The Bill (1984–2010)

The Bill was compulsory viewing for its first decade or so, but its relatively-new executive producer and his team of gossip-writers have conspired to reduce it almost to farce, presumably driven by a desire to attract those who habitually switch off after the serial soaps.

That is sad enough, but even sadder is the fact that even its degraded form, The Bill remains one of the better current offerings on television, purely for the two or three minutes per episode now devoted to the original concept.

Perhaps we should be grateful for those few minutes, which those attracted to the programme for other reasons may ignore while making or taking bets on which of the Sun Hill staff will soon have a child kidnapped, or prove to be corrupt, have a serious problem with alcohol or drug abuse, turn out to be either adopted or the parent of a long-lost illegitimate child, become unfaithful or a bigamist, go mad or murder several colleagues.

If only we'd known.