Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen: In the interest of clarity and sanity, the rest of this movie will not be in Polish.
Frederick Bronski: If it wasn't for Jews, fags, and gypsies, there would be no theater.
[of Bronski's performance]
Colonel Erhardt: What he did to Hamlet, we are now doing to Poland.
Anna Bronski: He's world-famous in Poland!
Lieutenant Andre Sobinski: I loved that picture of you on the farm. You behind the plow. By the way, where was that?
Anna Bronski: In the "Chronicle".
Lieutenant Andre Sobinski: No, I mean where's the farm?
Anna Bronski: Oh, the farm. The farm. Well, that's out of town somewhere... You know, that's where they keep them.
Anna Bronski: Oh, but that's enough talk about me. Let's talk about you. How'd you like me in the first act?
Anna Bronski: [to her pet dog] Mootkie, we are living in a rat hole.
Frederick Bronski: It's a, it's a, it's a RAT hole.
Nazi officer: You are sitting in Col. Erhardt's chair.
Anna Bronksi: Oh, how silly of me. Ten minutes ago it was my chair.
Colonel Earhardt: Vat do you mean you haven't got proof? Dat is no excuse! Arrezt zem! Vat? Vere? Vy? VEN? From now on, ven in doubt, arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Arrezt zem! Zen shoot zem and interrogate zem! Oh, you are right, just shoot zem!
Ratkowski: Ravitch, we're doing "Naughty Nazis", not "Naughty Marietta".
Anna Bronski: Oh look, a piano! With KEYS! And it WORKS!
Frederick Bronski: [disguised as Prof. Siletski] Remember, Erhardt, I'm going to see the Fuhrer tonight. Who knows *what* we'll talk about!
[Anne has revealed another group of refugees to Frederick]
Frederick Bronski: More! What are they, Jews or rabbits?
Anna Bronski: [as the Nazis are searching for Sasha] First you invade Poland, then you invade Warsaw, then you invade my dressing room... you people are compulsive invaders!
Anna Bronski: [Anna has just turned down Erhardt's invitation for supper] I never sup after I've dined.
[Sasha puts on his coat to go out]
Anna Bronski: What's that on your coat?
Sasha: Oh, it's the newest fashion in occupied Warsaw. Jews wear yellow stars, homosexuals wear pink triangles.
Anna Bronski: Sasha! How awful for you!
Sasha: [quietly] I hate it.
Anna Bronski: Now listen, they're rounding up Jews. Are they rounding up...?
Sasha: No, no, so far, so good. Now, don't wait up for me. I've got a hot date with another triangle.
[Frederick, disguised as Hitler, bursts in on Erhardt trying to assault Anna]
Colonel Erhardt: [weakly] Heil Hit... Hit... Hit...
Anna Bronski: Hitler.
Colonel Erhardt: Hitler.
Frederick Bronski: Heil.
Anna Bronski: I tried to tell him somebody big was coming.
Colonel Erhardt: Big! But...
Frederick Bronski: Come schatze, ve're late.
[Anna exits, but Frederick turns back to Erhardt]
Frederick Bronski: Vat's your name?
Colonel Erhardt: Colonel Er... Er... Er...
[sticking her head back in]
Anna Bronski: Erhardt.
Colonel Erhardt: Thank you.
Frederick Bronski: Erhardt? Erhardt? Aren't you the one who makes that joke about my becoming... A PICKLE?
[He leaves, slamming the door. Erhardt moans]
[Frederick, disguised as Professor Siletski, has to go to Gestapo Headquarters]
Frederick Bronski: Listen, sweetheart, if I don't come back, then I forgive you for anything that happened between you and Lt. Sobinski.
[He opens the door to leave, but turns back]
Frederick Bronski: But if I do come back, you're in a lot of trouble!
Frederick Bronski: Sondheim! Send in the clowns!
Frederick Bronski: [Disguised as Siletski] Remember, Earhardt, I'm going to see the Furher tonight - who knows *what* we'll talk about!
Frederick Bronski: If we don't make it through this, I forgive you for whatever happened between you and Lt. Sobinsky... but if we do, you're in a lot of trouble!
[Infuriated at Sobinski leaving the audience in the middle of his soliloquy, Frederick starts delivering the rest of his lines with uncharacteristic fire]
Ravitch: [watching from offstage] What happened? He's good tonight.