and Sandy). Pregnancy seems to change Sandy's character for the worse, because she goes on a homicidal rampage, slaughtering her colleagues one by one in order to feed on their blood. Although Sandy is outnumbered by about ten to one, and although the others have weapons which she lacks, they are unable to combine effectively to overcome her, merely offering themselves up like lambs to the slaughter.

    In the course of the film we make some interesting discoveries about the planet and its inhabitants, namely:-

    • Alien males have transparent plastic penises.

    • The main symptom of pregnancy among alien females is not morning sickness but murderous bloodlust. This possibly explains why their species is on the verge of extinction.

    • Contrary to what biologists might think, it is quite possible for humanoid life to evolve on a barren planet with temperatures of ninety degrees below zero.

    • There may be intelligent life in outer space but there is precious little in the British film industry.

    The film was made on a very low budget, as will be evident from the sets, costumes and props. The only thing director Norman Warren can do to make the exterior scenes look a bit less like Chislehurst is to shoot them through a red filter, although that makes it look as though the characters are moving at the bottom of an ocean of strawberry jam.

    Low budgets are not necessarily an impossible obstacle in the science-fiction field; the makers of British television series such as "Doctor Who" and "Blake's Seven", and even American ones such as "Star Trek", did not have at their disposal the huge amounts of cash George Lucas spent on "Star Wars". They could, however, sometimes call upon intelligent scripts and decent acting, which is not the case with "Inseminoid". The cast, at least on the female side, includes some relatively well-known names such as Judy Geeson, Stephanie Beacham and Victoria Tennant, none of whom look as though they know what they are doing in a film like this.

    At its best, science fiction can ask some pertinent questions about how science and technology might possibly develop in the future, and also about the philosophical, ethical and social implications of those developments. At its worst, it is "Plan 9 from Outer Space". On a scale of Ed Wood to Asimov, "Inseminoid" comes very close to the bottom end; it is only the third film I have ever given the minimum mark. The science fiction setting is really no more than an excuse for some video-nasty type gore and mayhem. 1/10.
  • I´ve seen many awful films throughout the years, but Horror Planet must be the worst one I´ve seen yet. Turkeys like Species 2, Wild Wild West, Speed 2 and DNA seem like masterpieces in comparison. I didn´t have high hopes for "Horror Planet", more than it might be so bad that it would become entertaining. But no. I can´t remember when I was so bored the last time.

    The confusing and stupid plot is about a group of scientists who search for some kind of diamond (I never quite understood what they were looking for) on a remote planet, and discover something else. They discover a "scary" creature, which looks more like a gigantic lobster or something. One of the female scientists gets raped (in one of the least convincing scenes in movie history) and becomes pregnant and possessed. She starts killing the crew one by one, but since the audience doesn´t really know who of the scientists is who, we don´t really care. "Horror Planet" might seem like a monster-movie at first, but after a brief and embarrassing performance by the creature, it is not seen anymore. The female crew member is the one who does all the killing. Cheap for the film makers, but very dull for the audience.

    Everything is bad with "Horror Planet". The script is a predictable rip-off of the masterpiece "Alien", made only two years earlier. The special effects look really crummy, the "monster" is lousy and not very convincing, even though it is almost not showed at all. The synthesizer based soundtrack makes the experience even worse. And the acting! I almost feel sorry for the actors.

    A friend of mine bought "Horror Planet" in a flee-market, and he thought that he might have found a decent horror movie to enjoy. I guess that the tag line on the cover, "Makes Alien look like E.T", made him excited. Well, after we had watched the movie he threw it in the trash can. Where it belongs. The worst film I have ever seen.

    * out of * * * * *
  • I remember seeing the trailers for this film on TV when I was far too young to see the movie itself, so I was happy to finally get hold of it as a VHS release on the Vipco label. Read the novelisation by Larry Miller, which was fairly gripping for pulp sci-fi horror. The budget of the film seems a bit low, but it works surprisingly well, and the alien is used sparingly, Geeson herself does much of the work and is very convincing, changing constantly between scared, vulnerable and helpless and homicidal and cannibalistic, when she goes mad she is very scary and intimidating, and shows sadistic relish for her victims, eating dead bodies and even eating a man's intestines just after shooting him while he is still alive and watching. There are plenty of murders and a fair bit of cannibalism so it's never boring. The mine set is a good choice, this is enhanced by lots of running/creeping around dark corridors and tunnels, which adds a certain intensity, the sets look a little cheap but it's forgivable. There is a startling sequence in which Geeson flashes back to her alien rape which is fairly explicit, but it's the murders which score. One scene in particular, not a murder but self mutilation, is fairly shocking, but the film can also be understated yet very nasty, for example when Geeson looms evilly right over the dead bodies of some of her colleagues, ready to feed. There is plenty of violence and creepiness, even if some moments look low budget. Stephanie Beecham is fair support as a Ripley look-alike, the rest of the cast play more convincingly than expected, no real character development but they all look dirty and stressed, which plays well, there is a certain feeling of conviction to it if you accept that they are all workers on a long-term space mission. A fairly good low budget shocker, with a parental subtext, the mother is both the killer and the victim. She's only trying to protect her young in the end.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    Inseminoid is set in the future on a distant planet where a small team of archeologist's are studying some previously uncharted alien tombs, strange crystals are found inside the tomb which seem to give off psychic energy. While in the tomb Mitch (Trevor Thomas) & Sandy (Judy Geeson) are attacked by an alien creature which kills Mitch & captures Sandy. Sandy suddenly finds herself back at the research base with no memory of what happened, it is discovered that Sandy is two months pregnant. Sandy has some strange marks on her arm & begins to change due to the influence of the alien crystals, eventually Sandy goes on a rampage throughout the facility killing everyone she can in order to protect the unborn alien creature inside her...

    This British production was directed by Norman J. Warren & is probably better known in the US under it's alternative title Horror Planet rather than it's proper & better title Inseminoid, written by special make-up effects man Nick Maley & his wife Gloria everyone who says anything about Inseminoid seem to mention the fact that it's a low budget Alien (1979) rip-off which I think is a little unfair. Maybe Inseminoid was intended to be a straight Alien cash-in but I would suspect it was more of a sci-fi cash-in in general with Satr Wars (1977) & sequel being particularly big at the time. I mean Alien is set on a spaceship, Inseminoid isn't as it takes place entirely on an alien planet. Alien features an alien stalking & killing people, Inseminoid doesn't as it's more of a possession film as Sandy is the one who stalks & kills. Alien puts a lot of emphasis on it's creature, Inseminoid doesn't & the alien here is barely even seen. While I can definitely see similarities there are enough clear differences here for me not to write Inseminoid off as an Alien rip-off although it does come close, there are far more blatant Alien rip-offs out there, Creature (1985) for instance anyone? At 90 odd minutes in length Inseminoid drags a bit during the first half but once Sandy goes mental it never lets up even if it's fairly average going, the script feels unfinished or more likely scenes weren't shot. The crystals are never explained properly like what they are or their true power, the alien insemination scene makes no sense with Sandy having to be naked in the alien planets atmosphere for it to inseminate her, we never learn why the expedition is there in the first place or why none of these people can come up with a decent plan to capture or kill Sandy. Having said all that Inseminoid has more going on that you might expect even if it's not very well explained, it has a certain sleazy charm to it that I liked & enough happens to stop you from going to sleep. While not a sci-fi horror masterpiece by any means I did have some fun with Inseminoid & I seem to hate it a lot less than most around here on the IMDb.

    While Inseminoid never really convinces you that it's set on an alien planet the makers do they best they can on obviously limited resources, the sets & costumes do look alright actually & the film has more production value than a lot of recent low budget horror. Filmed in full 2:35:1 widescreen director Warren tries to keep his camera moving & give us a few nice angles but making people run up & down dark caves & corridors exciting & interesting is a thankless task & not easy to pull off when it's what most of your film basically is. The gore is nowhere near as graphic as many would have you believe, in fact I found it rather tame. There's some blood splatter, some guts splattered on the floor, someone's head is bashed in, a woman tries to cut her own leg off in a confusing scene there's & a couple of gory bite wounds but otherwise very little else. The alien planet shots are tinted red & purple & are quite effective, the other special effects are surprisingly decent, not brilliant but perfectly acceptable considering the age & budget of the film.

    With a supposed budget of about $2,000,000 most of that ended up on screen to be fair, filmed in the Chislehurst Caves in Kent, in London & apparently in Malta. The acting is pretty good here & a decent cast are taking this far too seriously, there are one or two familiar faces here with Judy Geeson, Stephanie Beacham & Victoria Tennant all making an appearance.

    Inseminoid is a film which is just considered an bad Alien rip-off because I suppose basically it is but there's enough deviation here & the script takes slightly different directions that it's not the worst offender out there. To be honest I quite liked it, it's quite good to look at, features a bit of gore, a bit of nudity & some nice cinematography. I don't want to make it sound too good but I certain think it's better than many give it credit for.
  • tabuno20 January 2019
    10 August 2008. One of the worst movies unfortunately. The cheap looking sci-fi horror thriller begins with a little intelligent dialogue but then descends into stupid and idiotic, mind-numbing action sequences that awfully detract from any possible enjoyment of the movie. There are glimpses of possibilities, as when the lead female figure goes through more of a transformation, conflict than a number of stereotypical monster movies, but can't deliver and continues the gore and descent into horror mayhem that just doesn't connect. A few interesting atmospherics, cloudy eerie environmental shots, but nothing close to redeeming this movie. Two out of Ten Stars.
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