Bill Murray credited as playing...
Dr. Peter Venkman
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
- Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
- Mayor: Is this true?
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.
- [pause]
- Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.
- Walter Peck: Jeez!
- [Charges at Venkman]
- Mayor: Break it up! Hey, break this up! Break it up!
- Walter Peck: All right, all right, all right!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's what I heard!
- Gozer: [after Ray orders her to re-locate] Are you a God?
- [Ray looks at Peter, who nonchalantly nods yes]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: No.
- Gozer: Then... DIE!
- [Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people below scream]
- Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
- Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
- Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
- Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!
- Mayor: All right, all right! I get the point!
- Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: [as the Ghostbusters approach Gozer] Grab your stick!
- [the Ghostbusters draw their handsets]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: HOLDIN'!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up!
- [they arm their packs]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Make 'em hard!
- [they rack their handsets]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown... THROW IT!
- Dana Barrett: [as The Gatekeeper] I want you inside me.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: [referring to her radical change in personality] Go ahead! No, I can't. It sounds like you've got at least two or three people in there already.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Just relax. Lie down there, relax. Put your hands on your chest. What I'd really like to do is talk to Dana. I wanna talk to Dana. Dana? It's Peter.
- Dana Barrett: There is no Dana, there is only Zuul.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, Zuulie, you nut, now c'mon. C'mon, I wanna talk to Dana. Dana. Just relax, c'mon. Dana. Dana. Can I talk to Dana?
- Dana Barrett: [in an inhuman demonic voice] There is no Dana, only Zuul!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: What a lovely singing voice you must have.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft's okay! He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!
- Gozer: The Choice is made!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Ho! Ho! Whoa-oa!
- Gozer: The Traveller has come!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Nobody choosed anything!
- [turns to Egon]
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Did you choose anything?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: No.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Winston] Did YOU?
- Winston Zeddemore: My mind is totally blank.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: I didn't choose anything...
- [long pause, Peter, Egon and Winston all look at Ray]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: I couldn't help it. It just popped in there.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: [angrily] What? WHAT "just popped in there?"
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: I... I... I tried to think...
- Dr. Egon Spengler: LOOK!
- [they all look over one side of the roof]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: No! It CAN'T be!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: What is it?
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: It CAN'T be!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: What did you DO, Ray?
- Winston Zeddemore: Oh, shit!
- [they all see a giant cubic white head topped with a sailor hat, Peter looks at Ray]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: [somberly] It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Alice, I'm going to ask you a couple of standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family been diagnosed schizophrenic? Mentally incompetent?
- Librarian Alice: My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs? Stimulants? Alcohol?
- Librarian Alice: No.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?
- Library Administrator: What has that got to do with it?
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no HUMAN BEING would stack books like this.
- Man at Elevator: What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?
- Dr. Peter Venkman: No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve.
- Man at Elevator: That's gotta be some cockroach.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Bite your head off, man.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Entering elevator] Going up?
- Man at Elevator: I'll take the next one.
- Dr. Egon Spengler: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the particle flow through the gate.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: How?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: [hesitates] We'll cross the streams.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: 'Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cross the streams...
- Dr. Peter Venkman: You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client - the nice lady, who paid us in advance, before she became a dog...
- Dr. Egon Spengler: Not necessarily. There's definitely a VERY SLIM chance we'll survive.
- [pause while they consider this]
- Dr. Peter Venkman: [slaps Ray] I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it! LET'S DO IT!
- Winston Zeddemore: [all get up to get ready] This job is definitely not worth $11,500 a year.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: [Sarcastically] That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray.
- [In a TV commercial]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost?
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: If the answer is "yes," then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals...
- Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: Ghostbusters.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: [in unison] We're ready to believe you.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
- [clearing away tables in the dining room to make room for the ghost trap]
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: I've gotta get this in the clear...!
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Wait, wait, wait! I've always wanted to do this...
- [He yanks a tablecloth off of a table, overturning and shattering everything except the centerpiece in the middle]
- Dr. Peter Venkman: [triumphantly] And the flowers are still standing!
- Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
- Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
- Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
- Dr. Raymond Stantz: Yep. Let's get ready. Switch me on!