Sgt. Slaughter: Give your hearts to America, Joes, 'cause your butts belong to me!
[Shipwreck and Snake Eyes are sneaking around a Cobra base]
Shipwreck: Let's reconnoiter, Snake Eyes, and try not to attract attention. Sure. Who'd notice a wet sailor with a parrot and a silent, masked man with a timber wolf? I think we're in major trouble!
Tomax: No! Please don't.
[Flint heaves Tomax over his head and starts spinning him in the air. Tomax starts spinning on the ground and screaming]
Lady Jaye: What's going on? I didn't even touch him.
Flint: They must be telepathic. Whenever one of them feels something the other one feels it.
Flint: Remember, a Cobra is a snake and snake is sneak spelled sideways!
[Lady Jaye has beaten Gung Ho at a contest where the loser has to make dinner]
Stalker: What did you do that for, Lady Jaye? He'll make us eat that homemade Cajun gumbo of his!
Recondo: Yeah! Last time we used it to fuel the Skystrikers!
Gung Ho: Gumbo builds muscles! Right, Doc?
Doc: Well, it's certainly given you a cast-iron stomach!
Serpentor: Know that I am the one you seek! I am the one born to rule, destined to conquer! Let those who fear me follow me. Let those who oppose me die! For I am Serpentor, and this I command!
Destro: Using the full power of the laser core on Washington could leave us vulnerable to counter-attack!
Zartan: Nonsense! There is no possible way for G.I. Joe to resist the Weather Dominator!
Destro: I will not have my opinions questioned by a penny-ante quick-change artist!
Cobra Commander: What would you have me do with Washington, Destro? Pepper it with spitballs?
Zartan: The crucial, final fragment of the Weather Dominator, the laser core itself, is now entirely in my possession: a prize which I offer to the highest bidder. G.I. Joe? Cobra? The world belongs to one of you. The one with the greatest bank account!
Leatherneck: And don't call me 'Sir'! I work for a living!
Cobra Commander: As of now, your little project is deader than disco! Hmmm... Deader than disco... I like that... I would have made a great stand-up comedian.
Destro: The ion attractor generates forces strong enough to pull down the Aurora Borealis, the ions melt the ice, eventually raising the water level eighty feet around the world. Every coastal city will be flooded! And then with the world in chaos, Cobra strikes!
Lady Jaye: Brilliant, Destro! I bet you'd take first prize at the science fair!
Destro: Beware, Lady Jaye! With so sharp a tongue you could cut your own throat!
Cobra Commander: NO! G.I. Joe was ready for us! How dare they anticipate my strategy?
Announcer: GI Joe is the codename for America's highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against COBRA. A ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.
Flint: Okay, what in the name of sanity are you people doing here? This is a restricted area!
Barbecue: Dreadnoks may be cops in this world but they're still stupid.
Lady Jaye: [as she looks at the guys sheepishly out the lady's change room door] Could someone please pass me my pants? I'm a little too big for my britches.
Destro: Premature panic is the sign of an immature mind!
Gen. Hawk: No need to get flustered, son, we're all Joes here.
Gung Ho: [shooting at dinosaur] C'mon, at least ACT like it hurts!
Roadblock: It'll take 30 years for those dinos to grow up - and we'll all be retired by then.
Quick Kick: [using clippers to free Lady Jaye from mechanical tenticles; singing] I'm the Barber of Seville!
Serpentor: There can be *no* negotiation, you insolent microbe!
Low-Light: You gotta be tougher than that! I'm no wimp any more! I'm a G.I. Joe, and nothing stops a G.I. Joe! Nothing!
Recondo: The savagery of the jungle mixed with the excitement of the city. Where else but India?
Wet Suit: [Leatherneck is doing badly at the shooting range] Next time we're in combat, Leatherneck, remind me to get right in front of you. That'll be the safest place!
[Talking about Sgt. Slaughter]
Cobra Commander: That man has the constitutionality of a vending machine.
[the Cobra troops are surrounded]
Major Bludd: Now I know how Custer felt!
Cobra Commander: Morons! I have morons on my payroll!
Cobra Commander: I shall be waiting to reward your genius, or to have you beheaded for terminal stupidity! I have spoken.
Mainframe: [Beachhead puts a wrecked data disk on Mainframe's desk] Oh, no! How could you guys do that to a little disk?
Buzzer: [chasing Thrasher as he drives away with the Thunder Machine] Thrasher, you bloody dingo!
Gung Ho: Every Cobra trooper in the world was hidden in that mountain!
Flint: [pointing to Baroness on her speeder boat] There!
Baroness, Mongolian Warrior, Sandy: [Pulls off her mask, puts on her glasses] All's fair in love and war!
[Blows him a kiss as she escapes on her speeder boat]
Baroness, Mongolian Warrior, Sandy: It could have been WONDERFUL, Flint!
[Flint waves good bye to her as she escapes with an incredulous but wry grin]
Lady Jaye: Are you SURE that stuff wore off?
[Flint hugs her, gives her a kiss]
Cross-Country: Ted Stuart, you is avenged!