I was intrigued by Human Lanterns for a few reasons. (1) It's a Kung fu movie with horror elements (I'm thinking, The Story of Ricky), (2) the colorful, almost surreal screen shots, and (3) 88 Films has done an edition of it (more on that later). They're always good for the wild and the wacky.
Oh man, where to start. You just can't win with a boring story. Disgraced guy in a monkey costume captures ladies and makes lampshades out of their skin. Pits two other guys against each other to distract everyone from his identity (yes, there is an unmasking at the end, a la Scooby-Doo). I had a really hard time staying awake during all the dull dialogue, detailing this yawner of a premise. Then there's the endless barrage of martial arts sequences, which (mostly) did nothing for me (sorry, folks). Maybe I'm not this movie's target audience. I don't know if this is a Kung fu trope or not, but they would stop mid-battle for a bunch of blathering exposition and/or speeches. Ludicrous. Then, back to hating each other.
I'm under the impression I saw a CENSORED version of this movie, which I'm sure also detracted from my enjoyment. 88 Films is a boutique label, specializing in genre films, so they have a right to charge a premium. Which really irked me, because the least they can do is release an uncut version. Hardly any of the highly-touted graphic violence or nudity. One of the extras is a trailer, where you can find graphic material nowhere to be found in the movie you just watched.
The good: The cinematography is spectacular. Done in this insane widescreen (Shawscope, 2.39:1), which is put to good, eye-popping use. Some battles are wall-to-wall! One elaborate battle they do a big, round, full tour of, which is awesome. Also, fairly extensive use of the fish-eye lens, which gives the film this bizarre, warped quality. Really enjoyed that. Very, very colorful period costumes and sets round out this amazing distraction from what is actually going on in the movie. Though I would be curious to see it in its uncut glory.
