Ross Webster: I ask you to kill Superman, and you're telling me you couldn't even do that one, simple thing.

Perry White: I don't understand you Olsen. A boring banquet and you bring me three thousand boring pictures. Yet Superman saves a man from drowning on 3rd Avenue this morning while you stand there watching the whole thing and you don't even bring me one picture.

Jimmy Olsen: Chief, I didn't have my camera with me.

Perry White: [while Jimmy mouths the words he knows by heart] A photographer *eats* with his camera. A photographer *sleeps* with his camera.

Lois Lane: I'm glad I'm a writer.

Vera Webster: I still don't understand why you can't balloon down like the rest of us.

Gus Gorman: I just don't believe a man can fly.

Ross Webster: You know a wise man once said, I think it was Attila the Hun, "It is not enough that I succeed, everyone else must fail."

Perry White: I don't have to tell you, it isn't easy for me to lose one of my best reporters.

Clark Kent: Oh, that's okay.

Perry White: But you deserve the vacation, Lois.

Lois Lane: Thank you.

Clark Kent: I can give as good as I get.

Gus Gorman: I don't want to go to jail because there are robbers and rapers and rapers who rape robbers.

[Superman has just stopped a chemical fire]

Fire Chief: I tell you that man is a miracle.

Evil Superman: Well I hope you don't expect me to save you, 'cause I don't do that anymore.

Lorelei: Don't worry about me. I'm long past savin'.

Evil Superman: You always wanted to fly Kent. Now's your chance!

Jimmy Olsen: Clark, I want you to keep these people distracted so they don't know what I'm doing.

Clark Kent: What are you doing?

Jimmy Olsen: What am I doing? Remember what the chief said? A photographer always goes after a story.

Clark Kent: That could be dangerous, Jimmy.

Jimmy Olsen: Danger? Goes with the territory, Mister Kent.

Gus Gorman: You're hurting him. That's Kryptonite!

Vera Webster: Yes. This time we got it right.

Ross Webster: You're a genius. You've invented a machine that can find anybody's weak spot. Congratulations, old buddy. You'll go down in history as the man who killed Superman!

Ross Webster: Computers rule the world today. And the fellow that can fool the computers, can rule the world himself.

Lorelei: [reading Immanuel Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason"] How can he say that Pure Categories have no objective meaning in Transcendental Logic? What about Synthetic Unity?

Gus Gorman: [to Superman] Hey, man!

Lorelei: That's his last name. He likes to be called Superman.

Evil Superman: [after blowing acid on to his better half] What's 'a matter, Kent? Too hot for ya'? Come on chicken! You've been on my nerves for a long time!

Ross Webster: Vera, get ahold of yourself. No one else ever will.

[Clark directs his sneeze at Ricky's bowling ball, giving him a strike and destroying the bowling pins]

Lana Lang: Gesundheit.

Clark Kent: Thank you.

Gus Gorman: [adding tar to make Kryptonite] What the hell? He ain't gonna smoke it.

[last lines]

Pisa Vendor: Giorgio, per favore. Que grazie.

Vera Webster: Don't call me "man."

Ross Webster: I can't have anyone with me... who isn't with me.

Ross Webster: Never underestimate the power of computers.

Ross Webster: What will it do?

Gus Gorman: Anything I tell it.

Ross Webster: What will it do for me?

Gus Gorman: For you, it will do anything you tell me to tell it to do for you.

White Coated Scientist: Hey. Here's that compound you ordered. Can't imagine what you want with it, but you've got it.

Gus Gorman: What the hell am I afraid for? I'm from Earth.

Ross Webster: I've got to get rid of him.

Vera Webster: How? Shoot him? You know about him and bullets.

Gus Gorman: Superman's bad!

Ross Webster: My friend, you are yesterday. Whomever pulled off this caper, is tomorrow.

Ross Webster: I'll say he was.

Vera Webster: If you don't mind, we're trying to hold a meeting here!

Lorelei: Why don't you hold your breath instead? Maybe you'll turn blue. Ha! Improvement.

Vera Webster: Pay attention, people, I'm about to take a human life!

Gus Gorman: I've been thinking I'm not making enough money for this gig.

Ross Webster: Gus, if there's anything I hate, it's greed.

Gus Gorman: Greed? Mrs. Ross, just a minute. Let me tell you something.

[goes down ski slope]

Gus Gorman: I can't ski!

Vera Webster: Activate circuits 29 through W7 and start full-power coordinates on exterior defensive systems.

Lorelei: In other words, push this red button.

Vera Webster: How did you know about that?

Evil Superman: [Blurts out, to the disgusted crowd after exiting the bar] What're ya looking at? Huh?

Lorelei: Thought you'd never get here.

Evil Superman: Well I hope you don't expect me to save you because I don't do that anymore.

Lorelei: Ha! Don't worry. I'm long past saving. Well. Don't let me keep you from anything.

Evil Superman: I'm not in a rush. What did you have in mind?

Lorelei: Lot's of things.

Evil Superman: Oh, yeah?

Lorelei: [Superman picks up Lorelei by the arm] Woo! If you'll do me one little favor first.

Evil Superman: What's that?

Lorelei: Well. See, there's this little boat, and its not going where it's supposed to go and...

[Superman flies out to the oil tanker ship at sea and punctures the ship's hull, making the oil spill out. Then as Superman returns to Lorelei's pad]

Lorelei: Hi.

[Superman slowly walks into Lorelei's room]

Lorelei: How about a little apr├Ęs-ski?

[as Superman walks closer to Lorelei,]

Lorelei: Champagne?

[Superman proceeds to make out with Lorelei]

[first lines]

Unemployment Clerk: Next. Name?

Gus Gorman: Gus Gorman.