Bill: What are we really talking about here? Huh? What's the essence of what we're talking about? Spell it out for you if I have to.
[writing on chalkboard]
Bill: PROSTITUTION! Prostitution. Yeah, we can say it. We're big kids now, right? You know a lot of times it'll help you to understand a word if you break it down, so let's do that now, shall we? PROS... it doesn't mean anything. Forget about that... TIT, I think we all know what that means. TU, kay two tit and TION, of course, from the Latin to shun... to say no, uh-uh, thank you anyway I don't want it, to push away... it doesn't even belong in this word really, so let's get rid of that.
Bill: So, I get down to Atlantic City this weekend. I'm sittin' in the casino with my wash-n-dries, did I tell you I had they idea for them - first?
Leonard: Oh, that Barney Rubble. What an actor.
Bill Blazejowski: All you ever think about is yourself. You don't care what happens to me. You don't care what happens to Belinda. You don't care what happens to the Girl Scouts of America! America! I'm fed up, man. I'm fed up with you. I wash my hands and my feet of you!
Bill Blazejowski: What's our job? We like drive around and pickup stiffs, or what? Is that what we are supposed to do?
Bill: LOVE BROKERS!
Chuck Lumley: [reads the forms that Lenoard, the day shift guy left] Name of the deceased... something Polish?
Bill: Wanna know why I carry this tape recorder? To tape things. See, I'm an idea man, Chuck. I get ideas coming at me all day. I can't control 'em. I can't even fight 'em if I want to. You know, 'AHHH!' So I say 'em in here, and that way I never forget 'em. You see what I'm sayin'?
[speaking into tape recorder]
Bill: Stand back, this is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage. Edible paper. You eat it, it's gone! You eat it, it's outta there! No more garbage!
Bill: [points to morgue cold chambers] What's in here, just stiffs and stuff?
Chuck: Uh, no, we call them "corpses."
Bill: Can I take a peek?
Chuck: I think there's one in #7.
Bill: Hey, this Carboni guy! What's he, like, our boss or what?
Chuck: No, no, he's the supervisor. He's not here at night.
Bill: Nuh-uh! Get outta town! Just you and me and the stiffs alone? Here? That's gonna be radical, Chuck!
[Chuck opens morgue drawer]
Bill: That guy's dead!
Bill: Get this, I'm livin' with this chick, right? I come home one night and I catch her in bed - with another girl. I went, "No!" I couldn't believe it, you know. She went lesbo on me like that! Unbelievable. I just finished eatin' my dinner and walked right out of there. What do you think? Was that wrong?
Belinda Keaton: Why don't you go back inside. I'll be right in. Okay? Go - play with your rope.
Bill: Boy, I tell you Chuck, this weekend is it! This weekend I go to Atlantic City and I do nothing but play blackjack. Straight and through. I'm not even gonna get a room. I'm just gonna get those wash-n-dries, you know. Did tell you I thought of them first? Only they already had 'em.
Bill: Wall Street Journal. What are you reading this for? What's the matter with the Inquirer?
Bill: Vegas knows how to treat you right, you know, Chuck. He's got broads, you know, Wayne Newton. Got him. He's an Indian. Did you know that? I'll introduce you if you want me to.
Bill: Wait a minute. Hold the phone, Chuck. We got all that space down at the morgue. All those cars. All that time at night. Nobody watching us. We could handle things for your next door neighbor and all of her girl friends right out of the morgue!
Chuck: Pimps? Are you saying we should become pimps?
Bill: Pimps is an ugly word. We could call ourselves love brokers.
Bill: If I can take a moment here and I mean what I'm about to say. I feel a lot of love in this room. I don't know, maybe it's me; but, I'll tell you something. It was here a minute ago and it was really beautiful. So, at this moment, I think it's important that I see all of your breasts.
[objects thrown at Bill]
Bill: Or, I don't have to...
Dawn: Come on, let's get outta here. This guys no pimp, he's a wimp!
Bill: Hey, Chuck! How you doin' bud? Boy, I am cookin' like Betty Crocker tonight, sport.
Bill: [into tape recorder] This is Bill. Mission in life: make Chuck - a man.
Lupe: Don't be snobs. I used to be the pickle girl here once.
Bill: This guy - he doesn't have fun. I'm gonna teach him - this wild man - how to have fun right now.
Chuck: Did you ever see the movie "Klute"?
Belinda Keaton: What?
Chuck: The movie with Jane Fonda, "Klute".
Belinda Keaton: No, I don't think so.
Chuck: She plays a call girl and she's with this guy, a customer. And they're doing it and she's screaming and moaning as if its like the end of the world for her. And then right in the middle, when the guy's not looking, she looks at her watch. And you just know it's an act.
Belinda Keaton: Hey, I don't wear a watch.
Cop: Party's over, numb-nuts!
Chuck: That's great. That's great. You get me in jail with Peter Lorre's son.
Charlotte Koogle: Chuck. Chuck!
Chuck: Charlotte, I thought you were in Indiana. My mom called. And you flew all the way back here. I thought for sure when you found out what I was doing, you'd just hate me. No, not you. You came to be by my side. You are one in a million.
Charlotte Koogle: [spits in Chuck's face] Goodbye, Chuck.
Chuck: Here's an idea: Get a ticket on the first space shuttle and get out of here!
Manetti: Now, listen, helium-head, how hard is it to pass out some towels?
Bill: Well, it's a skill like anything else.
Manetti: These people pay $8,000 a year just to join this club. They expect service. Stop screwing around or I'll bust your ass out of here! Do you understand?
Bill: Yes. Alright.
Manetti: Beat it!
Bill: Come on, these guys are tough! Chuck, hey. Chuck, I'm not kidding you. These guys are built like Checker Cabs, man.
Bill: I'm cold!
[Chuck gives Bill his jacket]
Bill: Hey, Chuck, here you go. Microwave clothing. Listen to this!
Bill: That way you can stay warm and bake a potato in your pants.
Chuck: I think you can do better than that.
Belinda Keaton: Baked potato. I could kill for a baked potato.
Bill: Let's eat!
Belinda Keaton: We are all yours, Chuck!